A Step Further


Registered User
Jul 10, 2006
south lanarkshire

I am feeling better tonight, but when I spoke to the care home manager I realised that no way Mum would be going back to that care home.

Although she didn't say straight out, I got the feeling that they won't have Mum back.

As a back up I then put both Mum and Dad on the waiting list for the dementia unit, where it transpires that the Trust is opening another dementia wing which at this moment have vacancies, although it won't be operational until approx 6 weeks hence which suits me Mum should have been assessed by then. I hope!

So it is not all doom and gloom, or at least that is what I keep trying to tell myself



Registered User
Jul 31, 2007
Hope all went well at the meeting

Dear Fiona,
I do hope your meeting went well, and it was a benifical meeting.
Anything to relieve worry and stress, we have to go through so much to get the help our loved ones need.
Best wishes. christine


Registered User
Jan 8, 2007
hi alfjess, sorry to read about your mum, we also had to take mam out of her nice nh and back into hospital, she also won,t be able to return there. I related to when you said your mam was taking her clothes off, my mam has also started to do this since bieng in hospital. I personally think with my mam it is utter boredom there is absolutely nothing to do or stimulate the patients on the ward and i think mam ends up fiddling with her clothes and removing them, but if your mam has only been in a short while maybe this is not the case. We just don,t know what makes our loved ones do the things they do, well yes we know its the disease! but there are a lot of simularities good luck in having your parents together

Margaret W

Registered User
Apr 28, 2007
North Derbyshire
I have to say that my mum was in a dementia assessment ward for 6 weeks, and it was absolutely great. The fact that the patient is being assessed means that they should get a lot of attention from the staff, and it can make them feel very important and loved. I hope this is your mum's experience.

At the end of the assessment (expect 6 weeks, I guess), they will have a much clearer idea of your mum's needs.

As to whether your dad visits mum, or the other way round, I can only suggest you try it, and see what happens. My mum, during her assessment, seemed to enter a new world, and the old world didn't exist, but then she didn't have a husband still alive and caring. It was as if we started again from scratch.

It must be trebly hard with both parents needing care. Not doubly. Trebly. You haven't just got the difficulty of dealing with each one, but the difficulty of dealing with the relationship as well. I don't envy you at all, and wish you every bit of luck in coping.

Much love


fearful fiona

Registered User
Apr 19, 2007
Dear Alfjess,

Continuing to watch your news with interest and keeping my fingers crossed that all goes well. It does look as though there is some light at the end of the tunnel.

Dear Christine,

Thanks for kind message about meeting. My Dad can stay in the care home permanently but my mum is still being very disruptive but they are trying some new medication which I hope will help.

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