Advice please.....

[lolly65]

Hello everyone, I'm new to this and need some advice, having just got my mum in a care home, I feel like I have abandoned her and feel so guilty all the time, in think about her al the time and worried than she is ok, but also feel relieved that all the phone calls have stopped, and I can start to get on with my life, as this has taken over my life for 3 years, is this normal, I feel so overwhelmed with the complexity of it all, never mind the financial implications, having dealt with the social services and their finance people, I have found it so stressful, and it's not over yet, I was in the midst of selling her house, only now to be told I have to get a capacity assessment done first, otherwise I will have to get a cop order done, which will take months, I had a buyer for mum's house the contract was signed, and they have just hit me with this bombshell, don't know how much more I can take, it's just so overwhelming. Any advice would be greatly received.
Thanks
Melissa

 

[Canadian Joanne]

I don't know the legal system in the UK but do you have PoA and is it registered?

About your feelings, it is very natural for you to feel relieved and guilty about feeling relieved. You have not abandoned her, you have ensured that she is safe and will be cared for and fed properly.

Sorry I can't be of any help.

 

[Sarasa]

Hi @lolly65, Like you I've just moved mum into a care home, and though I don't quite feel like I've abandoned her I do worry that she thinks I've deliberately deprived her of her liberty. My brother and I are in the process of selling mum's house. We have POA and at the moment it's progressing smoothly.
I hope you get things sorted out, but in the meantime stay strong!

 

[Rosettastone57]

Hello everyone, I'm new to this and need some advice, having just got my mum in a care home, I feel like I have abandoned her and feel so guilty all the time, in think about her al the time and worried than she is ok, but also feel relieved that all the phone calls have stopped, and I can start to get on with my life, as this has taken over my life for 3 years, is this normal, I feel so overwhelmed with the complexity of it all, never mind the financial implications, having dealt with the social services and their finance people, I have found it so stressful, and it's not over yet, I was in the midst of selling her house, only now to be told I have to get a capacity assessment done first, otherwise I will have to get a cop order done, which will take months, I had a buyer for mum's house the contract was signed, and they have just hit me with this bombshell, don't know how much more I can take, it's just so overwhelming. Any advice would be greatly received.
Thanks
Melissa

I assume you don't have POA for finances?

 

[lolly65]

Thanks for your support, no I don't have one if I can't get a legal power of attorney I will have to get a cop order which costs a lot and take 4 to 6 months....it never ends