A stream of consciousness

[PalSal]

It's Saturday morning and I have not posted here for a few days.
We had a lovely evening last night with old friends. Two couples we have known 25 and 20 years respectively. We had wonderful discussions, lively opinionated but respectful. Excellent food, eveyone contributing....simple and delicious. I made the main dish (prepped it at my house...then made it at my friends house) I made Paul Prudhommes barbeque shrimp, they made the salad and a yummy dessert. It was so lovely, we ate in the kitchen at her round table .....so that we could eat the shrimp with our hands and drip our french bagettes directly into the sauce.

I was so happy. But on the way home, my hubby asked, 'who were those people, I should know them.' It made the evening end on a sad note. Some of our longest standing friends and he has no idea who they are.

So, over the course of the evening I was stimulated and engaged.....in the moment I have happiness. Need to get out into the mountains today....fresh air and exercise. Thank you TP friends

 

[Amethyst59]

It sounds like you had a lovely evening...and what a day you have planned. I would love to see photos of the countryside around you. I imagine something like the scenery in the Sound of Music!! It is so sad when our husbands say something to bring the reality of dementia back. But I am guessing he enjoyed the evening? We have to take our crumb of comfort from that. It is sad that you can’t reminisce together about past happy times with your friends...but you can still enjoy time with them now.
Martin is spending the day with his daughter, and I am having brunch with my daughter, then I am having a facial and massage! I should be super, smooth, slippery and relaxed at the end of today!

 

[PalSal]

My singing ensemble sang for the gereatric acute care hospital. It was wonderful. I contacted the director of the hospital, Professor Dr. Reto Kressig, who was on the diagnostic team for my OH when he was originally diagnosed. He is a wonderful man and a musician himself , so there is a beautiful Fazioli piano in the concert room. I coordinated the choirs side of the event, and it all went very very well. It was a lovely meeting /concert hall. Half of the room had chairs and half open space so they wheeled people in and even in beds they came. We had three sing a longs in German for the audience. It was humbling to bring so much joy and comfort.
The Professor gave a speech about the power of music and Alzheimers and also about the healing and restorative power of music.

I dressed my hubby up in grey wool trousers and grey turtleneck (which he hates) and his wonderful velvet jacket. He looked so handsome. The professor was so pleased to see us and pleased to see my husband looking so well after so many years. And we spoke about my OH's weekly walking program and how much it gives him.

Afterwards the staff had a beautiful apero for us and for those who attended. I drank orange juice but people said the wine was exceptional. Lovely finger foods.

This choir is full of wonderful folks. On Saturday, we sang on the streets of Basel to raise money for the local Alzheimer's chapter. Not the best year we ever had, 503 CHF in two hours. But I am sure the organizaation will use the money well.

It made me so grateful to be able to bring alittle happiness and joy, and to think beyond my own troubles and cares and be of some service.

 

[Amethyst59]

It sounds just beautiful. The BBC have a special feature all this week about the health benefits of music and singing. I love what you said about even being able to wheel people in their beds to enjoy the concert. We were in Switzerland for Christmas one year. It was so beautiful, so different to Christmas here. Trees were being sold on Christmas Eve, there was no garish music in the shops. We sat, drinking hot chocolate and saw a man go into a jeweller, and come out ten minutes later carrying a little gift wrapped box. That was it, Christmas shopping done! That night we went to midnight mass. It was snowing, we were in a tiny village and a trumpeter played a carol from the top of the church tower to call the villagers to the service. It was all so peaceful and beautiful.

 

[margherita]

My singing ensemble sang for the gereatric acute care hospital. It was wonderful. I contacted the director of the hospital, Professor Dr. Reto Kressig, who was on the diagnostic team for my OH when he was originally diagnosed. He is a wonderful man and a musician himself , so there is a beautiful Fazioli piano in the concert room. I coordinated the choirs side of the event, and it all went very very well. It was a lovely meeting /concert hall. Half of the room had chairs and half open space so they wheeled people in and even in beds they came. We had three sing a longs in German for the audience. It was humbling to bring so much joy and comfort.
The Professor gave a speech about the power of music and Alzheimers and also about the healing and restorative power of music.

