Advice on looking after someone with altzheimers

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by janew, Apr 4, 2005.

  1. janew

    janew Registered User

    Mar 28, 2005
    I just wanted to write to thank you for all the info I have received over the last few days since I contacted TP. I thought I was dealing with these issues on my own but I have found out that a lot around the world are dealing with the same as I am.

    I care for my mum who has altzheimers. My father died 7 years ago and with no other brothers or sisters I look after mum. Social Services have been wonderful to me and with Day Care & Nursing Home care I am able to work full-time.

    There is still a lot of questions I have and just wondered if anyone could give me advice -

    1) I did read on TP about getting Power of Attorney - I got the 1st part (wrong way round - I think - through a Solicitor) which mum agreed that I could deal with her finances but now do I need to go to a Solicitor to get the final part done??

    2) My mum seems to get very tired and is often in bed by 6.30p.m. (I think she gets fed up with my company as she sees so many people at the Day Centre/Nursing home) Is this part of Altzheimers?? If she is busy and has people around this does not seem to worry her.

    I won't burden you any more (for the moment) and just want to thank you for reading this and look forward to receiving some advice.

  2. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    near London
    Hi Janew

    regarding Enduring Power of Attorney [I assume you mean EPA, not simply Power of Attorney?], basically all you need to do as far as I understand [this is what I did successfully] is to send the EPA form, together with the relevant sum of money to the Court of Protection.

    They then register it, stamp it, and return it.

    regarding tiredness, this is often due to medication - timing, type, dosage, etc. I was always told of the problem that my wife might start 'time shifting' - that is, sleeping during the day and being awake at night. I guarded against that.

    Tiredness might also be due to boredom. The problem is that the number of things they can enjoy is severely reduced as the illness progresses. It may just be a case of "nowt on TV, nothing else to do; might as well go to bed"
  3. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    West Sussex
    Hi Janey, further to what Brucie has so rightly said, take a look at our fact sheet, no. 472, it gives the address of the Public Guardianship Office which is where you apply to register, at the bottom of the last page. They have a very good helpdesk. I rang them and they talked me through it and sent me the relevant forms to register the EPA. It is not as complicated as it sounds, believe me. Once you have filled it all in, you give the notices out to the appropriate relatives and post the other part to the guardianship office with your payment. They will explain it all to you. Good luck, love She. XX
  4. thompsonsom

    thompsonsom Registered User

    Jul 4, 2004
    Hi Janey

    With regards to your mum going to bed early, from our experience i think it is probably part of the illness, we often find mum in law is ready for bed by around 7.30 just tonight she went up before the end of coronation street, it may be the security of feeling safe in her bedroom as that is her little space, we don't know but we have found it easier that she goes to bed early as it gives us time to relax.
    She did used to fall asleep during the day if just sat around watching tv but hardly ever now, but makes very little in the way of conversation.

  5. janew

    janew Registered User

    Mar 28, 2005
    thank you for the help

    yes, you are right - it is nice to have a bit of time to get things done. Last night, she had one of her difficult nights - kept getting up looking for her 'Cross & Chain' which was right by her. In the end I ignore her and she eventually gives in (about 2am) and seems to calm down but I don't really know whether this is the best thing to do or to keep getting up to her?? any more advice would be gratefully appreciated. This morning I went into her and she is as happy as ever and wouldn't know anything was wrong.

    Like everyone else you have to learn as you go along.

  6. thompsonsom

    thompsonsom Registered User

    Jul 4, 2004
    Hi janew

    We used to find mum in law would spend hours going through her bedside drawers looking for something but i don't think she really knew what it was she was looking for, probably your mum is the same and has she does not know what she is looking for she will say the thing that is recoqnisable to her in this case the cross and chain, if she is not distressed then i would leave her to her as she will probably forget eventually what she was looking for and go to sleep. if she is distressed then may be a good idea to distract her by taking her down for a cup of tea in the hope that when she goes back she will have forgot again.
    The handbag issue was the worst in and out constantly drives you insane but she doesnt seem to do it as much these days 6x a day maybe instead of 50x.

  7. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    Birmingham Hades
    Hi Janew
    My wife spends a great deal of time in the upstairs toilet,don't know what she does there.
    Sometimes she will not come down again but get into bed this can be anything 7.30-8.00.
    Othe time she will inform me that she is going to bed,and goes.
    She does not watch TV,cannot understand it,does not read.
    On the times that she sits up later she just criticises the TV programmes although she cannot understand them,she then informs me it's time to go home.
    I do not have any answers to this behavior,I don't really have any theories,I just live with it.
    Norman still very :confused: after 7 years
  8. Claire

    Claire Registered User

    Mar 31, 2004
    I was looking after my Mum, who lived with me, and working full time. Like you, I was able to continue to do so thanks to day care provision etc, although in truth not working was never an option if I wanted to keep a roof over our heads. She started going to bed early, around 7.30, after a bout of shingles, but as time went on it got earlier and earlier, so that eventually she was in bed before I got home from work. On my days off it became clear that she was going as soon as she was brought home form the day centre - sometimes as early as 4.15. At the beginning she would then be up and roaming around in the middle of the night, but as time ent on she stopped doing that. She is in a care home now, and still goes to bed very early - most of them do, although it is up to them when they go. Occasionall she will stay up late. I came to the conclusion that she felt safe in bed, and didn't have to worry about the things she couldn't understand any longer.


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