Abuse of LPA

[Emerion]

I’m reeling from the shock of having to accept that 2 people who I trusted completely have been robbing my precious dad using their power of attorney. For weeks I couldn’t, or wouldn’t believe it. Anyone you asked would say that they are both kind and honest. I still can’t believe it some of the time, but now that I’ve started looking, the evidence is piling up and I can’t ignore it. Plus they have told me more than one direct lie, obviously to cover up. They are both comfortably off themselves. I feel physically sick thinking about this and can’t sleep for the worry and the anger. I know I will have to contact the public guardian, and of course they deserve whatever trouble comes. Also, I find it hard to believe that anyone would be so stupid as to risk what are going to be very serious consequences. Especially as it was inevitable that I would find out sooner or later. I think they think that they’ve covered their tracks, because presumably they don’t realise that a closed account has not vanished irretrievably. They have a blameless reputation at the moment and that’s all going to go up in smoke. Why would they risk that, even if they care nothing for the wrongness of it? The amount of money would be impressive if they were poor. But for comfortably off people, it isn’t that much, very nice to have if come by honestly, but not life changing.

I suppose part of the reason I’m writing this is to just say to everyone with a relative who has granted a power of attorney, please check up occasionally, if only for peace of mind. Even if you really, really trust the attorney/s. Because I don’t think I’m particularly naive, but I would have said they were the last 2 people on earth who would do this to anyone. Honestly, I don’t know how I can ever trust anyone ever again now that these two have turned out to be thieves. I will try to though ?.

It will get sorted out of course. And most important of all, dad is fine and has no idea, and that has to be a comfort.

 

[Jessbow]

How have you managed to find this out?
Are you absolutely certain of your facts?


has the money from a closed account been transfered to the donors other account?

 

[MaNaAk]

Good question @Jessbow I think you need to find this out first.

MaNaAk

 

[Lemondrizzle]

I can really empathise with your shock. I am not a trusting person and I can still remember the day I found out that one of the few people in my life I would have trusted implicity was dishonest. It wasn't financial but still displayed a level of deviousness that left me reeling. I wish I could say the shock will ease but to this day, some years later, I still reel. I am really sorry for your dad that his trust has been so abused and I hope you are able to recover some of the money for him and I would also hope you are able to get some justice against these two people. It really makes my blood boil.

 

[concerned4]

Sorry to read about your situation Emerion, unfortunately this is an all too common problem with Power of Attorneys, waiting for the OPG to act could take some time, if POA’s are found to be abusing their position of trust they should face the consequences for their actions, they will have their POA’s revoked as they should, hopefully if they have done wrong the OPG will report this to the Police, but a word of caution they don’t always do that, I canvassed my local MP to ask for tests to be carried out regularly for those diagnosed so that it is not left to the POA to “decide“ if & when the person has or hasn’t capax, if you feel that your dad has been financially abused you should contact the Police & ask them to investigate your concerns.
All the best.

 

[MartinWL]

I would just add that before contacting police or even the OPG, do gather your hard evidence together. You will need to have clear evidence that money has been misplaced. For example I closed a couple of my parents' investment accounts recently but that doesn't mean I did anything dishonest, I invested the money somewhere else in their names because I thought there was a better deal to be had. So do get your hard evidence together first!

 

[Emerion]

I am 99% sure @Jessbow & @MartinWL. I’m waiting for some more details which will be the final 1%. I needed this certainty for my own peace of mind, because I wouldn’t want to accuse innocent people. If it was just incompetence and ignorance - which I was hoping it was at first - that would be different. I can’t explain exactly how I know without a very long reply, but a lot of money has vanished. I know how much money was there before, and I know how much is there now. The money hasn’t just been moved to different accounts in his name. I have found out about significant spending on things not remotely connected to dad.
Thank you everyone for all of your thoughtful replies. This is painful, and I obviously can’t talk to people that we know the moment, in case gossip gets back to them. Also, there are blameless people who are going to be devastated if this can’t be kept quiet. I don’t know if it can. When the time comes, I’m going to ask the public guardian if that’s possible. My research suggests that it only comes to jail in extreme circumstances, like coercion. I don’t think this happened.

