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Advice needed for care and safety of my elderly mother.


Registered User
Jun 14, 2015
Hi everyone,

I am seeking some advice for the care and wellbeing of my elderly mother.

My mother will be 90 in September, she is very frail at the moment weighing under 7 stone, and was recently admitted to hospital after a fall at home. She now has a fractured pelvis and was diagnosed with dementia four years ago

She is very independent and lives on her own, in her own home, and pays for a care package having two visits a day from social workers.

My sister and I are very concerned for her safety and wellbeing if she returns home as she is frail and very weak. The toilet and bedroom are upstairs and we worry about her ability to safely cope with the stairs.

The hospital seem reluctant and evasive when we ask what their plans are for mum, but have said that they will assess her mental capacity this week.

Could any one tell us what the procedure is for her future if she is found to
(A). Have mental capacity to make her own decisions. Or
(B). NOT Have mental capacity to make her own decisions

And how we will be involved in the decision making process ?

I must state that our only concerns are that Mum is in a safe and comfortable environment, and that her remaining years are spent


Registered User
Oct 18, 2013
British Isles
My mother broke her pelvis at least a year before dementia became evident. She lived with me and I had to borrow equipment from SS such as a commode and OT team checked house and installed armchair raisers etc.

Mum had to demonstrate that she could walk up and down a couple of steps (albeit painfully) before she could be discharged to me.

I hope the hospital is giving your mum the support to get her mobile again. Have you and your sister thought about what you would want to happen, so that you can give your input at any meetings about the discharge proposals? I must admit that the staircase and upstairs bathroom were major points in my mother eventually going into a care home. Dementia, stairs and osteoporosis just don't mix.

Hope your mum is doing well and isn't in too much pain.
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Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
Hi Gerty, welcome to TP
Given the situation you describe I doubt they'll send her back to her own home without at least a substantial care package and even then I doubt it especially if she's on the radar having carers in previously.
Yes, you will (or should) be involved in the decision making process not least because the social worker will want to see if you can be involved (by which I mean roped in) to share the load somehow.
The last thing they want is to have to pick up the bill for her being put into a care home at their expense, so they will have to explore the options of; if she has the funds of her own then putting her (or strongly suggesting she is put) in a care home, keeping her in her own home with more support, seeing if you or you sister will take the job on...there are a lot of options they'll be looking at so you will have to be involved.
To be fair to the NHS hospital staff they're medical care not social care and have no more ability to second guess what the social services will do than you or me it would be wrong of them to try and tell you what will happen when they really don't know, it's not evasion its outside their domain.
To the A or B question it's a bit of a grey area, they'll go with whatever is the best solution for your Mum, medical or legal definitions are a bit of another grey area, it is a bit of a matter of doing what's best for your Mum they have a legal and professional responsibility to do that and you have your own situation.


Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
South coast
What may happen is that your mum will be funded by NHS for a 6 weeks period in a rehab wing of a CH. At the end of the 6 weeks there will be a "best interest" meeting to decide whether she is able to live at home with a care package, or what will happen.

This is what happened to mum, although it was after a TIA, but I believe it happens after a fracture too. At the best interest meeting I was able to give input to say that I was not in a position to care for mum full-time and that I would prefer her to stay at the care home where she was. This is, in fact, what was decided.