A year ago today my Mum skipped away from this life! I have been thinking of her a lot, remembering the sinking feeling as I heard the early morning phone call, hurriedly getting dressed and dashing to the car, walking quickly, almost running, along the long hospital corridor to be met by the nurse on duty to say that she had just that minute died. But as I sat beside her, I really felt she had danced and skipped away with glee - at last she was free from the horrible horrible dementia that had closed her down slowly and painfully, and robbed her and my dad of a happy retirement. So I have had time to reflect. I had lost my brother, and then my dad, before taking on the care of my mum. She needed full time full on care. She had lost her ability to talk, to walk and to engage with life; yet her time with me and my family was oh so precious! Along with the inevitable routine, there were many very special moments throughout the time I looked after her. Holding her upright and 'dancing' in the garden. Telling her how much we loved her and that we wanted to care for her. Singing old favourites, sometime stopping mid phrase to see if she would finish the line. Her holding my hand and giving it a kiss and gazing strongly into my eyes. She would write pages and pages of the word 'thinking'. Seeing my children do some very caring things for her, or catching a glimpse of my husband sitting with her in her room just watching a film. It was also hard, and tiring, and at times I felt deeply sad about the whole situation. Also, because looking after mum and my own family needed me to stay strong, I couldn't grieve for my dad when he died, even though it had come as a terrible shock to us all and he meant the world to me. So this year, I have grieved for both of them and my brother too. Sometimes it is really hard. But one year on, I can now think how lucky I was to have been one of their clan, and I am confident in the knowledge that they loved me and my children and that their love will get us through a lot in life. So I'm not going to mark the anniversary of mum's death with sadness, but with happy memories and smiles and love in my heart. Cheers Mum x
A year ago
- Thread starter Murper1
- Start date
Thank you murper1 for such a lovely post. Your situation resonates with me. Last Sunday was the 2nd Anniversary of my mother's passing and this sunday for my father it will be 15 years and i too can now grieve for them both.
My 2nd year of missing mum was punctuated by the realisation that she has really gone and was not coming back. I think you are lucky to have your own family to support you and share your grief and you have such wonderful memories to recall.
I wish you well and hope that your next year without her is not too hard and you will see oyu second anniversary as a milestone. Good luck.
My 2nd year of missing mum was punctuated by the realisation that she has really gone and was not coming back. I think you are lucky to have your own family to support you and share your grief and you have such wonderful memories to recall.
I wish you well and hope that your next year without her is not too hard and you will see oyu second anniversary as a milestone. Good luck.
Thank you Prudence9, Marcelle 123, Carmar and Greyone. What a relief to be able to talk! I (think) am naturally positive and optimistic about life, and want to protect my little family by not showing any downheartedness. But my goodness I do miss my mum, dad and brother! Love, strength and happiness to all! 
