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Advice for my mum who has dementia

Charlie100

Registered User
Sep 1, 2015
3
My Dad died suddenly 2 weeks ago and was my Mums carer. We are all supporting her and doing a rota for sleeping as she is afraid of the dark, shadows!! We have the funeral this Thursday how do you think she will manage. I'm worried about her well being. thanks
Charlie100
 

Di Lavers

Registered User
Jun 27, 2012
21
Hythe, Southampton
funerals

My mum refused point blank to get out of bed for my brother funeral. I have taken her to two others and she reacted differently to both. Does she realise he has died? It can be difficult for everyone. My condolences for your recent loss. Diana
 

Charlie100

Registered User
Sep 1, 2015
3
Mum and realising who had died

My mum refused point blank to get out of bed for my brother funeral. I have taken her to two others and she reacted differently to both. Does she realise he has died? It can be difficult for everyone. My condolences for your recent loss. Diana
Mum didn't realise it was her husband for first 3 days she thought it was her Dad, I was on holiday and arrived 2 days after he had died, we think maybe because I wasn't there it couldn't be him because I was not there when it happened. She now realises and last few days has had a few tears but nothing like I would have thought she would.
Thanks for your post.
Sorry to hear about you Mum it's so tough watching them like this xx
Charlie100
 

Dazmum

Registered User
Jul 10, 2011
10,314
Horsham, West Sussex
Hello Charlie, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad.

My dad died three years ago, and although we told my mum and she was of course, very upset at the time, didn't remember that he was gone. I took the decision not to keep telling her as it would come as a shock and upset her anew every time.

On the day of his funeral she had to be told again, but by the time we got to the service I think she had forgotten again and wasn't overly upset. Afterwards, she enjoyed seeing all of the family, they didn't crowd her but came to chat, and afterwards she said she had had a lovely time..... so really, you have to go with your instinct and how your mum is, as you know her best. I found it more stressful I think, being upset myself and worried that mum would be too, but I was relieved afterwards as she seemed to cope well, probably because she couldn't remember. Had she not had AZ she would have been dreadfully upset, they had been married for 64 years :(

I would see how your mum is and if she is too confused and worried, then take her home. This may be worse later in the day if she is 'sundowning'.

I hope all goes as well as it can for you all. Thinking of you xxx