We first discovered my mother had Alzheimers after my father died in 1999. We then discovered her memory problems and suspected my father had covered up for her, recognising the early symptoms. One or two comments he made on his death bed fell into place later but were not understood at the time.( It is hard to write this as my eyes are bleary. It is not often you recount the details.) At first she was part of the research project at the Brace Centre in Bristol and was on medication which I now recognise considerably slowed the progress of the disease. She was living alone at the time in her own home in Bristol and I lived about 10 minutes away, and despite her having a home help most days I had to call 2 or 3 times a day to make sure she took her medication. I was also working at the time.Eventually she herself became so worried about her distress and inability to cope with even the most menial of tasks that she decided she needed to be looked after. Her state of awareness at the time was such that I knew that she would not be able to allow herself to be looked after by me and we found a very nice residential home close by where in more lucid moments she has said she is very happy. As she sold her home she was paying privately at first but the proceeds of her flat were only modest and the LA have now taken over the payments I have had to move further away and live about 35 minutes away up the motorway in Gloucestershire. They eventually decided the medication was probably doing more harm than good by heightening her awareness of her own incapacity and stopped it about 6 months ago. She was recently admitted to hospital following a collapse and was diagnosed with a clot on her lung(a pulminary embolism). She now therefore has regular blood tests to monitor the oxygen levels in her blood and takes wolferin. Since her spell in hospital her mental condition has deteriorated quite alarmingly. I think perhaps that had something to do with the lack of oxygen to her brain. So much so that the residental home has now indicated that they are not sure how much longer they can continue to meet her needs. I have been looking at nursing homes and specialist dementia homes closer to where I live but the problem, as so often is the case, is funding to get her into one of the best homes available and naturally I want the best for her. Social Services are presently unwilling to say she has EMI nursing needs but say she is EMI residential so that limits choices considerably but her condition is changing almost on a daily basis. Rather than accept second best I have started to consider caring for her at home. I gave up my job about a year ago, with my husband's support(I think!) as it was a very stressful job and as well as mum in a home in Bristol, I had a spinster aunt who had no one but me, in a Nursing home in Weston s mare.She was not suffering from dementia but in her 90 s and getting increasingly more frail. Just as well I did as this year I have had both of them in hospital at the smme time and in separate hospitals 20 miles apart from each other!My aunt has since died and I am now dealing with her estate. Rather than accept 2nd best for mum one of the options I am considering is for her to come and live with me here. There is accommodation which would be suitable with relatively few adaptions necessary. I realise it would be a huge committment and would like to hear from anyone else who has had a similar experience before I make up my mind finally. I do not want to recriminate myself at a later date for not taking up this option without fully considering it and I don't know where to turn for help. On this matter I know my husband supports me. He wants the best for her as I do. I have 2 grown up daughters one of whom lives abroad but the other lives in Bristol and I will need her support I know as I have no brothers or sisters now living. I know I will need to find out from the LA what financial and practical help would be available but I should be glad to hear from anyone about the emotional consequences etc. and what practical help was available to them. I do not think I have ever had to make such a huge decision with so little knowledge or help and am at my wits end.