 

[Lcasa]

Please contact the OPG as soon as possible if you suspect this - we found out in 2019 that my sister in law had POA over my mother in law and hadn't bothered to inform my husband or his brother. My mother in law had been diagnosed with Dementia in 2017 but was still managing to live on her own but in early 2019 she said her daughter was spending all her money. We became suspicious when we could not find a single piece of paperwork left in my mother in laws home, my husband eventually found 4 months statements from 2017 and it was evident that his sister was using his mum's money for property renevation's for her two kids. His mum wanted to change the POA but his sister used every tactic in the book, stating that the brothers were estranged from their parents (totally untrue). It took the OPG 6 months to investigate, we eventually got the report in Jan 2020 at which point they stripped his sister of her POA after finding that she had spent over £180,000 of her savings in just over 2 years! She had only kept £9,000 of receipts which were all designer good £2500 on a handbag, £1000 in Harrods for Jewellrey, 2 x pairs of Hermes sandals £490 each... the list goes on. She actually listed all her spending, where there were no receipts, kitchens, decorating, holidays - none of which was related to his mother.
His mother had made a statement to the police, stating that she hadn't authorised her to spend her money back in Sept 2019.
Sadly my mother in law had a fall and ended up in a care home last year, just as lock down came in and passed away within a few weeks.
We have just received an email from the police stating that 'they will be taking no further action' against his sister, as she has told them that his mother agreed to all the spending, and it is a grey area to prove it.

Where is the justice? What deterent is there for anyone else contemplating doing this? We are all absolutely disgusted, his sister made his mothers life a living hell for the last year of her life.

 

[nellbelles]

Hi @Lcasa welcome to DTP
I’m sorry to read that you haven’t got closure on the dishonesty of your SIL you and the family must feel very disheartened by it all..
I hope now you have found the forum you will continue to post for support

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

Please contact the OPG as soon as possible if you suspect this - we found out in 2019 that my sister in law had POA over my mother in law and hadn't bothered to inform my husband or his brother. My mother in law had been diagnosed with Dementia in 2017 but was still managing to live on her own but in early 2019 she said her daughter was spending all her money. We became suspicious when we could not find a single piece of paperwork left in my mother in laws home, my husband eventually found 4 months statements from 2017 and it was evident that his sister was using his mum's money for property renevation's for her two kids. His mum wanted to change the POA but his sister used every tactic in the book, stating that the brothers were estranged from their parents (totally untrue). It took the OPG 6 months to investigate, we eventually got the report in Jan 2020 at which point they stripped his sister of her POA after finding that she had spent over £180,000 of her savings in just over 2 years! She had only kept £9,000 of receipts which were all designer good £2500 on a handbag, £1000 in Harrods for Jewellrey, 2 x pairs of Hermes sandals £490 each... the list goes on. She actually listed all her spending, where there were no receipts, kitchens, decorating, holidays - none of which was related to his mother.
His mother had made a statement to the police, stating that she hadn't authorised her to spend her money back in Sept 2019.
Sadly my mother in law had a fall and ended up in a care home last year, just as lock down came in and passed away within a few weeks.
We have just received an email from the police stating that 'they will be taking no further action' against his sister, as she has told them that his mother agreed to all the spending, and it is a grey area to prove it.

Where is the justice? What deterent is there for anyone else contemplating doing this? We are all absolutely disgusted, his sister made his mothers life a living hell for the last year of her life.

Shocking, heartbreaking for your husband and his brother and a very sad reflection on your sister in law.

But you are right - there ain't no justice. If the sister says her mother agreed to the spending it would be impossible to prove otherwise. Even your MIL's statement saying she didn't authorise it could be challenged on the grounds that your MIL didn't have capacity then and had changed her mind, having previously agreed. (And a lot of people with dementia do things like that! My mother actually asked me if she should change her will - we'd been discussing my brother and she 'decided' he'd always been a disappointment and she didn't really like him. Perhaps she should give me all the money? I've never got on with my brother - he is not a nice person so I did consider it for about half a second.... then decided changing the subject was a better option...!)

Also, if the money is gone, i.e. spent, there is no point trying to pursue any kind of private prosecution or challenging her share of the will. Even if you got somewhere, it would cost an absolute fortune and you can't get money back if she no longer has it.

 

[Jelbem]

Please contact the OPG as soon as possible if you suspect this - we found out in 2019 that my sister in law had POA over my mother in law and hadn't bothered to inform my husband or his brother. My mother in law had been diagnosed with Dementia in 2017 but was still managing to live on her own but in early 2019 she said her daughter was spending all her money. We became suspicious when we could not find a single piece of paperwork left in my mother in laws home, my husband eventually found 4 months statements from 2017 and it was evident that his sister was using his mum's money for property renevation's for her two kids. His mum wanted to change the POA but his sister used every tactic in the book, stating that the brothers were estranged from their parents (totally untrue). It took the OPG 6 months to investigate, we eventually got the report in Jan 2020 at which point they stripped his sister of her POA after finding that she had spent over £180,000 of her savings in just over 2 years! She had only kept £9,000 of receipts which were all designer good £2500 on a handbag, £1000 in Harrods for Jewellrey, 2 x pairs of Hermes sandals £490 each... the list goes on. She actually listed all her spending, where there were no receipts, kitchens, decorating, holidays - none of which was related to his mother.
His mother had made a statement to the police, stating that she hadn't authorised her to spend her money back in Sept 2019.
Sadly my mother in law had a fall and ended up in a care home last year, just as lock down came in and passed away within a few weeks.
We have just received an email from the police stating that 'they will be taking no further action' against his sister, as she has told them that his mother agreed to all the spending, and it is a grey area to prove it.

