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advice please

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
8,002
0
Essex
Good morning @jennifer1967,

Men's shed today and I hope you're feeling better. I had trouble getting off to sleep as we had a rehearsal in a cold venue and I came home to warmth also woke with my brain going over looking after the tortoise. Even so my anxiety isn't like last year although I think it takes a long time to get over it.

MaNaAk
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
12,716
0
Southampton
Good morning @jennifer1967,

Men's shed today and I hope you're feeling better. I had trouble getting off to sleep as we had a rehearsal in a cold venue and I came home to warmth also woke with my brain going over looking after the tortoise. Even so my anxiety isn't like last year although I think it takes a long time to get over it.

MaNaAk
good morning @MaNaAk feeling a bit better thankyou. my back still hurts but i just keep going. i think if you are an anxious person, it will ebb and flow given whatever situation you are in at the time. tortoises not hibernating is new and so is the required equipment. sometimes you need to believe in yourself more and know that its natural to be anxious about new situations.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
12,716
0
Southampton
hes had his booster this morning, my son took him. pfizer and has reported his arm is still attached which is a good sign. i have warned him he might feel unwell later but at the moment hes fine. got puffed out as he had quite a walk after getting out the car. he had to wait 15minutes this time. the oxford you didnt need to.
im still feeling very tired but im going out tomorrow on the bus just to get out for a bit.8 weeks and my great-granddaughter is due on new years day.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
12,716
0
Southampton
im battling with my mental health. the time of year doesnt help. i feel like locking myself away. trying to get up in the morning is challenging and all i looking forward to is going back to bed. nothing seems to perk me up. i try going out and planning things to look forward to but there feels like something missing. he is a lot better and he is so much easier which makes me wonder why i cant get myself up and enjoy life. the domestic abuse org. has not scheduled any more calls which takes the pressure off being upstairs at a certain point not knowing which day they will ring. he has said for me to get my christmas present and he will keep them back until christmas. he cant go shopping and has no idea what to get me so its good that i get what i want but there will be no surprises. i cant have it both ways. hes getting on well at the shed and has friends there. he looks forward to it which is also good. he was sanding down some wood yesterday with a mask on. another man has offered to take him out and have coffee afterwards which is nice of him. he finds it hard to make friends.
i want to do things and theres something stopping me. the clearing is at a much slower rate because my back hurts even if i do tiny bit extra. i keep a back and box in my room and put things in as and when. i feel really flat, that lifes passing me by and im wasting it by doing things. i tried a book club to meet people but i havent got the time to read a book i dont enjoy. maybe i just need to shake myself. i keep up with the housework and all the things i do for him. its just myself im having a problem with. im going out tomorrow on the bus just to get out and be somewhere different. still have hot flushes at night which wakes me up. have the window wide open and put fan on as needed. that doesnt help. i have life easier to some others so i get annoyed with myself moaning. if i hear one more christmas advert..........maybe thats emphasizing the loneliness and the feeling down.
 

margherita

Registered User
May 30, 2017
3,245
0
Italy, Milan and Acqui Terme
Hi @jennifer1967 ,
You have been through months of anxiety and fear which you managed bravely. Now that things seem to be a bit better you can recognise how tired and exhausted you are. I ' d suggest you don't force yourself to do what you don't feel like doing. It takes time to recover strength and energy. (((((HUGS))))
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
12,716
0
Southampton
Hi @jennifer1967 ,
You have been through months of anxiety and fear which you managed bravely. Now that things seem to be a bit better you can recognise how tired and exhausted you are. I ' d suggest you don't force yourself to do what you don't feel like doing. It takes time to recover strength and energy. (((((HUGS))))
thankyou @margherita i thought i was going mad and its taken me a bit to post how im feeling as i thought i was just being self-centred and indulgent.im still watchful but it is better so i will take that rather than wondering for how long. he is definitely worse and slower. his memory is worse and i cant leave him as long as he will call me wondering when im coming back. i do phone him during the time to make sure hes ok. he gets tired quicker and especially in company.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
12,716
0
Southampton
thank you for your support and glad i managed to write how i feel. im going out tomorrow on the bus so will amuse the passengers again but if it puts a smile on their face, so be it. ive got a bag of books going to charity shop and some more of my clothes going. i expect my daughter will be round on thursday with his meds as its due this week. probably when he comes back from the shed. im lucky ive got this forum and the members.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
12,716
0
Southampton
i went out on the bus and can steer well on the bus now. yes it was quite busy but i managed to do what i wanted to do. got rid of a load of books and got some more. not sure that thats the way it works but it works for me. i did get him another christmas present. 2 more bags of my clothes have gone as well.
while i was out, the council have phoned and are going to start the bathroom adaption on 25/11. i need to clear the bathroom out and check out half empty bottles that i dont want. it will be a walkin shower and non-slip floor, weighted shower curtains and a waterproof blind. they will also install a new shower and have a fold down chair. im grateful as we dont have to pay as we rent the council house. just waiting to see when im going to get my ramp done. it will be 10 days of mess but it will be worth it as my husband will be able to use the shower, probably with my help but it at least im not carrying bowls of water from kitchen to living room. its taken just over a year so not bad considering covid. ive just got to learn to live with the mess.