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A white lie!


Registered User
Jan 28, 2014
Tomorrow I have to have a small procedure under general anaesthetic. I have been asked by the hospital who is at home and do I have someone to look after me. I've told them my husband is at home and has dementia. I have had to lie and tell them he can look after me. In truth I don't know if he can because I don't know what 'looking after ' I will need. I will only be having a light anaesthetic and expect to be released from hospital in about five hours, my daughter will be collecting me from the hospital and taking me home. If I tell them he can't look after me it will mean I can't have the procedure so I'm in a catch 22 situation. I'm just hoping everything will be fine and I will be able to carry on as normal when I get home. I will be away from home over lunchtime so I will leave a sandwich for him, he will just need to get himself a drink which he can do - if he remembers! Luckily no vital medication at lunchtime. I had originally wanted him to go to a local care home which offers day care but he refuses so I have no option but to leave him at home. To be honest he will probably sleep most of the time. I have a couple of ready meals to go in the microwave for our evening meal which I should be able to manage and he will be ready for bed about 7.30. I suppose my only concern would be If I had a medical emergency overnight but I have a Careline alarm I can use if necessary. Would anyone else have done the same in my position?


Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
I'm not in your position but I do know lots of people who live on their own who lie and say someone is home in these circumstances so they can go home.

I've had a 'light' anaesthetic before - 20mins and was told to try and sleep as much as possible for 24 hours afterwards, I was in my early 30s at the time but it did leave me washed out - same thing 3 times in 12 months and same each time. I was capable of cooking etc and had a toddler to look after as OH went to work the next day!!!!

I think the only risk is if something goes wrong and you have to stay in hospital so you need a back up plan for this.


Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
North Manchester
'General anaesthetics can affect your memory, concentration and reflexes for a day or two, so it's important for a responsible adult to stay with you for at least 24 hours after your operation, if you're allowed to go home. You'll also be advised to avoid driving, drinking alcohol and signing any legal documents for 24 to 48 hours.'

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/general-anaesthesia/ .

Is it possible that your daughter could stay for a while after taking you home and be prepared to stay the night if needs be?

Agree with @jugglingmum 's back up plan.


Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
Yes I would do the same.
With more time I would have advised buying a YI camera from Amazon ( very cheap)
and that way you could monitor him from the hospital, via your mobile phone. ( you must have broadband for them to work).
If you have an emergency in the night you just call 111 or 999. They will help you out.
Don't be shy if you need them, your caring role saves the country up to £1300 pounds per week, for his care.
wishing you all the best!


Volunteer Moderator
Jul 14, 2006
I have to have a general anaesthetic at the beginning of April. The surgeon who will be doing the operation hopes that if I am operated on early in the day she may be able to release me the same day but only if I can guarantee someone will be with me overnight. If not then she would keep me in regardless of me being able to be discharged. Luckily my daughter will stay overnight with me if needs be. As there is only me now I have no one to worry about. .


Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
I had to have a colonoscopy last year while John was still alive. I chose to have it with gas on air rather than an anaesthetic because I knew I had to look after him when he got back from daycare and I got back from the hospital. Everything turned out fine but your post is a reminder of the pressures that carers are under. We can’t take time to be ill.


Registered User
Feb 18, 2017
I did just the same last year. I’m not sure if my OH could look after me but, luckily there was no problem.
Wishing you well, keep your mobile close at hand just in case!


Registered User
Jan 28, 2014
Thank you all for your helpful replies. I guess I should have thought about a back up plan in case I'm not home the same day but i.think this is highly unlikely. I hope I don't have to eat my words! I expect to feel a bit tired but I'm hoping that's all, unfortunately like most carers tiredness is a permanent state anyway so I'm quite used to that. If really necessary my daughter would be able to stay overnight but she has her family to think about. She only lives a very short distance from us so if I need her I can call her. Fingers crossed all will be well. I'd just like to get a bit more sleep tonight before I attend the hospital!


Registered User
Jan 28, 2014
Just to let you all know that everything went ok in my abscence! My husband managed to get the lunch I had left him. Our daughter phoned him to check he was ok. I phoned him as soon as I could after the anaesthetic wore off. If course when I got home normal service resumed, I got our meal ready and did all the things I normally do! So no dramas.


Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
South East
Glad all went well for you , sorry you were straight back in to caring role , try and get some extra rest when possible. Take care .