Advice for the last days please

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by Quilty, Feb 28, 2016.

  1. angecmc

    angecmc Registered User

    Dec 25, 2012
    2,109
    hertfordshire
    Thinking of you xx

    Ange
     
  2. Timeout

    Timeout Registered User

    Feb 10, 2012
    203
    Quilty, I'm only now catching up on TP, I'm so sorry to hear your mum is so poorly. I'll be thinking of you x
     
  3. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,056
    GLASGOW
    Very agitated and restless tonight, calling for her dad. She says she is not in pain. Struggling to get get her to drink tonight. Just waiting.
     
  4. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    Thinking of you and your mum each day Quilty xx
     
  5. Essie

    Essie Registered User

    Feb 11, 2015
    566
    My thoughts are with you and your Mum Quilty, sending you warm hugs xx
     
  6. jjude

    jjude Registered User

    Jan 4, 2011
    34
    England
    So sorry to be reading all,of this. I sat every night with my dad for two weeks listening to his favourite music and gently talking to him telling him repeatedly we all loved him and what a wonderful job he had done as a husband and dad, grandad etc. I did this over and over again and I like to think I helped to prepare him for his ending which was very peaceful. Like you I just knew it was imminent. I hope you find peace and I wish you well xxx
     
  7. CJinUSA

    CJinUSA Registered User

    Jan 20, 2014
    1,127
    eastern USA
    Thinking of you, Quilty, and of your mother. My mother asked about her sister (who died last year and I didn't have the heart to tell her) on the Thursday before she died on a Sunday. She said she needed the phone (which she wasn't able to use in years) because she had to call her sister.

    At the very end, my mother couldn't swallow, so I used crushed ice chips on her tongue (she was holding her mouth open at all times, despite prompting to close it). She liked that. I put lip softening cream on her dried lips. It did give her comfort.

    My heart goes out to you, Quilty. And to your mother.
     
  8. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,056
    GLASGOW
    Mum slipped away this morning in her sleep

    I got the call to say my Mum had passed in her sleep. She went very peacefully and quietly and gave us no warning. I just cant believe yet that she is gone and I dont know what I am going to do with myself. Mum has consumed every spare moment and spare thought for 5 years.

    To all my TP friends I big thanks. You have been true friends when friends who understood what I was going through could not be found.

    So, my long walk as a carer is over. We walked to the light together my Mum and I and we have said goodbye. I now walk back alone but I can stop and look around me now. I do not regret making this journey.

    As my darling Dad taught me - I did my best, and it was enough. She is now at peace, no longer weak, confused and afraid for the future.
     
  9. Roses40

    Roses40 Registered User

    Jan 25, 2015
    473
    manchester
    My deepest condolances to you at this surreal time. I wish you strength in the coming days x
     
  10. jorgieporgie

    jorgieporgie Registered User

    Mar 2, 2016
    1,985
    YORKSHIRE
    Sorry for your pain Quilty all you can do is what you have been doing all this time taking good care of her. Keep strong and God Bless you both xx
     
  11. Essie

    Essie Registered User

    Feb 11, 2015
    566
    #51 Essie, Mar 16, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2016
    Heartfelt condolences Quilty, you have put it beautifully, you walked all the way to the end with Mum, held her hand and gave love and comfort and no one can do or say more than that.

    This is indeed a strange time, more unreal than real for a while I think. So pleased to hear that Mum slipped away so peacefully, at the end that is all we can wish for.

    Take things slowly now, there is no right or wrong just be however you need to be.

    Hugs Quilty xxx
     
  12. beverrino

    beverrino Registered User

    Jan 12, 2015
    1,111
    so sorry to read this Quilty. You have been such a wonderful daughter and I am sure your mum was glad you were there helping her every step of the way.
    bless you, sending hugs and thinking of you.
    wishing you the strength to get you through the next steps. All your friends here at TP will be thinking of you.
    Take care, look after yourself xxx
     
  13. jorgieporgie

    jorgieporgie Registered User

    Mar 2, 2016
    1,985
    YORKSHIRE
    Deepest Sympathy Quilty,
    Payers go out to you and your Mum, God Bless.xx
     
  14. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    Sending you an absolutely enormous HUG xxxx
     
  15. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,728
    Yorkshire
    much sympathy Quilty
    your mum's end was peace
    be kind and gentle to yourself now as you were for her
     
  16. Crunchy

    Crunchy Registered User

    Feb 21, 2016
    42
    Sorry to hear your sad news, but happy she passed away so peacefully, you did everything right, now begins the processing of it all, it's such a strange stage of life. Have another big hug xxx
     
  17. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,862
    Female
    South coast
    The vigil is over - you have walked with her all the way.
    (((hugs)))
     
  18. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,094
    Kent
    You certainly did your best Quilty. My condolences.
     
  19. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,478
    Ireland
    You couldn't have done more, Quilty. Sorry for your loss of your mum, but glad for your mum's sake that she is now at peace, and that she had a quiet and peaceful passing. Time for a rest for you now.
     
  20. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,963
    North East England
    You did a wonderful thing, walking your Mum home and letting her go on ahead. This was as it should be, peaceful.
    Now take your time to re-discover the world around you.
    With sympathy for your loss.....Maureen.x.x.
     

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