Advice, please.

[bowlinggeoff]

Myself and family are firmly convinced that my wife, Kathleen, 77yrs old, has the early signs of dementia.
My dilemma is that Kathleen keeps asking me if I think that she has dementia.
I don 't know what to say, so I throw the question back to her, ''Do you think that you have dementia ?"
She replies, ''No''
What do I do? Should I tell her that we think that she has, or not''
Your advice would be very welcome.
Kathleen refuses to talk to her GP about it or visit a memory clinic.

 

[Bunpoots]

Welcome to DTP @bowlinggeoff

It sounds as though your wife is seeking reassurance. I think you're doing the right thing not telling her. There are other things which can mimic dementia so getting her to the GP would help to rule these out, or get treatment for something curable so do try to get her there. Perhaps you could let the GP know of your concerns (and your wife's attitude) then they could call her in for a well woman check.

 

[northumbrian_k]

Hi @bowlinggeoff and welcome to our supportive and knowledgeable community. From my experience, you need to proceed in stages, none of which may be easy. Getting your wife to the GP is paramount. It would be good if this could be by invitation as she may be more willing to comply. The GP will want to rule out other things, but if dementia is suspected may want to do a memory test. This may need a second, double length appointment. If your wife is comfortable with you accompanying her then that would be good. The GP may choose to speak to you/ask for your view (if your wife allows), but if not put your concerns to the GP in writing.

If memory or other issues are confirmed what happens next will depend on various factors. It could be seen as Mild Cognitive Impairment to be kept under review. A referral to a memory clinic may not be made in that case. If a memory clinic is the next appropriate step, a referral may be made. Getting your wife to attend when invited will be another hurdle, again made easier if she is willing to be accompanied. There may need to be follow-up appointments before any diagnosis is confirmed.

 

[bowlinggeoff]

Welcome to DTP @bowlinggeoff

It sounds as though your wife is seeking reassurance. I think you're doing the right thing not telling her. There are other things which can mimic dementia so getting her to the GP would help to rule these out, or get treatment for something curable so do try to get her there. Perhaps you could let the GP know of your concerns (and your wife's attitude) then they could call her in for a well woman check.

Many many thanks for your advice. Kathleen refuses to see her GP, at present. I have written to the GP, at length, about my concerns, but I have been told that there's nothing she can do, at present, because Kathleen won't
see her. I will try and contact the GP again with a view to her having a well woman check.

 

[bowlinggeoff]

Hi @bowlinggeoff and welcome to our supportive and knowledgeable community. From my experience, you need to proceed in stages, none of which may be easy. Getting your wife to the GP is paramount. It would be good if this could be by invitation as she may be more willing to comply. The GP will want to rule out other things, but if dementia is suspected may want to do a memory test. This may need a second, double length appointment. If your wife is comfortable with you accompanying her then that would be good. The GP may choose to speak to you/ask for your view (if your wife allows), but if not put your concerns to the GP in writing.

If memory or other issues are confirmed what happens next will depend on various factors. It could be seen as Mild Cognitive Impairment to be kept under review. A referral to a memory clinic may not be made in that case. If a memory clinic is the next appropriate step, a referral may be made. Getting your wife to attend when invited will be another hurdle, again made easier if she is willing to be accompanied. There may need to be follow-up appointments before any diagnosis is confirmed.

Hi Northumbria. Many, many thanks for your advice. Please see my reply to Bunpoots regarding how hard it is to
get Kathleen to see her GP. I will try and get her there on the pretext of her having a well woman check up. In the meantime, I will take Bunpoot's advice and throw the question back to Kathleen.

Hi @bowlinggeoff and welcome to our supportive and knowledgeable community. From my experience, you need to proceed in stages, none of which may be easy. Getting your wife to the GP is paramount. It would be good if this could be by invitation as she may be more willing to comply. The GP will want to rule out other things, but if dementia is suspected may want to do a memory test. This may need a second, double length appointment. If your wife is comfortable with you accompanying her then that would be good. The GP may choose to speak to you/ask for your view (if your wife allows), but if not put your concerns to the GP in writing.

If memory or other issues are confirmed what happens next will depend on various factors. It could be seen as Mild Cognitive Impairment to be kept under review. A referral to a memory clinic may not be made in that case. If a memory clinic is the next appropriate step, a referral may be made. Getting your wife to attend when invited will be another hurdle, again made easier if she is willing to be accompanied. There may need to be follow-up appointments before any diagnosis is confirmed.