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advice please

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
11,842
0
Southampton
Men's shed today.
yes!! awful day yesterday with my pain still bad. he carried the washing out today as when i stood up, he heard my back crack. really not doing too much today and enjoy the peace. sad things is that he said he knows hes getting worse needing help to do more things.
 

GillP

Registered User
Aug 11, 2021
1,464
0
So sad to hear that he knows he’s getting worse. I cannot imagine what it must be like for those with dementia. Look after yourself and make the most of today.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
11,842
0
Southampton
So sad to hear that he knows he’s getting worse. I cannot imagine what it must be like for those with dementia. Look after yourself and make the most of today.
thankyou we do try. its only since ive been able to go out with him, me on the mobility scooter, that ive noticed how confused he is and im aware of how much i have to help him to get ready to go out. he wobbles as well. my son says that he turns the corner and hopes for the best. hes noticed he cuts corners as well. he has had to grab him a couple of times. my daughter gives him the trolley in shops.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
11,842
0
Southampton
my husband is getting constipated more regularly. he has vegetables, grapes and i give him laxido when its a problem. hes not like it most of the time but on odd days. he eats properly and drinks so im wondering whether its another step down.
 

nita

Registered User
Dec 30, 2011
2,410
0
Essex
@jennifer1967 - perhaps it is because he can't move so much? Have you tried prunes, dried apricots and bran? These things used to work for me but now I have to take Laxido regularly. You are supposed to drink a lot of water - 2 litres a day - but I find that hard as I don't like it!
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
11,842
0
Southampton
@jennifer1967 - perhaps it is because he can't move so much? Have you tried prunes, dried apricots and bran? These things used to work for me but now I have to take Laxido regularly. You are supposed to drink a lot of water - 2 litres a day - but I find that hard as I don't like it!
ive told him to drink more, he doesnt move as much. he went to men shed this morning but has been sat in the chair for quite a few hours and slept. he eats grapes like mad and i think im going to have to be more alert and give him laxido more often. it used to be the iron tablets but they have stopped them a few weeks ago. i have suggested dried fruit and he does like figs. i tend to have sugar free flavoured water which just gives a hint of flavour.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
11,842
0
Southampton
thanks, he doesnt like sweetcorn as the body doesnt digest it. it doesnt alter either and stays the same. he did finally manage to go and fell asleep for most of the evening. the look of relief on his face was priceless.
 

GillP

Registered User
Aug 11, 2021
1,464
0
thanks, he doesnt like sweetcorn as the body doesnt digest it. it doesnt alter either and stays the same. he did finally manage to go and fell asleep for most of the evening. the look of relief on his face was priceless.
Bless him and you for making sure he could ‘perform’!
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
11,842
0
Southampton
Porridge with prunes is good @jennifer1967 if your husband will take them
im afraid he doesnt like prunes. ive even suggested prune juice to him. hes agreed to figs and dried apricots and eats grapes like they are going out of fashion. he never had this problem before but its getting more frequent. im going to have to watch his diet and be more aware of what hes doing. he does sit around a lot more now because of his COPD and the breathlessness especially with the change of weather.
 

SueBo

New member
Apr 6, 2020
6
0
my husband has vascular dementia and is constantly ordering and demanding. hes constantly nagging me to do what he wants. immediately. i need to shorten his jeans so nagged again until i do them. i make sure the house is clean for him and he always has clean clothes. always got what he needs and wants. he explodes when he gets frustrated. tonight he has shouted at me and told me he doesnt want to see me again tonight. i gave him his meds and he was still stroppy. ive left him there. even nagging me about i havent had the jab yet, ive no control over that and his shouting is not going to get it any quicker.
the kids dont see any difference in him. its usually me thats the mad one. he takes the rise out of me and laughs about it. says stupid things then laughs. he can still cook but it doesnt wash things out very well. i have tried to ignore what he says not react but he scares me when he shouts. tonight for the first time in a while, i locked the bathroom door while having a shower. didnt feel safe to leave it unlocked. the other thing he does that i dont know how to handle is that he gropes. i have to go past his chair to go out the front room door and his hands is are outstretched to grab me. we have separate rooms and we dont have a physical relationship as such. we will hug and kiss goodnight but not any further. hes always been short-tempered but this is ongoing every day. i have to jump to commands. he presents like you wouldnt think anything is wrong. it hurts and all i can do is cry which seems to make no difference. we dont have carers and wont as he has capacity to say no. the dementia has exaggerated the temper he already had. any ideas?
How old are the children? Like someone has suggested, you may need to leave him.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
11,842
0
Southampton
How old are the children? Like someone has suggested, you may need to leave him.
that was more than a year ago now. since then, he has been taking memantine after a referral to older peoples mental health[OPMH]. he takes 20mg every night and he is a lot calmer, happier and content. he has taken a couple of steps down so i am needed increasingly more to help him. he is easier although we do have rare moments. im stronger as well which helps me cope. all my children are adults with families and households of their own.

* can i say to new members that its more helpful to read the whole thread so you get the progression rather than picking one post out of it and choosing to comment on it. these could be out of date.