I posted this initially as an add on to my other thread but thought I would start a new one as I need some advice.
I went to see mam on Friday to broach the subject of full time care and the possibility of going into a home. Thankfully she was having a good day, although initially she was reluctant to discuss it, but with some gentle persuasion she started to talk about it. I think the turning point came when I got so upset and started crying. Her maternal instinct seemed to kick in and she was comforting me and telling me not to worry. She said that she knew the time would come when she’d have to go into a home and she knew she was doing things wrong and forgetting things. She wasn’t aware however that she’d been wandering the streets. She seemed quite lucid at this point and I think it made me realise what I’d lost. I think I’ve just been so practical over the past couple of years and pushed the emotional side of things to the back of my mind and I think it just came spilling out on Friday. I’ve been very tearful all weekend. But now I’m back in practical mode to deal with the next set of problems i.e. searching for the right care home and all the problems that go with that. I just hope she doesn’t change her mind when the time comes, although I know that’s a possibility. I saw her yesterday and she wasn’t having such a good day as she thought she was going to live with my brother. She had packed up a few things and had her coat on waiting for him to pick her up. No two days are the same.
I have a question – myself and my brother have an EPA which is unregistered at the moment. I have a joint bank account and building society account with my mother. The accounts are hers but when my dad died 15 years ago she put my name down on these accounts in case she became ill and needed access to money – never dreaming that she’d get dementia though. Anyway it means I can get her pension, write cheques for her carers any work to her house, buy food and clothes etc without actually having to use the EPA. She has a couple of investments and she owns her own house which aren’t in joint names. Will I have to register the EPA now , or can I wait until I need to sell her house and cash in her investments when her savings run out to pay for her care. Or is it the case that I don’t have to register it at all. Who decides when the time is right to do so? I know from reading the posts on TP that a lot of people have problems once the EPA is registered.
Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated.
Roma x
I went to see mam on Friday to broach the subject of full time care and the possibility of going into a home. Thankfully she was having a good day, although initially she was reluctant to discuss it, but with some gentle persuasion she started to talk about it. I think the turning point came when I got so upset and started crying. Her maternal instinct seemed to kick in and she was comforting me and telling me not to worry. She said that she knew the time would come when she’d have to go into a home and she knew she was doing things wrong and forgetting things. She wasn’t aware however that she’d been wandering the streets. She seemed quite lucid at this point and I think it made me realise what I’d lost. I think I’ve just been so practical over the past couple of years and pushed the emotional side of things to the back of my mind and I think it just came spilling out on Friday. I’ve been very tearful all weekend. But now I’m back in practical mode to deal with the next set of problems i.e. searching for the right care home and all the problems that go with that. I just hope she doesn’t change her mind when the time comes, although I know that’s a possibility. I saw her yesterday and she wasn’t having such a good day as she thought she was going to live with my brother. She had packed up a few things and had her coat on waiting for him to pick her up. No two days are the same.
I have a question – myself and my brother have an EPA which is unregistered at the moment. I have a joint bank account and building society account with my mother. The accounts are hers but when my dad died 15 years ago she put my name down on these accounts in case she became ill and needed access to money – never dreaming that she’d get dementia though. Anyway it means I can get her pension, write cheques for her carers any work to her house, buy food and clothes etc without actually having to use the EPA. She has a couple of investments and she owns her own house which aren’t in joint names. Will I have to register the EPA now , or can I wait until I need to sell her house and cash in her investments when her savings run out to pay for her care. Or is it the case that I don’t have to register it at all. Who decides when the time is right to do so? I know from reading the posts on TP that a lot of people have problems once the EPA is registered.
Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated.
Roma x