I dressed my hubby up in grey wool trousers and grey turtleneck (which he hates) and his wonderful velvet jacket. He looked so handsome. The professor was so pleased to see us and pleased to see my husband looking so well after so many years. And we spoke about my OH's weekly walking program and how much it gives him.

Afterwards the staff had a beautiful apero for us and for those who attended. I drank orange juice but people said the wine was exceptional. Lovely finger foods.

This choir is full of wonderful folks. On Saturday, we sang on the streets of Basel to raise money for the local Alzheimer's chapter. Not the best year we ever had, 503 CHF in two hours. But I am sure the organizaation will use the money well.

It made me so grateful to be able to bring alittle happiness and joy, and to think beyond my own troubles and cares and be of some service.

What a nice experience you had.
You sound more serene than some days ago.
I am so glad for you

 

[PalSal]

What a nice experience you had.
You sound more serene than some days ago.
I am so glad for you

Yes-- for today. but everyday is different. And the way I feel about myself and others. I am feeling very happy for my family as there has been a major breakthrough for Huntington's Chorea. It will not help my three siblings but it could help their children....not to mention the links this receptor treatment may have on other neurological diseases. I am hopeful.
http://www.bbc.com/news/health-42308341

 

[Amethyst59]

Yes-- for today. but everyday is different. And the way I feel about myself and others. I am feeling very happy for my family as there has been a major breakthrough for Huntington's Chorea. It will not help my three siblings but it could help their children....not to mention the links this receptor treatment may have on other neurological diseases. I am hopeful.
http://www.bbc.com/news/health-42308341

Oh! Oh! I stupidly had forgotten your family when we saw this wonderful news!

 

[margherita]

Yes-- for today. but everyday is different. And the way I feel about myself and others. I am feeling very happy for my family as there has been a major breakthrough for Huntington's Chorea. It will not help my three siblings but it could help their children....not to mention the links this receptor treatment may have on other neurological diseases. I am hopeful.
http://www.bbc.com/news/health-42308341

Good morning @PalSal ,
In had never heard of Huntington's Chorea before you mentioned it.
It must be so awful
Hope research can advance and achieve further results.

 

[PalSal]

Hi TP friends.

So, we are still in the holiday period.

Just checking in.

We had a lovely Christmas Eve day, evening and Christmas Day with our children and two baby granddaughters. Since then we have been on our own. Carer came to walk with Nick yesterday and I hired a sitter for two nights and met up with friends.

I loved having our children here and so grateful that the two who live here in Basel are so willing to share their lives and time. But it is so sad that their father is clearly uncomfortable with everyone in the house. He wanders off and stares out the window. He is less and less involved with us. His attention span is so limited and his ability to understand is complicated by the language issues. And of course, as my son in law is Swiss, there is a lot of German spoken. Our own children are fluent, and although we try to stick to English, with the babies German is the primary language of their family. (Our daughter speaks English to them...but she and her hubby speak German to each other) This is further isolating for Nick.


Weird Christmas Day thing. My hubby hid the wheelie bin for the trash. (He has hurt his back over the last month moving and lifting things he should not but he then forgets he that his back hurts and moves something again) He insisted that the neighbors were putting their trash into our wheelie bin. This sounds like nothing, but some of you may remember a trash issue with my hubby a couple of years ago. He ended up hitting me hard and knocking me on the ground over the trash. It is one of only two times in this disease process that he has been violent. And moving the wheelie bin on the side of this mountain is no small feat. No wonder his back is damaged. I was really glad my son in law and my son were both here to put the wheelie bin back where it lives. I did not have to get into a conflict with Nick over the trash and his delusion regarding our sweet neighbors, my young men handled the situation for me. Nick accepted it from them....he was angry but not combative.

As a result of all this moving things that are too heavy, he is walking like an old man….avoiding the pain. I really hope his back improves as his walking is the saving grace in his life and if that goes, it would be a really terrible life for him. I got him a big thing of Voltarin for the pain, but when I ask him if he would like me to apply it, he says no.

I have had three evenings out. Two evenings, I hired our old housekeeper to sit with him. So, I felt less guilty going without him.

