advice for new carer

[nirinjan]

I know a 21 year old who's dad has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's ( I think he is going for more tests next week). There is nobody else in the family in a position to care for him. She does not know what to do and she feels alone a too young. What is the best thing for her to do now? Who can she talk to?

 

[Redpoppy]

Somebody more knowledgable than I, will reply to your post shortly with advice for this young person.I have found answers to many of my problems here on talking point,and hope she finds and gets all the support she will be needing.Such a responsibility for one so young.

 

[nirinjan]

thanks

Somebody more knowledgable than I, will reply to your post shortly with advice for this young person.I have found answers to many of my problems here on talking point,and hope she finds and gets all the support she will be needing.Such a responsibility for one so young.

You are right, a big responsibility am sure there must be loads of support

 

[jenniferpa]

Hmm. She (and you) do understand that while she may want to care for him, she doesn't have to? That is, no adult can be forced to care for another person. I think I would be encouraging her to get social services involved in order to provide necessary care: I would have been horrified if a child of mine had to care for me at this age (not too delighted if they had to care for me even if older, tbh.).

 

[Pickles53]

Hmm. She (and you) do understand that while she may want to care for him, she doesn't have to? That is, no adult can be forced to care for another person. I think I would be encouraging her to get social services involved in order to provide necessary care: I would have been horrified if a child of mine had to care for me at this age (not too delighted if they had to care for me even if older, tbh.).

Me too Jennifer. I think this young lady needs advice and support to put the right care in place for her dad, but nobody, least of all herself, should expect her to take it on personally. I don't believe her dad would want that either.

 

[BeckyJan]

I suggest she telephones the local Alzheimer's Society - the local branch can be found here (not to worry if they seem a distance away as they tend to cover wide areas).
http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents.php?categoryID=200121

Some of the branches have Dementia Support Workers and if one could get to know this gentleman and his daughter, she may well find the local advice she needs. She should also keep her own GP aware of the problems she has along with the Mental Health Consultant and of course, Social Services.

I also suggest that this person does not accept that she has to do all the practical caring. For this she will probably have to accept that SS will need to do an assessment (both sufferer and carer are eligible for these). She may also have to accept a financial assessment which would cover just her father's financial situation.
The factsheet explains.
http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=131

She should also seriously consider getting POA for her Father unless he has already done this. Although this is not easy it will be invaluable when her Father is less able to deal with his own affairs.

I hope that helps. Best wishes

 

[jaymor]

The fact that the young lady is still in education is another reason why full care should not be on her shoulders.

Lots of good advice as where to source help has been given and we can't forget that very personal care comes into caring and a young girl should not be expected to carry out this care for her Father should he need it.

She can certainly help him and support him but not take responsibility for everything.

 

[nirinjan]

thanks

Thank you everyone, I will pass on this useful advice.