• We're currently experiencing technical issues with our newsletter software, so our Dementia Talking Point monthly updates have been put on hold for now. We hope to restart the newsletter soon.

    Find out more >here<.

Advice on respite care


Registered User
Dec 29, 2012
Hi all
Just an update - Dad had Vascular Dementia, still in his own home with care package, moderate dementia, I am a carer too; shopping, clothes washing, cleaning, appointment trips, banking etc. I work full time. I am an only child and Mum died last June so no one else to look after Dad.
In May I will be away for 7 days in the US on business. my husband and I want to have a few days holiday after that so we won't be back for 10 days. Dads sw has mentioned respite care for Dad during that trip but given no details.

Does anyone here have experience of this kind of respite care? Dad is fully funded by SS but I doubt they will pay for this. Do you have any advice?

I could do with a break, I am exhausted working full time and looking after Dad. SS haven't been very helpful up until now.
C x


Registered User
May 21, 2014
You will have to go to social services and apply for respite care. They might do a financial assessment on your Dad and ask him whether he is agreeable to go to a care home for respite. They should give you a selection of homes in the area which you ought to check out carefully before making your choice. Once you've been approved and told how much your Dad has to pay for respite, you contact the home for vacancies. Do this as soon as possible but please be advised that respite can fall through at the last minute if someone else prolongs their stay and they don't have the bed. If this happens, SS should try to find you another home.
I have no active experience of respite as I have only been given three weeks a year and haven't used them yet.
You could also ask charities like Age UK whether they have their own respite resources as they sometimes do.


Registered User
Oct 5, 2013
The problem with SS funded respite, I've heard, is that the booking will not be allowed or confirmed until just before the required date. A friend threatened to dump her mother on SS doorstep if they didn't confirm mums respite at least a month before. So get tough, and don't take no or maybe for an answer.


Registered User
Jan 30, 2009
Unfortunately respite is not something that can be guaranteed, we had experience of mum's respite being cancelled the day before she was due to go in once because of a scabies outbreak in the care home, and then it was delayed another time by a week because of norovirus in the care home. Mum has also caused other peoples respite to be cancelled because she has had to go into a care home in an emergency a couple of times.

When mum needed emergency respite another time she was found a bed somewhere that always has vacancies, and the reason it always has vacancies was obvious to me when I visited her there,,,, it wasn't nice.

Would it be possible to arrange for a carer to move in with your dad for the time you are away?


Registered User
Oct 7, 2014
If it was me I would state that I have to go away for work reasons and this is not an option if possible I would get a letter from my employer saying it is essential to the business that I go on x date. I would also say that having given them ss ,that is , fair warning you would expect them to be able to arrange respite for the dates asked for.

Sent from my iPad using Talking Point