Sorry about the long story but please do read all.
I have been very concerned about my partner for several months. He is a spritely 75 year old who until recently was in good nick for his age. Looking back over a couple of years I suppose there was some signs of memory loss but I just thought that was normal as people get older. Over the past few months things have really gone down hill to the point where now he is unable to organise at all. So cooking a meal is impossibble, he doesn't seem to know where his clothes are kept (even though he has a family sized double wardrobe all to himself). He has lost his bank cards on several occasions. He stopped paying the council tax, which he used to pay over the counter every month. I only found out when the bailiffs turned up.
I had tried to persuade him to see a doctor on several occasions but he wouldn't accept that there was anything wrong. The turning point came when the police brought him home. The police officer explained that he had tried to buy something but didn't have any money and that he got very confused. The police were obviously called by the shop manager and they gave him a lift home. However, he first took them to an old address where we lived 13 years ago. Then he eventually remembered the road he lived on but not the district. They ended up going to every same name road in the West Midlands (Unfortunately we live in Worcestershire not the West Midlands).
This event made me act and although my partner was still a bit reluctant I made an appointment for the doctor to call at our home. There wasn't actually a set time for the doctor to call but it would be on a particular day between 9am and 1pm. I had to pop out for 1/2 an hour during this time and of course the doctor came then. I did catch the doctor just before she left and explained why I had called her out and that the police had advised me to seek medical advice. She did ask me what relation I was to Keith and I told her I was his partner. At the end the doctor mentioned that she would organise some tests and a scan.
A few days later my partner mentioned to me that he had received a phone call to say that he needed to go to the hospital for a scan the following day at 4pm. I was surprised that it came through so fast and a little bit concerned as he hadn't made a note of the details. I decided to phone the hospital just to make sure. The hospital did not have an appointment for him, They suggested I phone my local doctors surgery. The receptionist at the doctors was helpful and eventually found that he actually had an appointment two days later at the doctors to have a glucose test at 9am. There was also instructions that he wasn't to eat or drink anything during the morning and that he would be given a glucose drink and then would need to leave the doctors and return 2 hours later for a blood test. If i hadn't written down those instructions I would have had a big problem remembering all that! How do they expect somebody with a memory problem to cope with those instructions given verbally over the telephone? Anyway we went along and the test was done, he was booked in to have another test (cholestral) a week later.
We went along to the cholestral test and the nurse said that his cholestral was to high (5.6, whatever that means). At this point she asked if I was Keiths son to which I replied No, Im his partner. The nurse then turned to my partner and asked him if he wanted me to remain in the room or she could ask me to leave. Luckily keith said that he wanted me to stay. I was shocked by the suddeness of this as I han't really said any thing up to that point accept that I did all the cooking (obviously because he found it to difficult to do?). At the end of this the nurse let keith know that he was considered to be clinically obese and if his cholestral didn't fall below 5.5 within 3 months he would have to go on medication. I did ask about the problem with his confusion, the nurse didn't seem aware of this and checked her computer. She scrolled down the page quite a way and came to the doctors note. It seems the doctor had penciled in a brain scan in about 6 weeks time. Then the nurse said something completely odd, "I see he got cofused in Birmingham, oh well, everyone gets confused when in Birmingham. To which I replied "Does everyone get a lift home by the police?", it seems that information wasn't on his record. The nurse asked Keith some questions, what day, what month, what season, Who is the prime minister. After some thought keith did answer the first two correctly. for the season he said "middle of summer" (late march?) which was surprising as he is a keen gardener and knows the seasons. He also wasn't able to give the PM's name, some people may fall down on that one but keith has been involved in politics for 60 years! Then it was over, no details, no explaination, no diagnosis on his actual medical complaint. The only thing we have learned is that with a 38 inch waist he is clinically obese.
I am very disappointed at the total lack of support and information we received. Where do we go from here?
I really need some advice.
