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Advice on how to manage a care home move.

PMM1485

Registered User
Dec 16, 2018
40
Hi there,
Have to accept we are now going to have to move Mum. This is her third home in two months. The first was just respite and she didn't like it. The current one she likes and is comfortable in but they can't cope with her anymore. Any advice on how to minimise the trauma of another move? Believe me we tried everything to avoid this and I know it will be so upsetting for her. We are being very careful about selecting a new home and have social services involved for a proper assessment.
Reality is though she is going to be going from a rather smart place where she is convinced she is 'on holiday' to somewhere more fitting for her needs. I appreciate what people say about the care being more important than the decor. I total get that but how do I sell that to a very fussy mum?
Any advice on what I tell her and how I manage the move to minimise stress to her would be much appreciated. The last move she was very engaged in and knew about. Unfortunately since her condition had worsened and she won't understand why things are changing.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,743
Kent
Hello @PMM1485

Do you think the staff at both care homes could facilitate the move?

I moved my mother. The staff agreed to move her and once she was there, I went to visit. Admittedly she was unaware of the change but perhaps the staff would be able to work around that if they were willing.
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
555
Hello @PMM1485 . I'm sorry that you have to move your mum but remember your previous post about it, so I suppose there is no choice and, hopefully, she will end up somewhere which will actually suit her better.

Will you be with your mum during the move (I don't know if this is even allowed at present) or will the care homes/social worker be organising it for you? Either way, I wonder if a low dose of sedative or similar might to a sensible precaution on the day to keep your mum calm.

Do you know which care home your mum will be moving to? I would hope it has some features that your mum will like which you can make a big thing of when you visit (when allowed) or speak/write to her.

I wonder if your mum will actually remember the current care home once she has moved. Hopefully the staff at the new one will have the knowledge and skills required to settle her in. One of the few good things about dementia is that the person with it rarely remembers the many traumas like we do.

If you can arrange for flowers to be put in the new room and something to make your mum feel welcome (cuddly toys on the bed, for example, if your mum may like that), it may help with first impressions.

It's difficult stuff so keep posting to let us know how it goes.