So Mother In Law (MIL) has vascular dementia + Alzheimers and she is 62. We noticed the signs about 4 years ago with official diagnosis 1 year ago. She has been through memory clinic, got some funding for day care 1 day a week and has medication. Me and my other half have very young children and he works long hours and shifts, so its hard for us to support her care. Her other son lives with her but works full time. We have a half hour carer visit in the morning and at night to put her to bed. Her son comes home to give her lunch. And have crossroads visit for a couple of hours one day. MIL has started leaving the house and locking herself out or wandering to elderly neighbours house. She was found in the rain in her nightie, so clearly we are scared for her safety. Her sons idea is to hide keys and lock her in, he leave the back door key so she can get in back garden. Me and my other half dont think thats acceptable. Shes left alone for longest length 7 hours. She seems to be starting to have toileting issues now, forgetting where the tissue goes after use etc. She doesnt clean, bath or shower herself. Cant cook, needs help dressing etc. Cant hold conversation anymore or remember names apart from her sons who lives with her. She cries a lot now. She had a possible blackout last week and hit her head on a cupboard and had a fit. Luckily in the presence of the morning visit carer. She was taken to hospital and admitted. Scan showed nothing really so grateful it wasnt anything huge. In hospital she wasnt using the toilet herself and having accidents a lot more, could be just because of fall or strange place maybe. She is allowed to be discharged as medically shes fine. But we have said no because we feel she now needs more care. Do you think we are right in this? We fear when shes alone that something will happen or she will wander and get lost/be dressed inappropriately for weather/season also. Her son thinks its okay to lock her in and he also handles her care with regards to showering etc. He often stays away/out overnight and on each occasion she goes into panic mode and wanders and cries. We think a care home would mean better care, not being alone, safety, on time with medications, better meal times.