I feel very scrooge like posting this..but Im truly delighten that Christmas went well for so many of you. Ours was worse than my worst nightmare.. Arrived at home at 10.45..mum in tears..said thought I wasnt coming. (had arranged to collect her at 11 am) realised she actually has no sense of time of day any more, a recent deterioration. Get mums coat on and her out to the car. Get in car and tell her to pull seatbelt across..no response..realise she no longer understands what that means. Get out of car and get her strapped in. Drive home. Get mum into house with help of sons. She stands in living room totally confused. Son guides her to chair while other son makes her tea. She sits blinking puzzled at us all. Son distributes presents. She lookd at her pile in increased confusion. "Why have I got these " she asks "Coz its Christmas and we care about you" I answer. "I cant have presents I dont live here" she answers. "It is not about where you live it is about having a family" She ignores the presents for ages then opens one. A nightdress. She has no idea what it is. "I dont want all this stuff" "ok" I say " I will put in away." She snatches it "Its mine!" Dinner is eventually served. She takes a bite and spits it out. Sons are exchanging glances caught between disgust and amusement. She repeats this several times.Eventually I remove her dinner and serve her pavolva. She manages two portions! Somehow the afternoon passes . She wont accept chocolates, apparantly she cant eat them..odd as sweets are her passion and I take her sweets whenever I visit. She erupts into rude outburts at older son, younger having retired to his bedroom. Finally at four I take her back. She says she doesnt want to go, but luckily doesnt make a fuss. As she leaves we realise there has been an "accident" ...we have no change of clothes I drop her back, and leave the debatably unwanted gifts. The home is quiet..she seems to have forgotten where her room is. I leave the staff to clean her up. I arrive home tearful and exhausted to find two sons waiting. "Did Granny..er,..POO herself" asks younger in horror. "I didnt realise she was THAT bad" elder refers to her bizarre ramblings. "We didnt realise" sayd younger speaking for both of them "Just how..BAD it was for you..you WHAT you were having to deal with!" The awfulness and hopelessness of dementia hits these two fine young men. and thats the "except"...their support helped so much. Ive been too ill today from sleeplessness and stress to do very much..but they have accepted this Christmas is a write off. Next year we wont bring her here..it hasnt done anyone including her any favours...but at least we know!