I have been to the nursing home this afternoon to see my mum who is in last/severe stage of vascular dementia (5th year of illness). My husband came with me and has not been to see my mum since July last year and was quite shocked and upset to see the change and deteroriation in my mum (she was in the NH lounge) and how sad and poorly she looked. When we got home he got quite upset and related that it is was upsetting to see and feels that he may not want to visit mum again and said that our children should probably not visit any more as he feels it may be too upsetting for them. I am upset about this and would appreciate any advice at this stage as my younger daughter asks to see her grandmother often with me. I feel upset as I write this and is it normal to get this reaction?? I have a brother who visits her about twice a year but nobody else. When his own mother passed (5 years ago) she was in a nursing home I visited with him all the time and supported his family throughout and my children were much younger then.