1. bebee.

    bebee. Registered User

    Mar 24, 2006
    12
    oxon,south.
    this brief message is a serious question. I am a very private person , & find even asking is making me feel anxious , but where has God got to !! I am rapidly losing any semblence of faith. can anyone offer a rational explanation ? best wishes to all sufferers & carers.
     
  2. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    1,370
    Newport, Gwent
    Hi Bebee

    I know exactly what you mean. Sadly there is, I don't think, any rational explanation. Having said that, especially in troubled times, it really does depend on where you look. During stressful times, and those times when you don't get 5 minutes to yourself, not even with your own thoughts, it does seem that He has deserted us.

    I'm not terribly religious, but now and again my faith is restored, it could be like today, just got up, the sun is shining, my son just popped in to say hello, all was well with mum last night, yep, faith restored. But it will probably desert me when the next crisis hits!

    Hang on in there Bebee, reading between the lines I think life is very tough for you right now. I know this doesn't answer your question, but sending you a BIG hug.
    Take care
    Cate
     
  3. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    639
    West Sussex
    I am a christian, I don't attend church regularly, but I do have faith in God, sometimes shaky, but always there in the background.

    However, I think that when it comes down to everyday life, it is people who let each other down, not God.

    We have to make the best of the life we have and take the rough with the smooth, life isn't fair sometimes, but I have found that some good always comes out of a bad situation.

    For example, Mum's AD has spared her the awful pain and grief she would have felt when Dad died.

    Hope you feel better soon

    Kathleen
     
  4. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    However, I think that when it comes down to everyday life, it is people who let each other down, not God.

    We have to make the best of the life we have and take the rough with the smooth, life isn't fair sometimes, but I have found that some good always comes out of a bad situation.

    I'm sorry, Kathleen, but I'm not with you on this one. I was brought up in a strict Christian family, and for many years was involved with the church in various capacities, but like you, Bebee, my faith has wavered. I find that in the very bad times I cannot believe in a god who would be so cruel. Then when things are going well I begin to have faith again.

    I can't answer your question, Bebee, but I do understand. Life is so unfair.

    Stay strong,

    Skye
     
  5. Áine

    Áine Registered User

    hi bebee,

    I'm glad you asked this. It's a question I struggled with, and one I guess lots of people struggle with in similar situations. I'm in the middle of doing a theology degree, and did a lot of my reading for the course whilst sitting with a very demented dad (died July this year) in a nursing home. For me, god is in the loving and giving and "being with" the person with dementia: in the ongoing giving of love, even though it's forgotten 5 minutes later and therefore seems worthless. I guess my idea of god isn't about someone who makes it all OK, so much as something that enables us to live creatively through the things that aren't OK. Of course that's not something that everyone will feel comfortable with ........... I can only speak from the sense I've made of the experience.

    best wishes
    Áine
     
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,863
    Kent
    Thank you Aine................I loved your last post. You identified god as I have always believed, that god is in man.
     
  7. Áine

    Áine Registered User

    ..... and in woman :)
     
  8. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    639
    West Sussex
    Skye

    I don't believe God is ever cruel, it is people, therefore, in good and bad times, I have faith in Him.

    Aine

    You put it so much better than I did.

    Kathleen
     
  9. Lonestray

    Lonestray Registered User

    Aug 3, 2006
    236
    Hereford
    God

    With a background like mine brought up by nuns then Christain Brothers badly abused by them, the one thing I still hold fast is we are all made in His likness. The best things in life come with pain. There are positives and negatives and you will not get the warm light of contentment without using both. The worst think to happen in my life was to have my 15yr old daughter killed. I kept asking for a long time: "Why me." In time the memory of a boy I played with in the Inistitution was killed in the same way, my reaction was to shrug my shoulders and say to myself: "He's better off dead" I had long forgotten that lad, now I can cry, for him and pray. There is a reason for everything, so "Always look on the bright side of life" sing. God bless. Padraig
     
  10. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #10 Margarita, Oct 8, 2006
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2006
    I am Roman Catholic, and then when my father died I question the whole issue of God and religion.
    My conclusion:- I was very programmed to believe in a faith to control me, and give me morels .Jesus was after all just a spiritual man leader ,what the catholic faith ,story came after him is just all mythology , mysticism, philosophy Just like, all religions faith.

    All great spiritual leader condemn wars, but government will manipulate people using the word God to fight a war, as in George bush saying "God came in to his dream and told him to go to war "and he got voted in angina after saying that, so he became a Hippocrate :-a manipulater

    My point, we our the creator of own future I do not blame an out side god for what happen to my mum or any other illness that I can not control , so now I do not suffer . I believe in the power of the self

    God to me was a friend to lean on in time of need now he/her is just mythical myth All that is left for me is the milk of human kindness THERE is no need for temples,
    No need for Complicated Philosphies Our Own HEART
    Our temple ;the philosphy is Kindness.


