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Activities for dad

Denise.w

Registered User
Aug 23, 2014
39
My dad is physically active . He does hoovering. Ironing. I give him brass to clean, but he is continually asking me for things to do. Any ideas of things he can sit and do? Models and jigsaws no good. Something productive. He moans he is bored all the time.
 

MrsTerryN

Registered User
Dec 17, 2012
769
Mum was doing the gardening for a while up till she broke her hip. Even though it was just puttering she quite enjoyed filling up the watering can and then individual watering the plants etx
 

jeany123

Registered User
Mar 24, 2012
19,036
71
Durham
Hello Denise and welcome to Talking Point what about clothes to fold, veg to peel,

cutlery to dry, I sometimes give my husband a drawer out of the kitchen to tidy out,

Pennies and twopences to sort into bags, buttons to sort into colours or sizes you can get big bags of mixed ones on Amazon very cheaply,

I am sure other people will be here with more ideas soon,

Best wishes, Jeany x
 

chris53

Registered User
Nov 9, 2009
2,929
London
Hi Denise, a warm welcome to you to Talking Point:) yes it's amazing as well as puzzling how dementia changes our loved ones, my mum is always saying "what have I got to do" and is always wanting things to do,she is also physically active,but I feel her brain is working on double time! I sometimes run out of ideas;) if dad has a garden or a nearby neighbour has one maybe dad could get cracking on that, or start seeds off indoors...is there decorating that needs to be done..low level stuff that would not involve standing on ladders? or maybe crosswords? I am sure someone will be along with better ideas to help you help dad,in the meantime keep posting and take care.
Chris x
 

Denise.w

Registered User
Aug 23, 2014
39
Thank you everybody. He is living with me and has been doing some gardening. Also sorting my money into bags as I am self employed. Doing the veg too. Yes chris53 brain is always running on overtime.
He has upset me lately as has asked me to marry him twice, when I have been trying to talk through financial things with him. The conversations mess with my head so much. He is acting like a spouse and smothering me. It is raining today and I need space. I feel sick to my stomach at times.
I am sure I will be visiting this site very much in the future.
 

Tin

Registered User
May 18, 2014
4,824
UK
Mum living with me is always asking"what can I do now" I find her little jobs to do around the house: polishing, mopping floor and sometimes tidying and cleaning kitchen cupboards, but the problem is she wants me to do all these things with her or does not comlete and I have to finish things. She did sort out all my books in order, but I had to put them back on shelves, but theres only so much and I've never had such a busy life! My brother has to deal with the spouse thing and it is without doubt the most uncomfortable part of dementia.
 

Denise.w

Registered User
Aug 23, 2014
39
Mum living with me is always asking"what can I do now" I find her little jobs to do around the house: polishing, mopping floor and sometimes tidying and cleaning kitchen cupboards, but the problem is she wants me to do all these things with her or does not comlete and I have to finish things. She did sort out all my books in order, but I had to put them back on shelves, but theres only so much and I've never had such a busy life! My brother has to deal with the spouse thing and it is without doubt the most uncomfortable part of dementia.
Thanks Tin. Thankfully I have found him a couple of TCM movies to watch today. But usually he says TV is rubbish.
When he was at home not looking after himself he was losing weight and sleeping loads. But now with good food and company he hardly sleeps in day and very little at night. But thankfully is still able to remain in bed at the present.
Did you brother find the spouse thing very difficult. I am now very guarded in what I say and how I say it. He wanted to take us out for a meal later but I have refused.
I can't believe how he cannot cope or remember so many things. But in other ways he is still switched on and learning new skills as well ? Vascular dementia diagnosed as fairly long standing, but head scan Friday may reveal mor. Memory nurse thinks aspects of Altzheimers. He is 92. I wish a physical illness would take him from this. He is so upset at times. He hates it as does everybody !
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,133
Scotland
Could you get him to paint the inside of your garden fence or shed - a la Tom Sawyer! He would be inside and outside at the same time if you know what I mean. It could keep him busy for days.
 

Tin

Registered User
May 18, 2014
4,824
UK
Mums reaction to a lot of t.v "this is daft or boring" So given up trying to find what might interest her, I watch what I want. 3 dvd's she watches over and over: Battle of Britain, Goodnight Uncle Tom, The Great Escape oh and although not as interested now, The Dirty Dozen [viewed at least 80 times!] now I think she is getting bored with it and remembers the story.

My brother does not know the full extent of mums obsession with him, can't bring myself to tell him, its an uncomfortable conversation for me and anyway no point, we can't stop it, I'm sure in time it will pass. Theres a few people on tp with the same experience and I know it is the dementia. In some photos my brother does look so like my dad who died 4 years ago so I can see why she gets so confused. She calls me mummy sometimes, which is odd in that mine is a northern, working class background, it was either mam or mum, but never mummy.
 

Denise.w

Registered User
Aug 23, 2014
39
Could you get him to paint the inside of your garden fence or shed - a la Tom Sawyer! He would be inside and outside at the same time if you know what I mean. It could keep him busy for days.
That is really good idea actually. When the rain goes away will give it a go. Thank you.
 

