I hit a crisis yesterday. Background: Mum was diagnosed with Alzheimers Jan 2013 Dad died June 2013 and I have been Mums main carer since then. No other family (sister is in Australia). Mum went into hospital on 31st Dec 2018 as she was delirious and having halucinations. She wasn't sleeping up all night and had confused day with night. It took 2.5 months for docs to get her stable and moved to nursing care. Shes been told that she is convalescing after her long hospital stay (2.5 months in assessment). She's always asked about when she can go home but it is getting more frequent . (I am in the process of selling the family home of 60 years as we need the funds to pay for her home which is £1300 per week (self-funding). I visit her Monday Wednesday and Friday for an hour each day and at the weekends have been taking her out in the afternoons - she is very active and mobile. When she gets back to the home she gets anxious and asks where I am taking her but has always gone back. Yesterday was different. When we were in the car going back to home she asked where her house key was and could I take her to her own house right now! She did not want to go anywhere else. She said if she coudl not go home she just wanted to die. I tried to soothe her and told her she was not going to be there forever but she turned on me and said that how could I do this to her and if my father knew what I was up to he would be furious with me. She was crying and shaking. I felt so sorry for her to be so upset. It hurt so bad at the time but I know these outbursts are part of the illness and I need to learn not to take them personally. The advise I need is this - is taking her out the wrong thing to do now? She always liked to go for lunch and visit her ice cream place on the way home....we've had lunch on Saturdays together for years and I was trying to keep her in touch with her life before going into long term care....she keeps asking when she's going out with me and I tell her as soon as its the weekend we can go. Maybe taking her out and coming back is now too distressing or should I just carry on and accept she will be upset going back to the home? I'm also going o call the CPN tomorrow to see what she thinks. Thanks for any input.