A visitor called today, opened up my eyes

lesmisralbles

Account Closed
Nov 23, 2007
5,543
I had an unexpected visitor today, an old friend of Mum's. Mum is an ex nurse, was not in, and as I live a few door's away, well she knocked.
She is an ex nurse, worked on the district, (district Nurse).
Because Ron was asleep in his chair (his throne, as I call it) she mouthed word's to me, oh, he has gone downhill, oh, but he still look's good, oh, how aweful for you. Etc. And, Barb, hasn't your hair gone grey, look's good though.:rolleyes:

Oh, you well meaning, dried up old prune, get a life. Because, Ron and I have one.:D
We might be older, but we are not dried up. And I hate prunes. especially YOU. Yes, OK, that is what I would have liked to have said. But I did mutter it under my breath as she was leaving. Three ****** hour's. I must be mad.:mad::mad::mad:
BarbX
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
Barb, hasn't your hair gone grey, look's good though
Oh I get that when I am in a rush not done my hair I just wash my hair rush out not had it cut in a long while & when I have not cut it it does look a mess because its curly . so I arrive at my brother place . where his support worker tell me you have lovely hair what happen to it , that I am neglecting my hair , that if I keep neglecting my hair I'll end up having a break down end up on ant psychotic drugs :eek:

Well OK did not know what to say ! as I look at the mess her hair was in . so this remark stayed in the back of my mind , few weeks later when I found the time . I went to hair dresser ask them to cut it , she end up cutting it to short & I can see my white hair more at the top of my head :D I don't mind about that . but I don't like the cut so short . Amazing really how & remark can effect me in that why .

My hair well grow back & I know what to say the next time . **** off lol i like my hair the way it is .
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,487
Kent
I suppose your visitor was really glamorous Barb. :rolleyes: She probably was dressed in the latest fashion and looked young enough to be your daughter. :rolleyes::mad: Perhaps she was my sister. ;)
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Barb, ignore the knockers, they know no better.

You and Ron are doing fine, and don't you forget it. Anyway, white hair is trendy, and very smart!:)

Love,
 

gigi

Registered User
Nov 16, 2007
7,788
66
East Midlands
Dear Barb,

People sat things without thinking, and don't realise the hurt they can cause.
As Hazel has said..ignore it.
white hair is trendy, and very smart
Dear Hazel..I'm so glad to hear that!!!!:D

Love gigi xx
 

Kate P

Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
565
Merseyside
his support worker tell me you have lovely hair what happen to it , that I am neglecting my hair , that if I keep neglecting my hair I'll end up having a break down end up on ant psychotic drugs
What??!!! I don't even know what to say about that - it's bizarre!!

I think sometimes people don't know what to say so they say the first thing that pops into their head. When my fiance died in a work accident I remember a close friend saying to me "I don't know how you're coping, if it was me I'd just want to die. I'd just have to die."

I remember sitting there thinking is that your advice - top myself? Is it supposed to make me feel better that I'm not showing the right amount of grief as you would?

Strangely when it comes to dementia the conversation I struggle with is "how's your mum doing?". I can't say fine because she's clearly not, if I launch into detail it's clear they're uncomfortable - how do you answer that question - what's the point in asking it? Do they expect me to say "fine"?

Well I'm being harsh. I guess they're asking to show some concern but then they're not so concerned that they want the truth of how mum is. Do you know what I mean?
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Strangely when it comes to dementia the conversation I struggle with is "how's your mum doing?". I can't say fine because she's clearly not, if I launch into detail it's clear they're uncomfortable - how do you answer that question - what's the point in asking it? Do they expect me to say "fine"?
Hi Kate

I have a stock answer when people ask about John. I say 'He's much the same. He has good days and bad days. You never know what to expect.'

If they're really interested, they'll ask for more info. If not, they'll move on to their own problems!:eek:

I still marginally prefer it when they ask, I wouldn't like John to be forgotten.
 

Kate P

Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
565
Merseyside
Same here - I do want them to ask - just never know how to reply to a seemingly closed question.

I like your answer - I'll have to memorise it!
 

andrear

Registered User
Feb 13, 2008
402
Yorkshire
HI All

Well, its not just my hair that is a mess at the moment, its all of me. My hair hasn't been this long for over 40 years!! And do I care, yes I do, but do I do anything about it No - why? Because at the end of each day looking after mum and dad I get home, make tea, talk over the day with Jon and then its off to bed to try and sleep until I can toss and turn no more, then its up again for me.
Andrea
 

lesmisralbles

Account Closed
Nov 23, 2007
5,543
And so it goes on

Andrear,
You are not alone, My hair, even having had it done not so long ago, well, it look's like I have been dragged through a hedge backward's.
Not so long ago, I got up, showered, makeup, hair, then to work.
But, like all thing's life changes.
And, we must change with it.
I do not know how I fitted all that I did into a day.
Now, I do not have enough day.

I am at my computer now, I can hear the blackbird's singing in the garden. Look, a new evening is beginning.
So now, I, we, will take each day at a time.
Love Barb & RonX:)
 

lesmisralbles

Account Closed
Nov 23, 2007
5,543
We, Ron and I will not forget you both

Hi Kate

I have a stock answer when people ask about John. I say 'He's much the same. He has good days and bad days. You never know what to expect.'

If they're really interested, they'll ask for more info. If not, they'll move on to their own problems!:eek:

I still marginally prefer it when they ask, I wouldn't like John to be forgotten.
You have alway's been so kind.
We will not forget.
Barb & Ron X
 

christine_batch

Registered User
Jul 31, 2007
3,388
Buckinghamshire
What the silly bat could not see with her eyes

Dear Barb and Ron,
What she could not see is the love and devotion that you have for each other.
That is more precious than state of hair, no make-up, clothes.
Love to you both
Christine xxx
 

lesmisralbles

Account Closed
Nov 23, 2007
5,543
Thank's Christine, and all

You know what, I have let myself go.
I recon, if anyone where I use to work saw me, they would not know me.
The glam will go on again tomorrow, after I have cleaned the bathroom, the bedroom and cleared up after the gardener.
Who am I kidding, by that time I will be so Knackered. Well, you all know.
Blackbird's still singing in our garden.
Greenery all around, beautiful time of the year, a new beginning.
Life, well it can be good.
BarbX
 

Members online

No members online now.

Forum statistics

Threads
115,379
Messages
1,687,822
Members
66,309
Latest member
ItsAllOver