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Advice on future planning for my mum.

Talkinghead

New member
Oct 10, 2018
4
0
My mum was diagnosed a couple of years ago with mixed dementia. She seems to be going down hill quite quickly, and we’re looking at registering POA with bank re finances. She finds it hard to have a simple conversation, or recognise who people are (apart from family). In short, I feel I need to accept things will get worse, and plan for the future.
She lives 30 miles from me and I am her only family in Scotland. So would anyone recommend getting her a flat near me? I can’t really move as am single mum to 3 kids who are at school, and I work 30 hours a week.
She is managing at home, which is neat and tidy. However, don’t think she is eating too well.
My brother in New York, and I were thinking it might be about time to try to get her a little help in her own home, so she gets used to this idea when she needs it. She did have a lady who cleaned and also looked after older people.
Could she get carers- of the type just to pop in for 10 minutes a couple of times a day to check on her?
I’m kind of on my own dealing with all this, so any advice appreciated.
 

AwayWithTheFairies

Registered User
Apr 21, 2021
34
0
I only know what I’ve read on here, but I am gathering that by the time you manage to sort out this plan, you may find the goalposts have moved. Might be an idea to consider moving her to a care facility near you, not a flat - if I had 3 kids and a job and no one else to take some of the strain, I would quickly overwhelmed with mum on top of what you are already coping with.
 

SMacGregor

Registered User
Feb 11, 2021
33
0
Definitely get her nearer to you and in assisted/sheltered housing if nothing else. From experience, I can say you need to act as early as possible to make things easier for everyone concerned.
 

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
749
0
You certainly could arrange carers, if this can be paid for. If the carers would have to be has to be publicly funded the local authority will have to assess her needs and agree to fund it. If you're paying with your mother's money for care just go ahead and find a care company. I recommend a written list of carer duties otherwise they may just chat and go!
 

Talkinghead

New member
Oct 10, 2018
4
0
Thanks everyone. I’m in Scotland, so don’t know if getting carers or sheltered housing is a bit different.
 

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