Hi
Not been here in a while but need some help. I had a fracture and that is 90 per cent better now. It was in the leg. It has now been 8 weeks and when I was still getting pain in the leg my 92 year old mother raised some concerns and asked me to see my doctor and ask for another xray. I had also suddenly been experiencing pain in the other leg not when walking but when I have been sitting down and get up I find it painful. I saw the doctor and she suggested an xray. My mother assumes that I told the doctor to get an xray done and I told my mother I did not ask her because she said she would get it done. It was the decision of the doctor not me. My mother was getting confused and assumed I had told the doctor that my mother asked if it could be xrayed again and I said no such thing but my mother would not believe me. All I said in reference to my mother was that she was concerned. From then on, my mother did not come into the conversation at all.
I am still off work because if I am still in pain and limping then obviously the doctor has to investigate and whilst the investigations are taking place I have to stay home. My mother said to me I bet when you go back to the doctor to discuss you xray she will say go back to work. I said we do not know that and knowing the doctor I doubt that she will say that if I tell her I am still getting pain in the right leg which was not the injured leg to begin with. I wondered if it is sciatica but it is not painful enough for that (not that I know anything much about sciatica). My mother is putting words into my mouth and trying to make it look as if I have said things to the doctor I have not said and she is also trying to say to me that when I go back I am not to dictate to the doctor how to treat my problem. I said I would not dream of it but my mother insisted that I was going to march into the doctors office and say this is what I think you should do etc. I would not do that.
My mother said to me it is very odd that I had no problem with the right leg to start with and then I fracture my left leg and 8 weeks later, the left leg heals and the right leg plays up and is painful. I have had to disconnect my telephone because when my mother is in this frame of mind or mood, she will keep phoning me and talking about it and I will not get any peace. When she thought I needed an xray she phoned me four times to remind me to ask the doctor for the xray. I am not a child. I do not need to be reminded over and over again like this. On the day before my appointment my mother rang me and said when you go to the doctor what are you going to say to her. I am not a ten year old child, I am a grown adult and able to go to my doctor and say the right thing but my mother has no confidence in me and thinks I will stuff up. It was the same when my mother had her own home and I went to visit her and offered to cook dinner and she said no because I would ruin her kitchen and yet I have my own home with my own kitchen and cook all sorts of dishes and have not ruined my own kitchen. My mother wants me to financially support her which I do, she also wants me to spend a lot of money to go and visit her more often and then she talks to me and treats me not like an adult but like a little girl. I do not need a mummy to tell me what to do about my own life and in fact she does not really know much about my life because she will only interfere and I could not stand that.
People keep telling me not to tell my mother thing and that way we can have a peaceful relationship so for instance if my right leg plays up, just pretend that it is ok and get it sorted without saying anything but then I cannot do that because if I say oh the fracture is healed then she will say ok its healed now so you can come and visit me. Then I will have to say no because I am getting problems with the other leg, so in some cases I cannot avoid telling my mother things and the result is arguments and confusions from her end due to her dementia. I have to now think very carefully what I say because when I said to her the doctor has signed me off work again and to anyone else that means she said I cannot go back to work, to my mother that doesn't mean that and when I told her assuming she would understand she said I am confused what do you mean.
Not been here in a while but need some help. I had a fracture and that is 90 per cent better now. It was in the leg. It has now been 8 weeks and when I was still getting pain in the leg my 92 year old mother raised some concerns and asked me to see my doctor and ask for another xray. I had also suddenly been experiencing pain in the other leg not when walking but when I have been sitting down and get up I find it painful. I saw the doctor and she suggested an xray. My mother assumes that I told the doctor to get an xray done and I told my mother I did not ask her because she said she would get it done. It was the decision of the doctor not me. My mother was getting confused and assumed I had told the doctor that my mother asked if it could be xrayed again and I said no such thing but my mother would not believe me. All I said in reference to my mother was that she was concerned. From then on, my mother did not come into the conversation at all.
I am still off work because if I am still in pain and limping then obviously the doctor has to investigate and whilst the investigations are taking place I have to stay home. My mother said to me I bet when you go back to the doctor to discuss you xray she will say go back to work. I said we do not know that and knowing the doctor I doubt that she will say that if I tell her I am still getting pain in the right leg which was not the injured leg to begin with. I wondered if it is sciatica but it is not painful enough for that (not that I know anything much about sciatica). My mother is putting words into my mouth and trying to make it look as if I have said things to the doctor I have not said and she is also trying to say to me that when I go back I am not to dictate to the doctor how to treat my problem. I said I would not dream of it but my mother insisted that I was going to march into the doctors office and say this is what I think you should do etc. I would not do that.
My mother said to me it is very odd that I had no problem with the right leg to start with and then I fracture my left leg and 8 weeks later, the left leg heals and the right leg plays up and is painful. I have had to disconnect my telephone because when my mother is in this frame of mind or mood, she will keep phoning me and talking about it and I will not get any peace. When she thought I needed an xray she phoned me four times to remind me to ask the doctor for the xray. I am not a child. I do not need to be reminded over and over again like this. On the day before my appointment my mother rang me and said when you go to the doctor what are you going to say to her. I am not a ten year old child, I am a grown adult and able to go to my doctor and say the right thing but my mother has no confidence in me and thinks I will stuff up. It was the same when my mother had her own home and I went to visit her and offered to cook dinner and she said no because I would ruin her kitchen and yet I have my own home with my own kitchen and cook all sorts of dishes and have not ruined my own kitchen. My mother wants me to financially support her which I do, she also wants me to spend a lot of money to go and visit her more often and then she talks to me and treats me not like an adult but like a little girl. I do not need a mummy to tell me what to do about my own life and in fact she does not really know much about my life because she will only interfere and I could not stand that.
People keep telling me not to tell my mother thing and that way we can have a peaceful relationship so for instance if my right leg plays up, just pretend that it is ok and get it sorted without saying anything but then I cannot do that because if I say oh the fracture is healed then she will say ok its healed now so you can come and visit me. Then I will have to say no because I am getting problems with the other leg, so in some cases I cannot avoid telling my mother things and the result is arguments and confusions from her end due to her dementia. I have to now think very carefully what I say because when I said to her the doctor has signed me off work again and to anyone else that means she said I cannot go back to work, to my mother that doesn't mean that and when I told her assuming she would understand she said I am confused what do you mean.
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