Felt I had to share this! Last night I took a phone call from my brother. His first words were: "she's got right on my nerves today." The "she" in question was our mum. He then regaled me with news of their shopping trip.
I must admit to having a wry smile on my face as I sipped my wine from the comfort of my sofa. A sofa I don't often sit on at weekends, because I'm often with mum. I tried to explain to bro (a man who has, only in the last few months, taken an 'interest' because of my constant prodding), that he needs to adapt to mum's ways. That becoming impatient with her (especially whilst shopping) is counterproductive. I had explained before their trip the tactics I used to keep my own blood pressure down. He took no notice. He said she was obstinate, 'all over the place' and shouting. Of course, he didn't check what she needed, he didn't write a list to which he could point her to. When she told him she thought she'd forgotten her glasses, he said "you don't need them, I can see for you." (How awful, for her).
After I'd welcomed him to the revolution (sorry if this sounds gloating, but as I said to him on the phone I've had to deal with this for over 12 months now), I rang mum. And what an enlightening phone call it was.
She told me that yes, they'd been shopping. That she felt rushed (not like she does when I'm with her ... tactics, you see). She became flustered and unable to cope with what she needed to do ... probably explains why she bought 100 ciggies! That going shopping with him left her feeling unsure.
On occasion, mum does have an amazing insight into her illness - this was one of them. She managed to recount some of the things she'd bought. I bade her a good evening and finished my wine!
What the conversations proved to me last night is that in the early stages of this disease, we as carers need to adapt our behaviour (as difficult as that is) to the needs of the sufferer. It's taken me a long time and I'm not there yet, but I have a grasp of the basics. Perhaps my sibling, who has had little involvement with mum, went to bed last night with a different perspective ... or maybe not.
Whatever, I felt proud of my mum. I think on this occasion, it was definitely six of one and half a dozen of the other!
I must admit to having a wry smile on my face as I sipped my wine from the comfort of my sofa. A sofa I don't often sit on at weekends, because I'm often with mum. I tried to explain to bro (a man who has, only in the last few months, taken an 'interest' because of my constant prodding), that he needs to adapt to mum's ways. That becoming impatient with her (especially whilst shopping) is counterproductive. I had explained before their trip the tactics I used to keep my own blood pressure down. He took no notice. He said she was obstinate, 'all over the place' and shouting. Of course, he didn't check what she needed, he didn't write a list to which he could point her to. When she told him she thought she'd forgotten her glasses, he said "you don't need them, I can see for you." (How awful, for her).
After I'd welcomed him to the revolution (sorry if this sounds gloating, but as I said to him on the phone I've had to deal with this for over 12 months now), I rang mum. And what an enlightening phone call it was.
She told me that yes, they'd been shopping. That she felt rushed (not like she does when I'm with her ... tactics, you see). She became flustered and unable to cope with what she needed to do ... probably explains why she bought 100 ciggies! That going shopping with him left her feeling unsure.
On occasion, mum does have an amazing insight into her illness - this was one of them. She managed to recount some of the things she'd bought. I bade her a good evening and finished my wine!
What the conversations proved to me last night is that in the early stages of this disease, we as carers need to adapt our behaviour (as difficult as that is) to the needs of the sufferer. It's taken me a long time and I'm not there yet, but I have a grasp of the basics. Perhaps my sibling, who has had little involvement with mum, went to bed last night with a different perspective ... or maybe not.
Whatever, I felt proud of my mum. I think on this occasion, it was definitely six of one and half a dozen of the other!