Nick is only really accessible when walking in the woods. According to those he walks with he is talkative and social when out in Nature. So, he is off again this morning on his Friday walk and lunch with his old friend. Such a wonderful and devoted friend.

We were invited to some old friends for New Years Eve, but I declined....Nick is not very comfortable in an environment with strangers. And there will be many people he wouldnt know at all. I feel fine about it. I was never a NYE reveler.

I see that my buddies Margherita and Amethyst 59 have been having some sleepless nights...hope you ladies catch some naps in the daytime.

Happy Holidays all.

 

[Amethyst59]

I am sorry to hear that Nick has hurt his back. I guess he still managed his walk today? Hopefully it will heal, if you can keep him away from the bins! How lovely that you enjoyed time with the family ... but the language must be a problem. Martin still remembers Dutch quite well, as he lived there for a couple of years and we visit annually, but his Italian, which was very good, has nearly all gone. I guess it is because he learnt it as an academic exercise, rather than because he was living and working in the country. He used to use German at work too, evidently it was a common language in the laboratory.
I have a busy few days before we go away...I am having the kitchen decorated. It is not ideal that it is being done immediately before our holiday, but that is the only time the decorator was free. Do you have plans for the new year? I don’t mean for the actual night...but rather, what will you fill your time with now that you are not so involved with the orchestra? I imagine you will still be singing?
Our new helper starts next week, so I will have two nights off a week...once we are in the new routine I hope life will be a lot easier.
It is always lovely to hear from you.

 

[margherita]

Hi TP friends.

So, we are still in the holiday period.

Just checking in.

We had a lovely Christmas Eve day, evening and Christmas Day with our children and two baby granddaughters. Since then we have been on our own. Carer came to walk with Nick yesterday and I hired a sitter for two nights and met up with friends.

I loved having our children here and so grateful that the two who live here in Basel are so willing to share their lives and time. But it is so sad that their father is clearly uncomfortable with everyone in the house. He wanders off and stares out the window. He is less and less involved with us. His attention span is so limited and his ability to understand is complicated by the language issues. And of course, as my son in law is Swiss, there is a lot of German spoken. Our own children are fluent, and although we try to stick to English, with the babies German is the primary language of their family. (Our daughter speaks English to them...but she and her hubby speak German to each other) This is further isolating for Nick.


Weird Christmas Day thing. My hubby hid the wheelie bin for the trash. (He has hurt his back over the last month moving and lifting things he should not but he then forgets he that his back hurts and moves something again) He insisted that the neighbors were putting their trash into our wheelie bin. This sounds like nothing, but some of you may remember a trash issue with my hubby a couple of years ago. He ended up hitting me hard and knocking me on the ground over the trash. It is one of only two times in this disease process that he has been violent. And moving the wheelie bin on the side of this mountain is no small feat. No wonder his back is damaged. I was really glad my son in law and my son were both here to put the wheelie bin back where it lives. I did not have to get into a conflict with Nick over the trash and his delusion regarding our sweet neighbors, my young men handled the situation for me. Nick accepted it from them....he was angry but not combative.

As a result of all this moving things that are too heavy, he is walking like an old man….avoiding the pain. I really hope his back improves as his walking is the saving grace in his life and if that goes, it would be a really terrible life for him. I got him a big thing of Voltarin for the pain, but when I ask him if he would like me to apply it, he says no.

I have had three evenings out. Two evenings, I hired our old housekeeper to sit with him. So, I felt less guilty going without him.

Nick is only really accessible when walking in the woods. According to those he walks with he is talkative and social when out in Nature. So, he is off again this morning on his Friday walk and lunch with his old friend. Such a wonderful and devoted friend.

We were invited to some old friends for New Years Eve, but I declined....Nick is not very comfortable in an environment with strangers. And there will be many people he wouldnt know at all. I feel fine about it. I was never a NYE reveler.

I see that my buddies Margherita and Amethyst 59 have been having some sleepless nights...hope you ladies catch some naps in the daytime.

Happy Holidays all.

Hi @PalSal ,
You are so kind!
I am awake every night for a couple of hours. Luckily I can sleep in because husband doesn't usually get up before 9.00am. At the moment he is sleeping and letting me sleep at night

 

[margherita]

was never a NYE reveler.

