advice please
- Thread starter jennifer1967
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- vascular dementia
So sorry about your struggle and how you're feeling. I'm new to this and not social media inclined. I'm real and honest, but we all should be careful how we word a post. I have feelings too, being in this situation for as long as I have, have a lot of on the job experience. I also have many resources, facts and knowledge and have helped so many carers. I support UCLA, USC, Helping Hands and many others. You never know who you're judging so I don't. Take care of yourself. I have a great support team that I at first thought I didn't need, but it's a must. Be safe...
I know Helping Hands is a care agency in UK and also in US, but I dont know the other abbreviations. This is a UK site, but Im wondering whether you are actually in US. If so, cultural differences and different speech patterns may have caused problems.
i appreciate the sentiment thank you. theres a lot going on for me with the bathroom adaptation going on and increase needs of my husband. im his sole carer with my children helping as and when. we dont have carers as hes not that advance and has capacity to say no. he goes to mens shed to give us both a break from each other. i have my mobility scooter so i go out couple of times a week and amuse the passengers on the bus with my steering. i know what you mean with turning of your husband. ive done it many times at work. please be careful of your back and joints. has anyone showed you how to do it safely without causing injury to yourself. if you damage back or joints, they are not easily rectified and are painful. im only 54 and limited to what i can do which there is no cure but just pain management. look after yourself
@jennifer1967 sorry you had a bad night. I always follow your thread and find your experiences would have helped me look after my dad (if you had been on DTP at that time). Only a few members on here have worked in a dementia care home so you have a valuable contribution to make.
thank you, im still learning as each person is different. what works for one definitely wouldnt work for another. we had person-centred care so adapted it to the person as it was the person that was important and whatever works i did. it makes me cross when paperwork has not been done as it gives a picture of how the person is, what they eaten drunk, meds taken, any sores. more importantly when they have refused. if you dont write it down, how can they be monitored and problems reported.
Hi @jennifer1967 I'm just catching up with your thread and so sorry to see you had a bad evening/night. I just wanted to say that I too have found your immense and kind support invaluable not just during the time of my dads dementia but very much so since his passing too. I believe you have probably seen more dementia types than most of us here on DTP will ever see due to your very valuable work in the care homes and very sadly now you are living with your own very personal experience with your husband. It is without doubt a horrendous soul destroying disease which we will see different parts of along the journey because it not only affects the PWD so much but those that are also the closest to them. I had been fortunate in that I had not encountered any dementia at all until my own dad developed it but your help in my understanding of what was going on with practical advice along with other members that were so kind to reply to my threads has always been much appreciated. Dads mixed dementia ( officially diagnosed ) and what it did will continue to live with me forever but at least my dad is at peace now. For you the journey continues but I know what tremendous work you are doing in providing practical help and advice to others along with your caring words which mean so much. All of this is done whilst providing your husband with the best care you can along with having to deal with your own pain and discomfort. Take care and sending you a hug ?
I read your posts, they are always helpful insightful & non judgemental. You have a lot of experience & give good support & common sense replies. Please don’t feel put down. I’ve noticed posts elsewhere that have raised my eyebrows but people haven’t always got the whole picture before commenting. Your contribution is valuable to many. Sending a ((hug))
thank you @Wildflowerlady im a bit choked up and thankyou for the hug, hugs always appreciated. im speechless which is a new thing for me.
thank you @Moggymad, i always read your posts especially about sherman. ive learnt so much. i didnt know about poa until i came on here. he was diagnosed 2 weeks before first lockdown which he was then shielding. we only had broadband and my laptop for a month before that. now im mainly housebound and dont see people very often, its a lifeline for me.
I feel you. I'm 68 as of Dec. 24th and I do have to really watch my back. I think I've got the turn down. He can't speak much and that's kind of a bitter sweet for me. I too have to take pain meds. Had 2 hip replacements years ago and doing well, but have to be careful. Managing him, myself and the meds, not to over do it is a true disciplinary act. Hope you're doing ok and glad to meet you.
Sometimes we need someone to make us scream. It so relaxing. All of that balled up energy releasing. And this too shall pass. Right?
my husband is finding it hard to breathe with breathing in the dust as he has COPD. we close the door and hes using a fan to circulate the air. hes going out tomorrow morning to his shed. tomorrows work will be more dusty as hes filling and sanding and decorating. he sat outside last night just to get the dust out. im concerned although theres no way round it. ive even thought about him going to one of the kids but they both live in flats and steps might well be too much for him. the man doing it doesnt wear a mask. im on anti-histamines as im allergic to the amount and it gets every way.
i went out for a break today on the bus and treated myself to some more wool. blue for a change for my neighbours daughter whose having a boy. hes sleeping more and his understanding is markedly worse. there is new difficulties appearing daily and im having to adapt.
i went out for a break today on the bus and treated myself to some more wool. blue for a change for my neighbours daughter whose having a boy. hes sleeping more and his understanding is markedly worse. there is new difficulties appearing daily and im having to adapt.
Dear @jennifer1967,
I think his breathing must be affecting his dementia. Hopefully he'll feel better when the bathroom is finished.
MaNaAk
I think his breathing must be affecting his dementia. Hopefully he'll feel better when the bathroom is finished.
MaNaAk
good morning @MaNaAk i hadnt thought of that but he is really tired with it i think hes about had enough now. he sleeps a lot in his chair which is his breathing and getting up early. we have to keep the living room shut. hes off out today having a gossip with the other men so it will get him out. one more day after today and then we get a break for the weekend. theres no point in cleaning as it get covered in dust again. the man does hoover the stairs down and cleans up but its going to take forever to clear it.
im hanging on to that thought and ive tried to keep some routine but theres someone else in the house. i think hes in host mode as well so that will tire him out even more
my husband is off the hook and out of the doghouse. he wanted white everything, tiles walls and floor. white tiles i can cope with with stickers to break it up. the painter is going to see if he can have a different colour for the walls and we will definitely not be having white floor. i will be forever mopping it and yes it looks clean but also a hospital ward. dont get a man to choses colours especially if they have dementia. or a lady with no colour co-ordination. not long to go, about 4 days so done the biggest part of it. the cleaning will come when they have finished. i was up at 5am reading my book.
That describes me
I don't know where to start getting my bathroom done. Bath? Shower? Both? Part-tiled, fully-tiled? Lighting, flooring? As for colours - eeeeek! I think I need to look at some pictures on the interweb...
Any advice or dos and don'ts, Jennifer?
Dear Jennifer Please don't let this person's comments distress you. You are definitely caring and supportive. You have certainly helped me a lot. Best wishes Susan
