Accusations a first sign?

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Chicgeek88, Nov 19, 2019.

  1. Chicgeek88

    Chicgeek88 New member

    Nov 19, 2019
    1
    Hi all,
    I’m concerned about my 77 year old grandmother. I think she may have Alzheimer’s. Her father had it so it does run in her family. For several years now, she has been making accusations of her grandchildren and her husband.

    Grandchildren: for over 15 years, my grandmother has accused one grandchild of destroying things in her house. From scratching up her tables to putting syrup on her walls. Things that a normal person sees as wear and tear she accused him of doing purposely. 3 years ago a different grandchild came to live with her. He is 28. She now accuses him of the same things. She says that the other grandson is paying him to destroy her home.

    Husband: for the past 3 years, she has accused my grandfather of being unfaithful. My grandfather is 84 and. Stays in the house watching tv 95% of the time. She first accused him of being with someone at church, now she is saying he’s been with a neighbor who is young enough to be his daughter. No disrespect to my grandfather but he is not savvy enough to have an affair! It’s unreasonable.

    My grandfather is the one who tells us about these things she says. When we confront her she holds on to her belief that these things are happening.

    This is really the only symptom we are seeing. Her memory seems ok for her age. She still goes places on her own, remembers to pay bills and other things she needs to do. My grandfather is just miserable with being accused of cheating. She doesn’t listen to reason.

    Thank you in advance for your advice
     
  2. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    5,022
    N Ireland
    Hello @Chicgeek88 and welcome to the forum. You have come to the right place for information and support.

    The best thing to do in this situation is have a chat with your GP. Many treatable conditions, such as depression, stress, thyroid problems, vitamin deficiencies etc., can cause dementia like symptoms so it's important to have a check-up. Please don't cause additional stress by jumping to the immediate conclusion that it's dementia. On the other hand, if it is dementia then a diagnosis may open up support for you.

    Here is a link to a Society Fact sheet about the diagnosis issue. Just click the second line to read or print the document

    Assessment and diagnosis (426)
    PDF printable version

    Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
     
  3. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    5,022
    N Ireland
    By the way, I hope you have time to take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

    You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc., if any of that hasn't already been done. There is also a Dementia Guide in the list.
     
  4. Kuiper27

    Kuiper27 Registered User

    Nov 17, 2019
    22
    Hi I agree with @karaokePete it's very important for blood tests to be done to rule out other medical conditions, as the simplest can have a bizarre effect in our bodies as we age

    However, I kind of knew there was something terribly wrong with my dad when he accused my family (his grandchildren and great grandchildren) of stealing one of his possessions, after a family get together for moms birthday. I thought I'd heard wrong. I got very upset and challenged him. He told me I was hysterical and that it was best I left. My brother found the object under the to on the stand. He'd never ever said or done anything like this to me. I went to leave but mom begged me to stay. My sis in law suggested quietly she suspected dementia. I calmed down and very reluctantly stayed. After an hour he put his arm in my shoulder and said he was sorry and that strange things kept happening in his head. He couldn't control what came out of his mouth. We walked down the garden, talked and hugged. I never told my family or even my husband what happened for fear of upsetting them.

    If you would like you're welcome to read my thread you'll see what's happening at the moment

    I wish you luck and I send you positive thoughts

    Kuiper
     

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