Neither am I.
When I was young I liked it. I used to wear a long evening dress, have special make-up and hairdo. That was about 40 years ago.
Now I prefer to go to bed and keep company to my dogs , in particular the big one, who is scared of fireworks.
Not so many here, since it is a lonely place, but he can hear also those which are far away and starts shaking and panting.
Husband, too, prefers to go to bed at the usual time.
I will cook something good, we'll toast and our celebration is over.
And, to tell the truth, I do not feel like celebrating..even though I should try to find the not few reasons why I should be grateful to life, which you always do, @PalSal .
I'm learning from you (very slowly, indeed)

 

[PalSal]

I am sorry to hear that Nick has hurt his back. I guess he still managed his walk today? Hopefully it will heal, if you can keep him away from the bins! How lovely that you enjoyed time with the family ... but the language must be a problem. Martin still remembers Dutch quite well, as he lived there for a couple of years and we visit annually, but his Italian, which was very good, has nearly all gone. I guess it is because he learnt it as an academic exercise, rather than because he was living and working in the country. He used to use German at work too, evidently it was a common language in the laboratory.
I have a busy few days before we go away...I am having the kitchen decorated. It is not ideal that it is being done immediately before our holiday, but that is the only time the decorator was free. Do you have plans for the new year? I don’t mean for the actual night...but rather, what will you fill your time with now that you are not so involved with the orchestra? I imagine you will still be singing?
Our new helper starts next week, so I will have two nights off a week...once we are in the new routine I hope life will be a lot easier.
It is always lovely to hear from you.

Dear Am,
Actually I will be taking a 6 month break from the choir which is doing a Northern Lights Concert next. I did not want to mix up my German studies with Norwegian, Swedish and Danish stuff at the moment. I will have my citizenship interview in April or May so I must really give myself over to German and concentrate. I am not sure what else I will get up too. I will come to London with friends in March for a weekend. Go to a play and out to dinner. Probably wont see the in laws. But just have fun with three old girlfriends. Will continue with the rock band for now as it is in English. And will continue to attend the concerts of the Sinfonieorchester Basel.....all good. Thanks for responding. Good luck with the new carer, I hope it works out. I will be looking for someone to give me those 6 hours per week but I want evenings. Cheers,

 

[PalSal]

Neither am I.
When I was young I liked it. I used to wear a long evening dress, have special make-up and hairdo. That was about 40 years ago.
Now I prefer to go to bed and keep company to my dogs , in particular the big one, who is scared of fireworks.
Not so many here, since it is a lonely place, but he can hear also those which are far away and starts shaking and panting.
Husband, too, prefers to go to bed at the usual time.
I will cook something good, we'll toast and our celebration is over.
And, to tell the truth, I do not feel like celebrating..even though I should try to find the not few reasons why I should be grateful to life, which you always do, @PalSal .
I'm learning from you (very slowly, indeed)

Dear Margherita....Sounds very nice. I understand the frightened dog scenerio. Our golden hated the fireworks....it was always nice to be home with her and comfort her. Let us know what you will cook....anything Italian sounds delicious. Happy New Year. Cheers, PS

 

[PalSal]

Made the right decision to stay in last night for New Years eve.. It was calm....peaceful and content. The walking was the best part of the day. I have had a few outings over the holidays...but it feels like we have been isolated since Christmas which is not true. I went to Zurich on Tuesday to see friends and band practice Wednesday and the bad dance party on Thursday, babysat the grandbabies on Friday. It is a good thing I am writing this all down. Otherwise, my negative thinking gets in there and I start feeling sorry for myself at the drop of the hat, when in fact I have been out in the world quite a bit.
But I do miss playing games. We used to play scrabble, backgammon and pictionary, and password and lexicon. And on and on. We would have done that last night. Instead it was marathon Pride and Prejudice with Colin Firth. The box is all he can do....and walk. See how quickly I get back into moaning. Its ok.
This afternoon is the New Years Day concert of the Sinfonieorchester. So, I will get dressed up and meet my girlfriend, Then afterwards have drinks and maybe dinner with a few friends from the orchester. I do have things to look forward today.
I am just an excitement junkie....and like some glam in my life--all pretty superficial. Being contented is sometimes hard work for me. Glass half empty stuff......

