Advice about care homes


Registered User
May 10, 2004
My dad who is 81 has been diagnosed with AD and is presently in hospital where his medication is being stabilised (he also has Diabetes).

We had a meeting today at the hospital with themedical staff and sicial services to decide where he will go next and it was generally decided that he would not be going home as my mum would be unable to cope with him alone.

The social worker say's she will be looking for a suitable placement for him. When I asked her about the cost she said that he will have a financial assessment. I would be grateful for any advice or experiences anyone has had in this area.


Registered User
Oct 16, 2003

Hi Beth

Its a long time since i have posted on the board although i have always read everyone's postings, ( I am ashamed to say the caring got the better of me and I cracked) My family are at the point where we are having to look at full time care homes for mum-in-law and also stepping into the dreaded minefield of financial assessments. our scenario is as follows, Mum owns her home jointly with my brother in law and therefore she is classed as having assests which must be used for her care home costs, we as a family (including my brother in law who owns half) have always said when the time came for us to place mum into care the house would be sold without hesitation and mums share would be secured in a bank account to pay the fees. But alas as we expected because Mum was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia and therefore unable to validate any legal documents the whole process takes a daunting turn. We have now had to involve solicitors who will do the neccessary work required through the Court of Protection to enable us to sell the house and release the funds. As mums dementia "crept up on us" we never thought to put any relevant paperwork into place regarding the future of her assests. We are now told that we are in catch 22 because until we can fund a care home we cant request a place, we cant fund a care home until we sell the house, we cant sell the house until the Court of Protection says we can and the solicitor has advised us that it could be December before th C.O.P has it sorted out and it could then be 8-10 weeks (at least) before we can sell so i dont know what we will do if Mums dementia detiorates any worse that it already is. I dont know if it is any "easier" if your parent does not have "assets" or if their are different rules if the house is shared with a spouse (apparently if a spouse still has to live in the family home you have some rights regarding selling it) because it is my brother in law that is joint tenant with mum he has been told he has no right to stay in the family home. To say it is a minefield is an understatement, i have spent many many hours at various establishments like Social Services, CIB, Solicitors etc i have filled more forms in this last few weeks than i have ever filled in during my whole life and always come away more confused than the previous visit.

good luck



Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
near London
Hi Cathy

"I am ashamed to say the caring got the better of me and I cracked"

Good grief, why be ashamed? I'd venture a guess that almost everyone in this situation has cracked to a lesser of greater extent at some time or another!

Fortunately, we are stronger than we often give ourselves credit for, and your post here shows clearly that you are strong.

What a situation, though!

My first suggestion would be to explore whether your Mum's condition might get Continuing Care funding, which would mean no house sale would be needed as all costs would be covered.

Regarding the need to sell property, there's just one clarification I would make.

You say "if their are different rules if the house is shared with a spouse (apparently if a spouse still has to live in the family home you have some rights regarding selling it) "

My understanding is that if the spouse is living in the jointly owned home, then it is not taken into account for funding purposes. If the spouse decides to sell the property and care funding is needed, then half the equity will be grabbed.

Very best wishes for a good solution to your problems!


Registered User
Oct 17, 2003

These rules are complicated indeed but my understanding is somewhat different. I am in a similar situation in that my husband and myself own the house 3 ways with my Mum, she is now in care. My understanding is that if a house is owned jointly then Social Sercvices can disregard the value when looking at assets because the resale value would be worthless, i.e who would want to buy a part share in a house, they can certainly not force a sale. Even if the house is not jointly owned but someone else lives their they can use discretion i.e if it is a carer over 60 or a dependant family member. I have COP for Mum, her fees are paid out of pension and a small amount of capital. When the capital reaches £20,000 Social Services will fund with contributions from Mum and I believe when the capital reaches £12,000 they will fund fully. The documents that I have from my council also say that you can find a place in a home before having funding sorted out and that a dispute over funding should not prevent you from taking a plave in your prefered home. Can I suggest getting in touch with an organisation called the Welfare Rights Service who give independant advcie into thei kind of thing, also Age Concern and Help the Aged have excellent information sheets and also advocacy services to fight your vorner on fees and the like. I wish you luck,