Dave,
I have read your posts, and like others have expressed, wonder that for all my relationship with mum has had its 'ups and downs', certainly nothing like you have had/are experiencing.
I feel I have had nothing to 'contribute' to you - until today.
Picked mum up from hospital this morning and nurses reported her 'confusion' through the night - at which I was tearful for HER sake. Soon as I got her home she told me (3 times in 10 minutes) "I could have come home, you know, only they rang you and there was no answer".
Didn't 'argue', but it gutted me. I have run myself into a physical rag these last 48 hours (not to mention the last few weeks/months etc....) First time she has 'had a go' and - boy, it hurt! Pretty steep learning curve, this one, ain't it? (I have actually checked with the ward that is is NOT my paranoia - and no, no-one rang!!!! But for a moment I started to cast my self as reckless daughter who had ignored a ringing phone).
Anyway, this was just to say, I learnt a 'smidgeon' of what you are going through today and wish you love and luck.