Denise.w

Registered User
Aug 23, 2014
39
Thank you. I found out today that he has been referring to me to neighbours as his girlfriend or wife since about January, which explains a lot of the way he has been speaking to me. Hope it passes for you as well, but no doubt something worse will take the place. But on a good note today has been better than I had expected !
Mums reaction to a lot of t.v "this is daft or boring" So given up trying to find what might interest her, I watch what I want. 3 dvd's she watches over and over: Battle of Britain, Goodnight Uncle Tom, The Great Escape oh and although not as interested now, The Dirty Dozen [viewed at least 80 times!] now I think she is getting bored with it and remembers the story.

My brother does not know the full extent of mums obsession with him, can't bring myself to tell him, its an uncomfortable conversation for me and anyway no point, we can't stop it, I'm sure in time it will pass. Theres a few people on tp with the same experience and I know it is the dementia. In some photos my brother does look so like my dad who died 4 years ago so I can see why she gets so confused. She calls me mummy sometimes, which is odd in that mine is a northern, working class background, it was either mam or mum, but never mummy.
 

CollegeGirl

Registered User
Jan 19, 2011
9,524
North East England
Not to make light of your problems, but I'm envious that you are looking for activities for your 92 year old dad, with dementia! My mam is only 75 and is way beyond being able to entertain herself with any useful (or even non-useful) activity now.

All she does is pace around the house, pulling furniture out, de-making the bed, picking things up and putting them in odd places, and has a fascination with cushions and other soft furnishings. Over and over, hour after hour.

Oh how I'd love it if she could do a bit of dusting, polishing, hoovering, tidying, anything. It would be lovely to see her doing something like that, especially as she was so very houseproud in the past and everything was always immaculate.

I know you have your own set of difficulties and I'm not trivialising them, honestly, but oh I do wish ...
 

Denise.w

Registered User
Aug 23, 2014
39
Yes I am sure you do, there are so many people much younger than my dad who are far worse off. You must feel envious (but not in a nasty way) just a natural feeling and response to your situation.
Not to make light of your problems, but I'm envious that you are looking for activities for your 92 year old dad, with dementia! My mam is only 75 and is way beyond being able to entertain herself with any useful (or even non-useful) activity now.

All she does is pace around the house, pulling furniture out, de-making the bed, picking things up and putting them in odd places, and has a fascination with cushions and other soft furnishings. Over and over, hour after hour.

Oh how I'd love it if she could do a bit of dusting, polishing, hoovering, tidying, anything. It would be lovely to see her doing something like that, especially as she was so very houseproud in the past and everything was always immaculate.

I know you have your own set of difficulties and I'm not trivialising them, honestly, but oh I do wish ...
 

Denise.w

Registered User
Aug 23, 2014
39
We all need to vent our feeling. I have so much more else going on in my life which is bad besides this. I am sure many of us also do. This illness gives you no headspace and you are as caught up in it as the sufferer. I expect it is very hard for you to relax with the constant fiddling etc etc
Thank you for understanding :). I hope some of the suggestions are helpful.
 

mancmum

Registered User
Feb 6, 2012
403
things to do

Your situation sounds like mine.

We do a health walk each week. Organised by local council. Scraping varnish off bits of dark brown furniture and objects. Activity probably has to feel grown up.
Picking blackberries was OK. Individually picking off elderberries was done happily. Sometimes he does a crab. One crab equals one hour.

The activities that work are all those he used to do.
 

Oxy

Registered User
Jul 19, 2014
955
'Active' equals other difficulties/problems, I know, but I would so like to be able to do active things. TV is usually/often rubbish but certain things animate like animal progs. Worst I find is constant questioning or bringing up irrelevant topic at part of prog where I want to concentrate. Also when you point something out, because cognitive processes slow and sight rock bottom, then thinks it's another person sometimes being not even right sex when Program has moved on.
I shouldn't complain as today is so good and as afternoon the tv was on constantly being watched with closed eyes quite a lot. Edinburgh tattoo is accepted at mo although have been asked if I like it so don't know how long till it's noise. Have got quick reads from library to see if enjoyed when being read to.
Also find vasc. Dem so hard to comprehend as what presents can be so diverse in 'ability'.I believe it is due to path neural connections make. Sometimes I wonder whether it is to do with how congested arteries are and how much oxygen therefore reaches brain. Therefore I'm so careful with diet to ensure that what there is is maintained for as long as possible and try to hide pulses in food whenever pos to help mop up cholesterol.
 

lizzybean

Registered User
Feb 3, 2014
1,366
Lancashire
Hi & welcome to TP. I'm sure you will find it/us a great support. I have recently started playing dominoes with my MIL. We were playing it incorrectly to start with (I couldn't remember the rules & couldn't be bothered reading them) anyhow we play correctly now & it is actually quite good fun & passes the time. She doesn't live with us but I see her every day & sometimes we just don't have anything to talk about so I get out the game. I might try simple card games soon Happy families maybe?