Advice needed please


Registered User
Apr 10, 2007
My Mother-In-Law has Alzheimers, she has no short term memory, but can talk about things that happened years ago. She has now started to become aggressive with my Father-In-Law, particularly if he leaves her for a short time, she really shouts and becomes very upset and abusive. After months of the whole family burying their heads in the sand and hoping all will go away, i really feel that action needs to be taken. Has anyone got any advice they can offer, they are both in their 80's and it is becoming increasingly difficult for my Father-In-Law to cope with her, but she refuses to leave the house, where do we start, help please.


Registered User
May 14, 2006
Dear Sue,
I think that both your mother-in-law and father-in-law need to see their GP and try to get an assessment of their needs. The GP is the first point of contact for the social services and also help from the hospital. Medication might help the situation or perhaps day care or respite care. I should imagine your father-in-law's health must be suffering by now and he urgently requires help.
I haven't been in the position of my Mum becoming aggressive, but when she was very tearful and depressed, medication did help her to become calmer. She still varies quite a lot from day to day but things seem better now.
I hope you can get help for your in-laws soon.

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hi Sue, and welcome to TP.

If your MIL is being seen by her GP, I would suggest that be your first port of call. Your husband, should be able to discuss his mother`s condition and behaviours with her GP and ask for a referral to Social Services.


Registered User
Aug 20, 2006
I agree with Kayla. The first port of call should be the GP. Has your MIL been seen by a consultant pyschiatrist, are they ever visited by the Community Psychiatric Nurse? Your FIL could also discuss the situation with the Nurse or any other health visitor.

This sounds very much like what is called "separation anxiety" - someone with dementia may latch on to a particular person and become very anxious if they are away from them and may take to following them everywhere etc. And anxiety can lead to agression.

However it sounds as though it needs a professional assessment.