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Advice please

VET

Registered User
Dec 9, 2019
14
0
Hi All
Thank you so much for all of this information.
I felt so deflated when I spoke to Social care this morning. Your advice has given me hope.
She has had 2 safeguarding put in by police but ASC still deem her fit to live alone .
I fortunately have LPA for health & finance.
Best wishes to you all , .You don’t know how much your advice has helped today
 

kindred

Registered User
Apr 8, 2018
2,559
0
Hi All
Thank you so much for all of this information.
I felt so deflated when I spoke to Social care this morning. Your advice has given me hope.
She has had 2 safeguarding put in by police but ASC still deem her fit to live alone .
I fortunately have LPA for health & finance.
Best wishes to you all , .You don’t know how much your advice has helped today
. Feeling deflated when speaking to social care is an occupational hazard!
All good wishes to you. You sound so caring and committed. Kimdred
 

Wildflowerlady

Registered User
Sep 30, 2019
398
0
Hi @VET
I have had the heart wrenching job of having to take my dad to a CH this Monday due to the fact that the Care Company that had supplied dads carers 4 x daily for three years said that they could no longer supply dads care. The biggest issue was dad for several months started to decline care and was very verbally abusive and more recently started to indicate physical threats/raising of hand and throwing stuff. Most of the time my dad would just watch his TV showing little interest in anything else and did not do anything not even get himself a drink. Dad has declined a fair bit this year and I would find him just sitting in his lounge eyes shut with no interest in TV or my visit. Dad lost bladder and bowel control so wears a permanent catheter and pads. Dads appetite beyond a cooked breakfast declined in recent weeks and although dad had not wandered outside his home his general behaviour was becoming increasingly worrying. Sister and carers on recent visits had found dad in spare bedroom in distressed states and dad was having more delusions that we were going to harm him, steal his money etc believed his parents were alive my dad is 86 years.
In June this year Crisis Team were called in and again on two other occasions last time being in October when the lady that came out determined that dad knew what a care home was didn't want to go in for Respite and said that dad had capacity so nothing could be done. Roll on to now just a short time after and the Care Company finished their services Monday morning. ASC said they were unable to get another Care Company in and so I had to take dad to a CH. Its looking very likely dad will have to stay in Residential Care although not sure if it will be the CH that ASC arranged for this two week Respite. I know from what ASC said two CH declined taking dad due to his behaviour but the CH he has gone to is a bit difficult for sister to visit as she doesn't drive neither does her husband so we are hoping that maybe dad can be moved a little closer but will have to wait and see how things pan out. My dad also has a dog but sister took him back to her home earlier in the year as some carers weren't keen he's harmless but he is a prolific barker and barked loudly when they arrived making some of them nervous so now sister is going to keep him. Like you sister has never owned a dog but can't face re-homing him, dog is now 9 years and has had major surgery on his back which did leave some toilet issues ( weakened bowels ) so its unlikely anyone else will have him. I have my own dog that is epileptic so can't take him as she's not overly keen on other dogs so might not accept him anyway. I underestimated how I would feel taking dad to CH as I had focused purely on what I felt my dad needed which is 24/7 care but the aftermath of how I feel now is eating away at me. I will have to hope dad settles I know it had to be done to keep him safe but I know he's not that happy.
 

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
560
0
I have spoken to ASC team this morning and they have told me that my Mum will need an assessment by her GP to determine if she has capacity.
if the GP thinks she does then I cannot put her in a care home against her will.
I just want my Mum to be safe .
Tell your ASC people to go and get some training in the Mental Capacity Act. Assessment does not have to be done by a GP. If you are her attorney then you should assess her yourself. You will need to know the criteria of course, which you will find in other threads or by online reading.
 

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
560
0
Hi @VET

In June this year Crisis Team were called in and again on two other occasions last time being in October when the lady that came out determined that dad knew what a care home was didn't want to go in for Respite and said that dad had capacity so nothing could be done.
There is far more to capacity than understanding what a care home is. The patient needs to be able to understand the issues that are carefully explained to him, e.g. his safety, welfare, etc the risks of being at home, the difficulties of providing care at home etc. Then he needs to remember them for long enough to consider and weigh up the pros and cons of the decision. I suspect many dementia patients cannot weigh up the pros and cons in any meaningful way. If he is able to fully understand and consider all the issues then yes he has capacity. Just knowing what a care home is falls a long way short of that.
 

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
560
0
Hi @VET

I. I underestimated how I would feel taking dad to CH as I had focused purely on what I felt my dad needed which is 24/7 care but the aftermath of how I feel now is eating away at me. I will have to hope dad settles I know it had to be done to keep him safe but I know he's not that happy.
Actually you did exactly the right thing as his attorney. You must act in his interests, not your own. It is hard to do but you must disregard how you feel yourself and only consider what is in the patient's best interests.
 

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