My father in law has had dementia for a few years now and is at the stage where his short term memory is fading and he doesn't know who my MIL is quite often now and refuses to believe that she is his wife, they have been married for 60 years so it is quite upsetting for my MIL who is 80 years old to deal with that. They live quite far away and my FIL is becoming quite frail, he falls asleep suddenly and is incontinent a lot of the time and struggles with physical movement, lifting his legs, walking any type of distance and leans forward when he is sitting and cannot remain upright when standing and also has Parkinsons in his hands and my MIL is a teeny lady who is not able to physically stop him from falling and is having to help him with his dressing and personal care nearly 24/7. My FIL is refusing to have home help and also refuses to move to any type of assisted living facility although my MIL says she is willing and we really think she could do with a break and would like to move with her husband while he is still at times lucid. He hallucinates that my partner and his sister are still living with him as children (my partner is 55) and just today I saw him put his arms out in front of him as if to hug a child and he said he wanted to say goodbye to his grandson as we were leaving, his grandson is 25 and was not with us. He often starts to talk about random things that make no sense at all and it is quite distressing watching him struggle to make sense of what he is trying to say. He can walk short distances (shuffle) but as he does so he begins to bend over forward and begins to pick up speed if he is not held back by someone holding onto him and today he nearly toppled over but I caught him just in time. I just don't know what to do, it's so sad and hard to watch him fade away and we really need to help him before it becomes a crisis decision but he is very proud and refuses to accept much help from anyone. He is really good with me as I always try to make him laugh and give him lots of love and attention when I am with him but my MIL says he is beginning to get nasty with her, shouting and lashing out and that makes me afraid for her as she is so little compared to him and I don't know what he might do next. If anyone has any advice for us it would be so much appreciated as we really don't know anything about the next steps and what the law is. My partner has POA with regards to property and financials but not regarding welfare, I'm not sure whether my FIL will grant him welfare either. Many thanks and sorry for the long message.