Where is the justice? What deterent is there for anyone else contemplating doing this? We are all absolutely disgusted, his sister made his mothers life a living hell for the last year of her life.

Yes I recognise this attitude. My discovery of misappropriated funds began in 2017. My mother in law had at least £53,000 stolen by her then LPA. It took 3 attempts to get Safeguarding in place by Social Services and similar to get the OPG to listen. I reported it first to the police. It took the OPG 5 months to do anything and the police 7 months to arrest the then LPA. Two days later, a trainee Constable and sidekick descended with a search warrant for MY property and arrested ME, because the former LPA said I was complicit! With someone I didn’t know - except via phone calls!

Then began 16 months of being “under investigation “ - joke of the century! Meanwhile, a deputy was appointed, and I discovered the former LPA had conned a solicitor into getting Mam’s Will changed so his wife became sole beneficiary! Thus began 13 months of a Statutory Will application. I moved Mam to live with me on advice from the deputy so Safeguarding could be removed.

I was “NFA’d” by the police in July 2019 - but the case remained against the now former LPA. I have an arrest deletion application in progress - only they continue to maintain that my arrest was appropriate. The NFA states for me because there was no substantive evidence of Mam’s mental capacity when the Will and LPA was drawn up in March 2015. The qualified solicitor for the elderly who drew up the documents and Mam’s former GP were not interviewed!
In October 2019, the Statutory Will was confirmed and I was told that the paperwork for the case against the former LPA was being sent to the CPS. Covid next, followed by the sad death of my lovely mother in law from advanced Alzheimer’s - no Covid involved.
Dealing with the complications of probate and other related issues, we waited for the police to contact us. They didn’t, but sent my laptop - confiscated in 2018 on my arrest and retained as it contained evidence against the former LPA - via courier last month. No explanation. On contact, I received a letter in response to my complaint.
This informed me that the case had been “NFA’d” on 6/12/2020, had never been before the CPS and - amongst all the Police Act guff - it was my fault! I had apparently given “contradictory accounts” of Mam’s capacity!

Ignoring the solicitor, social worker, GP, neuropsychologist, CT scan and Memory Clinic psychiatrist, they blamed me - a retired teacher!

I have taken the complaint to the IOPC, my MP and - depending on the outcome - to the Home Office. Not just because I am aggrieved at the treatment meted out to me, an innocent person who is the only one to have my mother in law’s interests at heart. I feel the need to fight for public recognition of the disaster which is the system that allows vulnerable people to be so ill used and ignored by those professionals who have a duty of care!

 

[caw2407]

I’m reeling from the shock of having to accept that 2 people who I trusted completely have been robbing my precious dad using their power of attorney. For weeks I couldn’t, or wouldn’t believe it. Anyone you asked would say that they are both kind and honest. I still can’t believe it some of the time, but now that I’ve started looking, the evidence is piling up and I can’t ignore it. Plus they have told me more than one direct lie, obviously to cover up. They are both comfortably off themselves. I feel physically sick thinking about this and can’t sleep for the worry and the anger. I know I will have to contact the public guardian, and of course they deserve whatever trouble comes. Also, I find it hard to believe that anyone would be so stupid as to risk what are going to be very serious consequences. Especially as it was inevitable that I would find out sooner or later. I think they think that they’ve covered their tracks, because presumably they don’t realise that a closed account has not vanished irretrievably. They have a blameless reputation at the moment and that’s all going to go up in smoke. Why would they risk that, even if they care nothing for the wrongness of it? The amount of money would be impressive if they were poor. But for comfortably off people, it isn’t that much, very nice to have if come by honestly, but not life changing.

I suppose part of the reason I’m writing this is to just say to everyone with a relative who has granted a power of attorney, please check up occasionally, if only for peace of mind. Even if you really, really trust the attorney/s. Because I don’t think I’m particularly naive, but I would have said they were the last 2 people on earth who would do this to anyone. Honestly, I don’t know how I can ever trust anyone ever again now that these two have turned out to be thieves. I will try to though ?.

It will get sorted out of course. And most important of all, dad is fine and has no idea, and that has to be a comfort.

 

[nitram]

@caw2407
This thread is nearly 2½ years old, the original poster has not logged on since 20th Feb 2021