Advice on what I can do

Baker17

Registered User
Mar 9, 2016
3,382
0
My husband has dementia and has been in respite care in Avery good place. Earlier this year I was truggling and our doctor advised me it was time for full time care, I contacted his cpn nurse and told her, I also can't acted the home and they were happy to have him, I met with my step son who is 51 and explained things to him, I was appointed a social worker who met me and my husband for the first time. When she met us she explained that the step son had contacted social services to say that he didn't want my husband in there as it was 30 minutes drive away, there was a interested parties meeting which was very distressing. Anyway the outcome was that even though my husband doesn't have capacity it's his human right to live where he wants and the question they asked him was 'DO YOU WANT TO LIVE ( the name of our town ) OR HERE? Of course he says the name of our town, he can't dress himself correctly in the morning so how can he decide this. I have been told I have to find somewhere else for him even though the social says the care will not be as good. I am making myself ill over this, has anyone had a same or similar experience to this?
 

Baker17

Registered User
Mar 9, 2016
3,382
0
Thanks for replying

So sorry to hear this. Do you have POA? Would your husband be self-funding? I only ask because a little more info might make it easier to advise.

I have the financial poa but not the health and welfare one, my husband is self funding at present but early November he will be in a position to have funding
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
6,064
0
Salford
Hi Baker, welcome to TP
What will happen in November when the LA start to help with the funding? The LA will only pay a certain amount for care and if the home costs more than that amount then either someone pays a top up for him or the LA may want to move him somewhere cheaper and not necessarily in the area either of you want.
I find it surprising that the wishes of the wife can be overridden by his son's and I'm not surprised the best interests meeting was distressing if this was the outcome, especially if you visit more often than his son.
It may take a while to find somewhere new, get on the waiting list and get a place, by then his funds may have run out so the LA will be paying if not straight away then quite soon after, so you should be looking for somewhere that will take the LA rate, without a top up a lot of places won't then ask his son to pay the top up.
He might think a 30 minute drive is a price worth paying compared to him paying a £200 per week top up.
If you're unwilling or unable to pay a top up and his son doesn't want to either then the choice of where he goes may be limited by the LA's budget not where his son wants him to be.
November is only about 6 weeks away so really you should really be thinking about getting the LA funding set up soon, as there seems to be a social services involvement then I'd ask the social worker what's going to happen when his funds run out and go from there.
K