1. chick1962

    chick1962 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2014
    11,282
    Female
    near Folkestone
    Today my Admiral nurse is coming round. I am a bit nervous as there are certain things I would like to discuss with her , like getting a care plan into place just incase I need to go to hospital and maybe some help towards the care of John. I also woul like to chat with her about johns recent changes but don't really want to say things in front of my lovely man!! How do you get around this? John has good/bad days and he might be fairly good today. I noticed lately that he gets frustrated and moody and always criticising every thing I do? He reminds me of a teenager ( don't mean that badly ) who argues and back chats all the time about anything and nothing. Guess we entering a new phase of this journey! Nights are the worst but john can't really see that anymore as he forgets. So how can I tell her all this without John knowing? Is there anything else I got to mention? Feeling very guilty too like I am letting him down . Advise would be appreciated


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  2. CeliaW

    CeliaW Registered User

    Jan 29, 2009
    5,643
    Hampshire
    Hello chick - maybe write down your concerns and email them or at least print off to hand to her discretely. She will be well used to the difficulties you mention and may be willing to discuss things by email in the future as well if it would be easier than discussing in John's hearing. And you are not letting him down but taking steps to make sure he can have the best care possible - which includes getting you support to care for him. Good luck, I hope it will be easier than you expect but appreciate it's another step on the journey you would prefer not to need to take x
     
  3. chick1962

    chick1962 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2014
    11,282
    Female
    near Folkestone
    Thank you , I haven't got her e mail address yet but will ask her for it today ! Initially when John got diagnosed 4 years ago , we saw admiral nurse but not since then. I will write it down on a piece of paper for her but it feels kind of wrong . John can still be aware of a few things depending on the day and is physical fit apart from walking with a stick. He is sleeping more during the afternoon though


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  4. lin1

    lin1 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2010
    9,320
    Female
    East Kent
    Hello Chick 1962.
    I am glad to hear you have a visit from an Admiral nurse.
    Please don't feel guilty, hard I know. You are most certainly not letting John down , far from it !!!

    My Admiral nurse, helped to keep me sane ! had more info and understanding about dementia and life as a carer in her little finger than some professionals had in there whole body, she also helped me in a sew fights too.

    I am pretty sure s/he will understand how hard, in fact impossible it will be to talk frankly in front of John. She may well have a few ideas how to help you be able to talk.

    I suggest you write her a note about how difficult it is for you to talk, and write things that you will find difficult to say in front of John and give it to her as soon as you have the opportunity .
     
  5. chick1962

    chick1962 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2014
    11,282
    Female
    near Folkestone
    Thank you lin1. Paula, admiral nurse was very understanding on phone, and you are right in what you are saying! It just feels wrong somehow. Its the nights which are very hard as John wakes 3 to 5 times a night. Well hopefully the visit will be a good one:) I see you live in Herne Bay :D I am in Romney Marsh, just round the corner and a bit lol x
     
  6. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    2,635
    Kent
    Hello chick l hope all goes well with your visit from Admiral Nurse, our memory clinic has Admiral Nurses, so we are very lucky, l am not too far from you, Maidstone, l used to feel awful talking to our Dr. about my hubby, so email him, but now l have noticed talking to friends he doesn't know what l am talking about, as he can not absorb any information, let us know how you get on. ♡♡♡
     
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,850
    Kent
    Hello Chick

    My Admiral Nurse agreed to talk to me in the kitchen. I told my husband she was coming to help me and he was so antisocial he was happy to stay out of the way.

    There was also one time when I desperately needed help and she met me at the local Age Concern [Age UK] day centre.

    When she arrives , try to get her to accompany you into the kitchen `to make a drink` and take it from there.

    Good luck.
     
  8. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,900
    Female
    Dundee
    We don't have admiral nurses in Scotland but I have contacted them by email and they were extremely helpful. I always used to write down my concerns and comments for the memory clinic so that I didn't have to talk about Bill in front of him. I'm sure your admiral nurse could have a quick read through anything you write before she talks to you both. Maybe John could help you make a cup of tea while she reads it so he's out of the way? Don't feel guilty all you do is to make things the best they can be for John. x
     
  9. chick1962

    chick1962 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2014
    11,282
    Female
    near Folkestone
    Thank you pamann, love shopping in Maidstone ;) John still understands so will have to be careful as not to upset him bless but I do need to talk with someone mainly for reassurance which we all need from time to time. Maybe they have advise how to deal with certain things better and I heard on here that there is a carers course which I would like to participate in . Appointment is at 3 pm so will let you know later how I got on x


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  10. lin1

    lin1 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2010
    9,320
    Female
    East Kent
    Let us know how you get on.

    We're nearly neighbours :D
     
  11. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,725
    North Somerset
    Hope all goes well, chick. Xx

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  12. lin1

    lin1 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2010
    9,320
    Female
    East Kent
    Izzy
    The bolding is mine.
    According to an Email I received about two months ago ,It is likely that in the near future you will have 1 Admiral nurse in Scotland.
    I know its not enough but at least its a start.
     
  13. chick1962

    chick1962 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2014
    11,282
    Female
    near Folkestone
    Ooo good plan Grannieg:) thank you ! I will do that . Maybe meetings in future could be arranged somewhere else x


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  14. chick1962

    chick1962 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2014
    11,282
    Female
    near Folkestone
    Thank you Verity ! Hope you have a lovely day too . Been reading your threads and see you had cherish visits to Fred that's so good to read :)


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  15. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,900
    Female
    Dundee
    Interesting. As you say - a start!:rolleyes:
     
  16. chick1962

    chick1962 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2014
    11,282
    Female
    near Folkestone
    Well it's nearly time, have written everything down! Wish me luck !


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  17. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,850
    Kent
    Good luck. It will be interesting to know what is now available for you. I feel out of date now . :)
     
  18. chick1962

    chick1962 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2014
    11,282
    Female
    near Folkestone
    She's just left and was lovely :) felt great to talk with her and she will speak with psychology to find out better ways for Johns sleeping and coping with his frustrations and will come back with SS to look out for me while they get care plan and assessments into place she will also get carers support on board which are a charity. Feel so much better ! Oh and she's coming back in 2 weeks to see how I am . They have 13 admiral nurses in Kent. Didn't know we had that many . Mind I did not know about most of the things available ! I can so recommend talking to them xx


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  19. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,900
    Female
    Dundee
    That sounds very positive Chick!:)
     
  20. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,725
    North Somerset
    Sounds good to me, chick.

    Sent from my GT-N5110
     

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