Hello everyone,
I have only just joined this forum after being recommended by a friend. I have an elderly brother-in-law who will be 92 in October and I am beginning to worry about his mental health. He lives alone and has carers coming in 4 times per day to help him with cooking, housework etc as he is virtually bed-bound now and cannot get out. Myself and my 17 year old son visit him every Sunday (we live almost 50 miles away) to see him, bring his shopping and deal with any post or others matters that need attention.
A little while back he started saying things had gone missing and was blaming the carers for taking them. They were silly things like old batteries and an old, broken bedside table that he claims he had (although I have never seen this item). Of course I reported this to the care agency who said that they would investigate but that it was quite common for these accusations to occur if Harry had perhaps put the items elsewhere and forgotten where. I sort of forgot about it in all honesty, although there have been other odd things like Harry asking why his mother had just walked out and left 6 months ago without a word (his mum died in 1986) and also that nobody had bothered telling him that all his brothers and sisters had died too. I did tell him because they all passed away in 2007 and I took him to all the funerals, but he's adamant that he didn't go. Anyway, I digress..... then on Monday he phoned me to say that he had something to tell me that I wasn't going to like; he claimed that my son Jack had stolen his old Bic razors from the draw and had been selling them at school. He said that one of the parents had brought the razors back and told him that Jack had sold them to his son! Now there is no way on God's earth that Jack would do such a thing, he is NOT a thief and he sees Harry as a father figure since his own dad died from a brain tumour in 2007. Poor Jack is distraught because Harry has now said he doesn't want to see him anymore and not to bring him to the house ever again. No amount of explaining will make him change his mind, and Jack is so upset that Harry believes he would do such a thing. It's a ridiculous accusation, why would a 17 year old boy steal old Bic razors that were all rusty and dirty, and then sell them to his mates at a school over 50 miles away? Why would a father decide to return them, and how would he have got Harry's address anyway??? It just doesn't add up.
I don't know what to do, perhaps Harry has the start of dementia because I've been looking at his symptoms and they all match up. Do I call in his doctor? What can I do about getting Harry and Jack back to being the friends they have always been? Will it be me next who he accuses of stealing? - HELP!!!!
I have only just joined this forum after being recommended by a friend. I have an elderly brother-in-law who will be 92 in October and I am beginning to worry about his mental health. He lives alone and has carers coming in 4 times per day to help him with cooking, housework etc as he is virtually bed-bound now and cannot get out. Myself and my 17 year old son visit him every Sunday (we live almost 50 miles away) to see him, bring his shopping and deal with any post or others matters that need attention.
A little while back he started saying things had gone missing and was blaming the carers for taking them. They were silly things like old batteries and an old, broken bedside table that he claims he had (although I have never seen this item). Of course I reported this to the care agency who said that they would investigate but that it was quite common for these accusations to occur if Harry had perhaps put the items elsewhere and forgotten where. I sort of forgot about it in all honesty, although there have been other odd things like Harry asking why his mother had just walked out and left 6 months ago without a word (his mum died in 1986) and also that nobody had bothered telling him that all his brothers and sisters had died too. I did tell him because they all passed away in 2007 and I took him to all the funerals, but he's adamant that he didn't go. Anyway, I digress..... then on Monday he phoned me to say that he had something to tell me that I wasn't going to like; he claimed that my son Jack had stolen his old Bic razors from the draw and had been selling them at school. He said that one of the parents had brought the razors back and told him that Jack had sold them to his son! Now there is no way on God's earth that Jack would do such a thing, he is NOT a thief and he sees Harry as a father figure since his own dad died from a brain tumour in 2007. Poor Jack is distraught because Harry has now said he doesn't want to see him anymore and not to bring him to the house ever again. No amount of explaining will make him change his mind, and Jack is so upset that Harry believes he would do such a thing. It's a ridiculous accusation, why would a 17 year old boy steal old Bic razors that were all rusty and dirty, and then sell them to his mates at a school over 50 miles away? Why would a father decide to return them, and how would he have got Harry's address anyway??? It just doesn't add up.
I don't know what to do, perhaps Harry has the start of dementia because I've been looking at his symptoms and they all match up. Do I call in his doctor? What can I do about getting Harry and Jack back to being the friends they have always been? Will it be me next who he accuses of stealing? - HELP!!!!