Hi
I am new to this forum and fairly new to the awful world of Dementia. Not really sure how to start but here goes.
My Stepdad was diagnosed about 18 months ago and has been reasonably ok. He does have bad days but he seems to have more better days than bad ones. He isn't my problem my mother is.
I have had a bad feeling since the start of lockdown that she too has dementia but she will not listen and says that she is fine. Fast-forward to almost two weeks ago when she was admitted into hospital with which turned out to be a TIA and not a stroke as they first thought. I know that is not great news but in the grand scheme of things it was better. Anyway it took them almost two weeks to release her from hospital because they had trouble putting care in place as they felt she could not come home without it and l totally agreed with them. Whilst she was in hospital l stayed with my Stepdad and looked after him and did at least a months worth of washing and ironing as well as cooking and cleaning - not that was a problem as l was already there. They finally found her a care package and we picked her up from hospital and brought her home. She hardly looked or spoke to my Stepdad and he just looked over his glasses at her when she got home and then went back to watching TV so a very heartwarming welcome home. We got her settled and then she told us she would fine and we could go home so we left.
I called her several times the next day and when l finally got through she was very off with me and accused myself and my husband of throwing out her things which we hadn't and just yelled and said lots of horrible things so l hung up. I was really upset as we have done everything for them over the years and more so over the last year. Then she rang two days latter to have another go but this time she got my husband but that didn't stop her she just laid into him and accused him of throwing out her things which again he told her we didn't and then her final remark was he was just married to her daughter and was nothing to him. and then she hung up. My husband has taken her shopping every week since March even at stupid oclock when they had special shopping hours for the elderly and he had helped with so much more. He is the most laid back person you could meet and will help anyone out but that was uncalled for.
I have messaged from my Mum's sisters and brother as they have tried to call her but get no answer so l sent her a message asking her to call them and a little while ago she phoned me and told me that she was fine and my sister was helping her out and she has such a kind heart. My sister hasn't done anything for her this year and she even works in the supermarket my mother shops in and passes her door on her way to work and again on her way home and hasn't even offered to drop her a pint of milk and now she is the hero (sorry that sounds childish and l know l shouldn't say it but it has hurt me). My sister never helps so l don't know what is going on. I told my sister months ago l think my mum is having trouble remembering things but she just laughed, so maybe she will really see it for herself. I think it is best to just let them get on with it and keep right away if only for my sake.
Sorry for the long post but l just needed to tell someone. Thanks for reading.
I am new to this forum and fairly new to the awful world of Dementia. Not really sure how to start but here goes.
My Stepdad was diagnosed about 18 months ago and has been reasonably ok. He does have bad days but he seems to have more better days than bad ones. He isn't my problem my mother is.
I have had a bad feeling since the start of lockdown that she too has dementia but she will not listen and says that she is fine. Fast-forward to almost two weeks ago when she was admitted into hospital with which turned out to be a TIA and not a stroke as they first thought. I know that is not great news but in the grand scheme of things it was better. Anyway it took them almost two weeks to release her from hospital because they had trouble putting care in place as they felt she could not come home without it and l totally agreed with them. Whilst she was in hospital l stayed with my Stepdad and looked after him and did at least a months worth of washing and ironing as well as cooking and cleaning - not that was a problem as l was already there. They finally found her a care package and we picked her up from hospital and brought her home. She hardly looked or spoke to my Stepdad and he just looked over his glasses at her when she got home and then went back to watching TV so a very heartwarming welcome home. We got her settled and then she told us she would fine and we could go home so we left.
I called her several times the next day and when l finally got through she was very off with me and accused myself and my husband of throwing out her things which we hadn't and just yelled and said lots of horrible things so l hung up. I was really upset as we have done everything for them over the years and more so over the last year. Then she rang two days latter to have another go but this time she got my husband but that didn't stop her she just laid into him and accused him of throwing out her things which again he told her we didn't and then her final remark was he was just married to her daughter and was nothing to him. and then she hung up. My husband has taken her shopping every week since March even at stupid oclock when they had special shopping hours for the elderly and he had helped with so much more. He is the most laid back person you could meet and will help anyone out but that was uncalled for.
I have messaged from my Mum's sisters and brother as they have tried to call her but get no answer so l sent her a message asking her to call them and a little while ago she phoned me and told me that she was fine and my sister was helping her out and she has such a kind heart. My sister hasn't done anything for her this year and she even works in the supermarket my mother shops in and passes her door on her way to work and again on her way home and hasn't even offered to drop her a pint of milk and now she is the hero (sorry that sounds childish and l know l shouldn't say it but it has hurt me). My sister never helps so l don't know what is going on. I told my sister months ago l think my mum is having trouble remembering things but she just laughed, so maybe she will really see it for herself. I think it is best to just let them get on with it and keep right away if only for my sake.
Sorry for the long post but l just needed to tell someone. Thanks for reading.