I phoned the care home today and a place has come up so mum can go in next week. Part of me is relieved but the other part is filled with guilt and feels sick. I took dad to his carehome 3 years ago but his dementia was so advanced I really didn't need to give him an excuse he was so trusting and accepting. I can still remember the day as if it were yesterday I cried all the way there ( with sunglasses on) and all the way home. I couldn't have felt any worse if I was taking the dog to the vets to have it put down. Mum is much more with it so will need a reason. Can you please help me as I really don't know what to tell her and when to tell her. The home want us to arrive about 11.30 to settle her before lunch. Do we tell her just before we leave her house ( it's only a 10 minute drive) or earlier in the morning and involve her in the packing. I was planning on making it sound like a temporary measure and not saying it was a carehome, more of a hotel. Mum was a geriatric nurse and worked in care homes at the end of her career. When dad went into a home she said she would kill herself if we put her in one. I am totally dreading it. Any tips for the day would be really appreciated. I've smuggled some of her clothes home to label but what else should I do/ get for her. Thank you in advance.