Hello,
I apologise in advance if this comes across as a full on moan but I just need to air my feelings & receive any feedback.
My Husband & I have moved in with my Mother in Law back in September, she has vascular dementia & has been diagnosed since August 2018. She is 86 years old.
In the evening when she has taken her pills she seems to be disoriented & not know she is at home. She also obsesses over if the house is locked up. When watching tv she asks questions like “can they see us?
I also struggle with her personal hygiene or lack of it, she hides her dirty underwear & clothes & I have to hunt them down everyday. I have found her underwear hidden in the most bizarre of places (beside the freezer & begins the sink)
She has a commode & manages to carry that downstairs & empty it every morning, however she can’t manage to take it back upstairs when she has emptied it & takes to hiding that too. You can see she is struggling to carry the pot downstairs but will not let you help her & continues with the struggle.
My Husband & I sometimes find ourselves wondering what we have done by moving in with her & I envy the people who come to visit & are able to go back to their own lives as we can’t anymore.
We own the house now as it was subject to a negative equity issue so we decided to buy it.
I feel for my Husband as he is trying to do the best by the both of us & he is stuck in a hard place. I am not as patient as him & find myself snapping a lot when she is asking constant questions all the time. He says just to ignore her but I find it hard. It has caused a couple of arguments between us already. We are fine now but I really don’t want my reactions to his Mum cause issues with our marriage.
I have read quite a lot about dementia & every case seems so different, not all experiences are the same but I just want to know are my feelings normal?
I apologise in advance if this comes across as a full on moan but I just need to air my feelings & receive any feedback.
My Husband & I have moved in with my Mother in Law back in September, she has vascular dementia & has been diagnosed since August 2018. She is 86 years old.
In the evening when she has taken her pills she seems to be disoriented & not know she is at home. She also obsesses over if the house is locked up. When watching tv she asks questions like “can they see us?
I also struggle with her personal hygiene or lack of it, she hides her dirty underwear & clothes & I have to hunt them down everyday. I have found her underwear hidden in the most bizarre of places (beside the freezer & begins the sink)
She has a commode & manages to carry that downstairs & empty it every morning, however she can’t manage to take it back upstairs when she has emptied it & takes to hiding that too. You can see she is struggling to carry the pot downstairs but will not let you help her & continues with the struggle.
My Husband & I sometimes find ourselves wondering what we have done by moving in with her & I envy the people who come to visit & are able to go back to their own lives as we can’t anymore.
We own the house now as it was subject to a negative equity issue so we decided to buy it.
I feel for my Husband as he is trying to do the best by the both of us & he is stuck in a hard place. I am not as patient as him & find myself snapping a lot when she is asking constant questions all the time. He says just to ignore her but I find it hard. It has caused a couple of arguments between us already. We are fine now but I really don’t want my reactions to his Mum cause issues with our marriage.
I have read quite a lot about dementia & every case seems so different, not all experiences are the same but I just want to know are my feelings normal?
