AD remarrying?!
- Thread starter Barby
- Start date
This is a new one to me Barb. In Ken's EMI unit an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady are inseperable. They hold hands and trot around together all day long. The family of the lady do not like this and the staff often gently try to separate them, especially when 'toilet time ' is in progress. I spoke to the lady's daughter who told me the reason for the attachment is that the elderly gentleman looks very much like her father, the elderly lady's husband who died many years ago.
Not sure what you mean by the pension issue? Can you clarify please.
xxTinaT
Not sure what you mean by the pension issue? Can you clarify please.
xxTinaT
Barby - do you mean your father decided to marry so that his pension would continue to be paid to someone? This strikes me as another form of money obsession which most of us have encountered: in his case it seems to have taken the form of making sure that whoever was paying the pension was going to have to pay it as long as possible. Of course, not all pensions offer the right of survivor benefits.
Yes
My mother made endless plans to remarry...anyone!! Not sure why...we used think it would have been funny for my OWN psrtner to marry her and therefore presumably be entitled to live in her bungalow and prevent its sale.. which happened two years ago now.
We were only wondering the other day is this would have actually worked!
she is well past that stage now although I have noticed she still seems to react much more positivly to men than women.
My mother made endless plans to remarry...anyone!! Not sure why...we used think it would have been funny for my OWN psrtner to marry her and therefore presumably be entitled to live in her bungalow and prevent its sale.. which happened two years ago now.
We were only wondering the other day is this would have actually worked!
she is well past that stage now although I have noticed she still seems to react much more positivly to men than women.
Most pensions can't be re-allocated to a new partner after retirement. The person named as the dependant at the time of retirement gets the survivor's pension.
But more importantly, in order to marry one has to be "of sound mind" - sufficiently to understand the nature of the contract being entered into. I doubt that anyone would carry out the marriage for a diagnosed Alzheimer's patient in full nursing care.
But more importantly, in order to marry one has to be "of sound mind" - sufficiently to understand the nature of the contract being entered into. I doubt that anyone would carry out the marriage for a diagnosed Alzheimer's patient in full nursing care.
That makes sense about the pension allocation. Mind you, we've had a discussion on here before about competence to enter into marriage, and it seems that you don't have to be as competent for this specific contract as you might have to be for others. Strange, but true.
Barby - are you by any change not in the UK? Because laws may be different.
Barby - are you by any change not in the UK? Because laws may be different.
So is my mother, but with my mother he has to be good looking
I never like the thought of it , because mum had 55 years with my father, I suppose its something we don't think of with our parents having sexual needs . I would say it was natural , as even some people who do not have a dementia, would like to remarry to have companionship with someone in there elderly years like are parents are in .
We are mental program from childhood that we need a partner, so why would it change just because someone got a Dementia.
So that why in a care home , they have to be careful, because would the person be cognitively albe to consent to sex , or would it be sex abuse.
Thanks for your replies, I am in the UK. My father (actually he's my father in law) asked 4 people, including me to marry him within a year of my mother in law dying. As his new wife has just died he's still hankering about passing on his pension!
regards
Barby
regards
Barby
I suppose you have already told him to try stop worrying
maybe it’s just something he needs to get of his chest, as he keeps going on about it ,
Sounds like he must have been a proud hard working man (was he? ) Then presume he work hard to provide for the wife , also so if he passes way his wife would have been finically secure with his pension, as she may have not work full time like him .
Back in that day I suppose the benefits where that the wife keep the husband pension when the man passes away as a lot of woman back in those days never use to work ,Must still be the same now.
I suppose that it must be hard to except that his wife pass away first, that’s not going to happen so the government keeps it
I am doing a lot of presuming as I am presuming your FIL is over 65 70 – 80 +
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AD remarrying
My FIL is 88 we think he had early stage AD when his first wife died as he straight away looked for a new wife without even apparently grieving for his wife.His pension is considerable and the obsession for it not to go to waste is still in his mind. We wonder why he chose his second wife as she was the same age as him, he should have logically chosen a younger lady hence the reason we think he must have had AD at the time he remarried 15months after the death of his first wife
My FIL is 88 we think he had early stage AD when his first wife died as he straight away looked for a new wife without even apparently grieving for his wife.His pension is considerable and the obsession for it not to go to waste is still in his mind. We wonder why he chose his second wife as she was the same age as him, he should have logically chosen a younger lady hence the reason we think he must have had AD at the time he remarried 15months after the death of his first wife
