im trying not to get annoyed about the mayor tea. they have done so much as in paying for the taxi and accessing a wheelchair as well alz. soc. lady supporting and pushing me. the thing is that im trying to co-ordinate where the taxi will be dropping me as the meet up entrance is not wheelchair accessible. where the wheelchair will be in relation to the taxi as the carpark is cobbled and will really hurt my back if they push me over it as well as hard work for the person pushing me and their back. it feels like i have to do all the thinking of which is better then ask them about it. it might be just me appearing to be ungrateful and if thats the case, i do apologize. just feels like im chasing all the time. i know how bad the pain will be if i dont do this right. im regretting yesterday standing at the counter of a cafe and will learn. ive been awake a lot of the night because of the pain. i just want to know what happening and for me to feel in control and at the moment i dont think that.