Dear All,
In brief, I'd welcome thoughts on:
1. how you coped with the transition of moving your loved one to a carehome and any toptips
2. if/how you helped them cope with the transition and whether you tried to explain anything beforehand?
I've outlined more below:
Mum's condition has deteriorated over the summer to the point where my dad can no longer care for her at home. I've been able to spend some draining but precious time with her over the last month, feeling the irony of the physical proximity her increased nursing needs entail, at the same time as she becomes so much more distant from us.
We've managed to find a residential home we feel comfortable with, and she moves in next Monday (and will hopfully stay there for the rest of her life). It's similar to a home she's gone to a couple of times for respite care at weekends.
A couple of people have said to me 'how are you going to prepare her?' and I would welcome any advice or experiences along these lines.
As her close family, we've noticed something that could be construed as some sort of readiness to move, or recognition that her needs are beyond us: she's increasingly confused about where her home is, and how many people share it (perhaps as a result of respite experiences) and often suggests it's time she went home to her mother. (This could also be understood as part of the regression).
If we were to try to tell her what's about to happen, I can imagine she would be very distressed and then forget what we'd said. I feel it'll be easier to reassure her of the positives - our continuing love, presence, the care provided for her - once she's in situ, but I'm not sure how much she'll register the change. It's very hard to judge.
We've been putting together a photoalbum visitors can look at with her of family and friends, though she finds it increasingly hard to focus on such detail.
Helen
In brief, I'd welcome thoughts on:
1. how you coped with the transition of moving your loved one to a carehome and any toptips
2. if/how you helped them cope with the transition and whether you tried to explain anything beforehand?
I've outlined more below:
Mum's condition has deteriorated over the summer to the point where my dad can no longer care for her at home. I've been able to spend some draining but precious time with her over the last month, feeling the irony of the physical proximity her increased nursing needs entail, at the same time as she becomes so much more distant from us.
We've managed to find a residential home we feel comfortable with, and she moves in next Monday (and will hopfully stay there for the rest of her life). It's similar to a home she's gone to a couple of times for respite care at weekends.
A couple of people have said to me 'how are you going to prepare her?' and I would welcome any advice or experiences along these lines.
As her close family, we've noticed something that could be construed as some sort of readiness to move, or recognition that her needs are beyond us: she's increasingly confused about where her home is, and how many people share it (perhaps as a result of respite experiences) and often suggests it's time she went home to her mother. (This could also be understood as part of the regression).
If we were to try to tell her what's about to happen, I can imagine she would be very distressed and then forget what we'd said. I feel it'll be easier to reassure her of the positives - our continuing love, presence, the care provided for her - once she's in situ, but I'm not sure how much she'll register the change. It's very hard to judge.
We've been putting together a photoalbum visitors can look at with her of family and friends, though she finds it increasingly hard to focus on such detail.
Helen