 

[PalSal]

Living vicariously via dear AM is not enough.
I am thinking a cruise sounds wonderful.
I would like to sell my husband's 1903 12 gauge shotgun. William Powell.
I am trying to investigate the options. In 2005 , it was estimated at 6K GBP by the manufacturer in the UK. A gun dealer on Lake Constance suggested me offering it for sell for 10 k three years ago. But I think it should be worth more now. I really do not know how to go about selling it. Our two sons are not interested. I offered it for sale to my husband's brothers and cousins. No one wanted to buy it. (My one BIL is the caption of alumni shooting club for their old school, I have asked him to help me sell it. I am hoping he answers me this time. I asked about 3 or 4 years ago and he did not offer any help)
I am hoping the sale of the gun could fund a holiday. Not sure if my hubby would enjoy going or just be confused...but I would like to try I think. (the truth is I would prefer to go alone, but that seems too selfish as it is his gun)
And on a cruise there are people to talk to and meet and enjoy. Crystal even hires dancers to dance with you when you have no one to dance with.
Any suggestions on how I might sell this gun would be greatly appreciated. I do not want to use ebay or something as I have no idea how to do that and fear I would get ripped off.

 

[margherita]

(the truth is I would prefer to go alone, but that seems too selfish as it is his gun)

Selfish?
You are sacrificing your LIFE to him.
He can well sacrifice his gun to your cruise on your own.
I don't know if my thought is understandable.. I wish my English were better .
...and I were less blunt and angry

 

[Amethyst59]

I think the laws must be very different where you are. I had to sell Norman’s guns after he died, and it involved the police, checking the gun certificate of the buyer. As soon as Norman died I had to apply for a gun certificate myself. It caused a few laughs when I had to produce it as ID for a teaching post! I certainly don’t think I could have advertised and sold one on eBay...but as I say, maybe the laws are different here, or things might have changed in the last ten years. I would imagine the best place to go would be a dealer...that way you know everything is done legally, though, of course, you would have to pay commission.
Sorry can’t write more now, martin needs me

 

[PalSal]

Living vicariously via dear AM is not enough.
I am thinking a cruise sounds wonderful.
I would like to sell my husband's 1903 12 gauge shotgun. William Powell.
I am trying to investigate the options. In 2005 , it was estimated at 6K GBP by the manufacturer in the UK. A gun dealer on Lake Constance suggested me offering it for sell for 10 k three years ago. But I think it should be worth more now. I really do not know how to go about selling it. Our two sons are not interested. I offered it for sale to my husband's brothers and cousins. No one wanted to buy it. (My one BIL is the caption of alumni shooting club for their old school, I have asked him to help me sell it. I am hoping he answers me this time. I asked about 3 or 4 years ago and he did not offer any help)
I am hoping the sale of the gun could fund a holiday. Not sure if my hubby would enjoy going or just be confused...but I would like to try I think. (the truth is I would prefer to go alone, but that seems too selfish as it is his gun)
And on a cruise there are people to talk to and meet and enjoy. Crystal even hires dancers to dance with you when you have no one to dance with.
Any suggestions on how I might sell this gun would be greatly appreciated. I do not want to use ebay or something as I have no idea how to do that and fear I would get ripped off.

Selfish?
You are sacrificing your LIFE to him.
He can well sacrifice his gun to your cruise on your own.
I don't know if my thought is understandable.. I wish my English were better .
...and I were less blunt and angry

Its ok...somedays are like that for me blunt and angry. I get your point...but we will see first I must try and sell the gun.

 

[PalSal]

I think the laws must be very different where you are. I had to sell Norman’s guns after he died, and it involved the police, checking the gun certificate of the buyer. As soon as Norman died I had to apply for a gun certificate myself. It caused a few laughs when I had to produce it as ID for a teaching post! I certainly don’t think I could have advertised and sold one on eBay...but as I say, maybe the laws are different here, or things might have changed in the last ten years. I would imagine the best place to go would be a dealer...that way you know everything is done legally, though, of course, you would have to pay commission.
Sorry can’t write more now, martin needs me

I have written a Swiss auction house this morning and hope to find some answers there. Have fun....