Abandonment why feel like this 18 months after entering home

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Dementia Talking Point' started by Jolly sailor, Sep 6, 2018.

  1. Jolly sailor

    Jolly sailor Registered User

    Apr 1, 2017
    3
    i know my mother has Alzheimer's late stages to, so why now do I question did I do the right thing putting her in home, when visit it's clear she needs to be there dosnt recognise me...so why do I feel I have abandoned her?
     
  2. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,020
    Yorkshire
    because you are human. @Jolly sailor and because you care
    I honestly think that the head makes sound decisions and we know we did what had to be done for our parent, but to make those decisions we have to side step the heart which is pulling us in a different direction, then in time the heart catches up and we begin to wonder - dad's been in his care home over 3 years now and no way could I cope with him in my small home, but oh at times I just want to bundle him up and bring him with me - head reminds me each time it would be a disaster for us both, but that doesn't stop the wanting and the sadness
    be gentle with yourself
     

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