Advice needed

[angsavill]

My mother 89 has dementia still physically active, she has been in a controlling marriage for 65 years.

Via the Elderly Mental Health Team a Social Worker was appointed as my 86 year old Dad was not caring for ie reminding her to eat, taking medication etc. He has hurt her at least 4 times and we had to call the police as she said he had hit her again.

The outcome is that she can no longer live with him, there is a safe guarding report stating this. I would mention before she would ask to go back home but this time she cannot.

She is now living with me 70 miles from her home. My abusive controlling Dad refuses to divide their assets etc.

If eventually she has to move to a care home how do we go about paying for this if my Dad refuses.

I have contacted a number of solicitors but they are unable to help as this is not a divorce.

Thanks for reading

 

[nae sporran]

Hullo and a belated welcome to Talking Point, @angsavill. That is a horrible situation for you and your mum to be in, I wish I could offer some answers or better support. The best I can offer is the Alzheimers Society support line to ask for advice on what you can expect from Social Services and hopefully point you to someone more qualified than the solicitors. They open at 9 o'clock tomorrow morning and their number is 0333 150 3456
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/dementiaconnect will give you further details.

 

[Shedrech]

hello @angsavill
a warm welcome to posting on DTP

such a sad situation for your mum and you .... though it's good for your mum that she's now safe at yours

this may help explain care fees

Paying for dementia care in England

Dementia care isn't free, and you may need to pay for some of the care you or someone you know needs. We help you understand the different ways to pay for care, and the amount you might be expected to pay.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

any fees for care for your mum are paid from her income/savings only plus half any shared savings ... the marital home is disregarded as long as her spouse lives there

you may want to help her arrange LPAs so that you have legal authority as her Attorney to manage her finances ... even a spouse does not have the legal right to manage a spouse's finances, especially without permission

Make, register or end a lasting power of attorney

How to make a lasting power of attorney (LPA): starting an application online, choosing an attorney, certifying a copy, changing an LPA.

www.gov.uk

look into Attendance Allowance too

Attendance Allowance

Attendance Allowance helps pay for your personal care if you've reached State Pension age and are disabled - rates, eligibility, apply, claim form AA1.

www.gov.uk

you might find a more informed solicitor here

Solicitors for the Elderly | SFE

SFE is a national association of independent lawyers who specialise in legal services for older and vulnerable people. Find an SFE lawyer today.

sfe.legal