Hello everyone,
I am new to this forum and so grateful to be able to read about the difference experiences. It is so helpful and comforting to know we’re not alone in this. My mother is being assessed but we sort of already know her problems are related to cognition due to AZ. She has to have a CAT scan and we are still waiting for an appointment. How long does this take. It’s been one month since the assessment interview took place.
My mother lives alone. She is Asian and has a basic knowledge of English. My sister and I live abroad, my brother in London. But due to the problems my mother is having, my brother has been alienated. Mum thinks my brother is scheming against her to get the house, she thinks his partner is involved and her family. She thinks people are breaking into the house all the time, even while she’s sleeping, and things are being stolen. She believes she is followed on the streets too. Now she claims to see eyes and faces appearing at her windows. Mum sleeps on the sofa (barely) and uses only downstairs. She barely goes out due to stress of being followed and break-ins and recently she thinks someone had dug in her garage. She is obsessed with her keys, has had the locks changed twice, and holds the only door key left with her at all times. She has clearly lost extra sets of keys. We are trying to speed up the assessment to have a diagnosis because mum wants to move out. She has ideas of being in a retirement flat where social outings are organised. We went to visit a retirement flat locally but she didn’t like the silence and the smell. Yes, it smelled ‘old” but it was ok, just too quiet. Get-togethers were organised apparently but only on the living room. Lease was only 70 years.
It is very stressful trying to coordinate things from abroad. Thank goodness for technology though.... Mum, however, can’t really operate her mobile phone so we can only call her landline.
Mum seems to be getting worse by the day. Her calls are desperate pleas for help, she cries a lot. We are constantly sending emails to the mental health centre for support since they are managing mum’s assessment. Apparently mum’s GP has a received the assessment report but not said anything yet. The GP changed recently. Why so much silence.? We don’t have the LPA in place but I was there during the assessment. We told everyone involved mum cannot read letters, we need to know about appointments to explain to her. Also, the previous GP did blood/urine/UTI tests, all ok. She told mum she’s fine. The mental case worker said she’s a lovely sociable lady but could have problems with thinking and perspective and then wrote cognition in the report. The problem is everyone has told mum she’s ok whilst she isn’t. They know there are dementia issues but have not explained this to her yet. So she says she feels she’s going mental but because she’s an old lady (75) nobody will listen to her. She believes everyone thinks she’s mental and is ignoring her. That is a horrible conclusion for mum to have especially because she lives alone. We ‘ve had the ambulance service over once because we were worried for her. It’s the only thing you can do from abroad. She claimed to them she was fine, not mental, and didn’t cooperate. But she wasn’t.
We are hoping to move her to somewhere more suitable but we don’t know what to look at. Mum lives in the Bexley area. If anybody has recommendations could you share, on the private conversation link if needed? We would appreciate any feedback, good or bad. I have seen options such as sheltered accommodation, care homes, nursing homes, what should we be looking at at this stage? What is appropriate for each stage? Mum has her own property, will she get any assistance? Do we have to find somewhere for her ourselves?
Sorry for the long text but we are getting desperate.
Thank you to all.
I am new to this forum and so grateful to be able to read about the difference experiences. It is so helpful and comforting to know we’re not alone in this. My mother is being assessed but we sort of already know her problems are related to cognition due to AZ. She has to have a CAT scan and we are still waiting for an appointment. How long does this take. It’s been one month since the assessment interview took place.
My mother lives alone. She is Asian and has a basic knowledge of English. My sister and I live abroad, my brother in London. But due to the problems my mother is having, my brother has been alienated. Mum thinks my brother is scheming against her to get the house, she thinks his partner is involved and her family. She thinks people are breaking into the house all the time, even while she’s sleeping, and things are being stolen. She believes she is followed on the streets too. Now she claims to see eyes and faces appearing at her windows. Mum sleeps on the sofa (barely) and uses only downstairs. She barely goes out due to stress of being followed and break-ins and recently she thinks someone had dug in her garage. She is obsessed with her keys, has had the locks changed twice, and holds the only door key left with her at all times. She has clearly lost extra sets of keys. We are trying to speed up the assessment to have a diagnosis because mum wants to move out. She has ideas of being in a retirement flat where social outings are organised. We went to visit a retirement flat locally but she didn’t like the silence and the smell. Yes, it smelled ‘old” but it was ok, just too quiet. Get-togethers were organised apparently but only on the living room. Lease was only 70 years.
It is very stressful trying to coordinate things from abroad. Thank goodness for technology though.... Mum, however, can’t really operate her mobile phone so we can only call her landline.
Mum seems to be getting worse by the day. Her calls are desperate pleas for help, she cries a lot. We are constantly sending emails to the mental health centre for support since they are managing mum’s assessment. Apparently mum’s GP has a received the assessment report but not said anything yet. The GP changed recently. Why so much silence.? We don’t have the LPA in place but I was there during the assessment. We told everyone involved mum cannot read letters, we need to know about appointments to explain to her. Also, the previous GP did blood/urine/UTI tests, all ok. She told mum she’s fine. The mental case worker said she’s a lovely sociable lady but could have problems with thinking and perspective and then wrote cognition in the report. The problem is everyone has told mum she’s ok whilst she isn’t. They know there are dementia issues but have not explained this to her yet. So she says she feels she’s going mental but because she’s an old lady (75) nobody will listen to her. She believes everyone thinks she’s mental and is ignoring her. That is a horrible conclusion for mum to have especially because she lives alone. We ‘ve had the ambulance service over once because we were worried for her. It’s the only thing you can do from abroad. She claimed to them she was fine, not mental, and didn’t cooperate. But she wasn’t.
We are hoping to move her to somewhere more suitable but we don’t know what to look at. Mum lives in the Bexley area. If anybody has recommendations could you share, on the private conversation link if needed? We would appreciate any feedback, good or bad. I have seen options such as sheltered accommodation, care homes, nursing homes, what should we be looking at at this stage? What is appropriate for each stage? Mum has her own property, will she get any assistance? Do we have to find somewhere for her ourselves?
Sorry for the long text but we are getting desperate.
Thank you to all.