Should I complain to the doctors (or elsewhere)? Should I not complain as this could effect his treatment? Do I make another apointment with the doctors? Should I contact Social Services?Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks
Kevin
I have been very concerned about my partner for several months. He is a spritely 75 year old who until recently was in good nick for his age. Looking back over a couple of years I suppose there was some signs of memory loss but I just thought that was normal as people get older. Over the past few months things have really gone down hill to the point where now he is unable to organise at all. So cooking a meal is impossibble, he doesn't seem to know where his clothes are kept (even though he has a family sized double wardrobe all to himself). He has lost his bank cards on several occasions. He stopped paying the council tax, which he used to pay over the counter every month. I only found out when the bailiffs turned up.
I had tried to persuade him to see a doctor on several occasions but he wouldn't accept that there was anything wrong. The turning point came when the police brought him home. The police officer explained that he had tried to buy something but didn't have any money and that he got very confused. The police were obviously called by the shop manager and they gave him a lift home. However, he first took them to an old address where we lived 13 years ago. Then he eventually remembered the road he lived on but not the district. They ended up going to every same name road in the West Midlands (Unfortunately we live in Worcestershire not the West Midlands).
This event made me act and although my partner was still a bit reluctant I made an appointment for the doctor to call at our home. There wasn't actually a set time for the doctor to call but it would be on a particular day between 9am and 1pm. I had to pop out for 1/2 an hour during this time and of course the doctor came then. I did catch the doctor just before she left and explained why I had called her out and that the police had advised me to seek medical advice. She did ask me what relation I was to Keith and I told her I was his partner. At the end the doctor mentioned that she would organise some tests and a scan.
A few days later my partner mentioned to me that he had received a phone call to say that he needed to go to the hospital for a scan the following day at 4pm. I was surprised that it came through so fast and a little bit concerned as he hadn't made a note of the details. I decided to phone the hospital just to make sure. The hospital did not have an appointment for him, They suggested I phone my local doctors surgery. The receptionist at the doctors was helpful and eventually found that he actually had an appointment two days later at the doctors to have a glucose test at 9am. There was also instructions that he wasn't to eat or drink anything during the morning and that he would be given a glucose drink and then would need to leave the doctors and return 2 hours later for a blood test. If i hadn't written down those instructions I would have had a big problem remembering all that! How do they expect somebody with a memory problem to cope with those instructions given verbally over the telephone? Anyway we went along and the test was done, he was booked in to have another test (cholestral) a week later.
We went along to the cholestral test and the nurse said that his cholestral was to high (5.6, whatever that means). At this point she asked if I was Keiths son to which I replied No, Im his partner. The nurse then turned to my partner and asked him if he wanted me to remain in the room or she could ask me to leave. Luckily keith said that he wanted me to stay. I was shocked by the suddeness of this as I han't really said any thing up to that point accept that I did all the cooking (obviously because he found it to difficult to do?). At the end of this the nurse let keith know that he was considered to be clinically obese and if his cholestral didn't fall below 5.5 within 3 months he would have to go on medication. I did ask about the problem with his confusion, the nurse didn't seem aware of this and checked her computer. She scrolled down the page quite a way and came to the doctors note. It seems the doctor had penciled in a brain scan in about 6 weeks time. Then the nurse said something completely odd, "I see he got cofused in Birmingham, oh well, everyone gets confused when in Birmingham. To which I replied "Does everyone get a lift home by the police?", it seems that information wasn't on his record. The nurse asked Keith some questions, what day, what month, what season, Who is the prime minister. After some thought keith did answer the first two correctly. for the season he said "middle of summer" (late march?) which was surprising as he is a keen gardener and knows the seasons. He also wasn't able to give the PM's name, some people may fall down on that one but keith has been involved in politics for 60 years! Then it was over, no details, no explaination, no diagnosis on his actual medical complaint. The only thing we have learned is that with a 38 inch waist he is clinically obese.
I am very disappointed at the total lack of support and information we received. Where do we go from here?
I really need some advice.
Should I complain to the doctors (or elsewhere)? Should I not complain as this could effect his treatment? Do I make another apointment with the doctors? Should I contact Social Services?Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks
Kevin