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Advice for when Mum goes into hospital

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Untamed, Jul 14, 2015.

  1. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    Fingers crossed it all goes well for you:)
  2. doodle1

    doodle1 Registered User

    May 11, 2012
    Can I just say that the book by June andrews is fantastic.such helpful advice. Please try and spend as much time at hospital as possible and be as vocal as possible in making sure the staff understand the impact of dementia.it is a completely strange place for those who have dementia and the staff often do not understand that having showed them something once they will not remember it!!
  3. Untamed

    Untamed Registered User

    Feb 28, 2014
    Well - the hip replacement went well with no complications. She also had an epidural which we all breathed a sigh of relief at. I cannot stay in the hospital as they are on virtual lock down in that particular ward - it's a super clean ortho ward which seems to be cleaned constantly. It certainly looks clean!

    The staff on Monday were brilliant and they got me and my Dad to fill in a "This is me" form and I had a long chat with the Senior Sister who was in charge of the dementia arrangements on the ward. My mum had been put in a bed close to the nurses station so they could keep an eye on her. Yesterday she was very confused and decided that all the visitors at visiting time had come to her party so she had to get out of bed and "mingle"!! Then, in a loud voice she asked who had invited them as she didn't recognise a soul! Oh lord! We then had to stop her attempting to get off bed as it was "time to go upstairs" or "we'd better get back to the hospital now before they wonder where I am". I didn't take to the ward sister of the day who was an unfeeling cow to be quite honest - absolutely no empathy for my poor father and I do wonder if she had even read that my mum had dementia. The nice Sister is back on today so hopefully things will be better...

    I had a sad time with my dad at bedtime. I found him in bed in tears, mourning the loss of his real wife and asking if she would recover mentally from this. What could I say? Only that I hoped this may be a temporary blip and her deterioration would stabilise more once she was recovering at home. I just hope that once the drugs are out of her system her confusion will calm down and that she hasn't just slid down that terrible slope rather faster than nature had been taking her before the op.
  4. Long-Suffering

    Long-Suffering Registered User

    Jul 6, 2015
    Hi Untamed,

    So glad to hear the op went well. Sorry to hear about the "unfeeling cow". I've encountered a few of those.

    Fingers crossed now that your mum will be sent home soon. TBH, in my experience, regular hospitals try to send dementia patients home ASAP because they are so hard to look after, so hopefully if she is doing well enough she'll be out soon. There is a good chance that once she is back in a familiar environment she will settle down a bit and become less confused. My dad does, though it usually takes him a week or so to readjust.

    Best of luck!

  5. Gigglemore

    Gigglemore Registered User

    Oct 18, 2013
    British Isles
    So glad the op went well - hope you all get the support you need to get your mum moving and safely in her own environment as soon as possible. Your poor dad must be so stressed by it all. Take care.
  6. Untamed

    Untamed Registered User

    Feb 28, 2014
    Mummy comes home tomorrow and she is looking forward to it immensly. My dad has cheered up no end - at the moment he is playing cricket in the garden with my 4 year old nephew!

    We have rearranged the house so my mum has a 'day bed' downstairs and she will have help to come downstairs in the morning and back up to bed in the evening, plus someone to do the chores etc. At last things are looking up.

    Mummy's confusion has settled down and she is now pretty perky in her little ward. Of course, she forgets she has to look after her new hip and the nurses have been watching her like a hawk incase she escapes her bed and heads down the corridor to the toilet!

    Thank you all for your comments and great support - it's so lovely to know there are people out there who care and are (or have) going through it - you're all bricks!!

    As for me - I'm looking forward to going home on Tuesday and seeing the family again as my job as prop is now being taken over by professionals. It seems such a long time I have hugged my husband, had a good girly night in with my daughters and chatted about combines and tractors with my son (he's an engineer!). I have also to beg forgiveness from my dog, cat, horse, 2 pigs and 2 sheep for leaving them so long!! No doubt the cat will ignore me for days!!


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