    Good Luck in your quest for peace within
     
  11. Nutty Nan

    Nutty Nan Registered User

    Nov 2, 2003
    787
    Buckinghamshire
    Footprints in the sand

    Two things help me when I am having a praticularly rough time:
    I remind myself to ask for a stronger back rather than a lighter load, and I read the tale of the Footprints in the sand, which ends with the words "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see oly one set of footprints in the sand, it was then that I carried you".
     
  12. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    1,665
    Hi bebee

    In situations like this, you do question your faith............ i did...............and even though i was brought up strict catholic. i've never really been very religious, but i did believe that there was a god of sorts, somewhere in the background, i found the answers to my questions, and as much as i'd like to help you................your the only one who can find the answers to yours.

    Believing in god is a comfort ...............i hope you find the answers your looking for and i hope they are more positive than mine!

    Good luck and best wishes.
    Love Alex x
     
  13. Eve G.

    Eve G. Guest

    T'ain't no such thing, honey. Not in my world, anyway. I'm sure "faith" in whatever religious being you were brought up to believe in is comforting, and if so, then more power to you. A lot of us are struggling along OK without any belief in religion, though. In my case, the fact that the universe doesn't give a darn about you or me makes me feel lucky that--although my mother is dying of dementia--at least it's in a modern country with medical help, and not, say, in 15th-century China. The luck of the draw.
     
  14. bebee.

    bebee. Registered User

    Mar 24, 2006
    12
    oxon,south.
    #14 bebee., Oct 9, 2006
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2006
    food for thought.

    thanks to all. My beliefs are not based on an inherent fear factor. enough said. I remain a " don't know " . best wishes.
     
  15. Eve G.

    Eve G. Guest

    Well, all best to you, dear--we're all in this together, and I am sending good thoughts your way.
     
  16. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    bebee,

    Well I guess the only answer to your question is that there isn't one. So many different opinions have been expressed, and we're all entitled to our opinions. That's the beauty of this site, you can say what you like, moan, complain, cry, shout, and someone will be feeling the same as you.

    Don't be put off by the variety of opinions expressed, that's what it's all about.

    Please post again, if you have any specific problem there will always be someone able to help, or at least sympathise.

    All the best,

    Skye
     
  17. rummy

    rummy Registered User

    Jul 15, 2005
    700
    Oklahoma,USA
    Bebee,
    It is easy to have faith when times are good and you are happy and all your loved ones are healthy. We are just ordinary, simple, destructable beings and things go wrong. As awful as AD is,,, there is always worse. All my Mom's life "persevere" was her all time saying when faced with difficulties. Then I found this verse which says it all.
    "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
    Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him"
    We were told in a hospice meeting yesterday that Mom is down to 90lbs and very very frail. She won't live many more months if not weeks. Still, she pats the hand of the AD lady sitting next to her, she brings sweetness and a smile to every worker in the home, she can sing and her sweet voice is heard by all in astonishment, she warms the hearts of everyone that she is contact with by holding her husbands hand as they walk. With every ache, pain, and confusion, she teaches her caretakers, making them better at what they do. And she teaches me too, not only how to be a care taker but how to let go.
    It is through difficult times that we are tested and we build a soul. It is easy to turn away from God and to blame him. It is harder to hang tough with him and have faith that through him all will be ok. I struggle with it daily, but I know the reward will be that I will be with my Mom again someday and hopefully she will say, "well done".
    Take care and God Bless,
    Debbie
     
  18. rummy

    rummy Registered User

    Jul 15, 2005
    700
    Oklahoma,USA
    Sorry Margaurite, but this is not at all what happened, and GB was reelected for many reasons, not because God came to him in a dream. If he had said that, he wouldn't have gotten one vote in the US. He has never used religion as an explanation for going to war. Our entire Congress and Senate voted to go to war on the same evidence that GB had, we may not like it, but that is the facts.
    I ask the critics just one thing.....what would you do different? Come up with another plan and lets look at it.

    I know, politics and religion aren't allowed and I've covered both this morning.... so I'll shut up.

    debbie
     
  19. dondon

    dondon Registered User

    Nov 1, 2006
    6
    canada
    faith is in the beholder and i am not religious by any ways or means but i hope to whoever that when this ordeal is thru that my dad finds peace with his maker i have a little faith right now and a lot of hope i am finding hope in all kinds of areas and stay strong that soon he will be at peace and no longer b tormented by this hatefull illness if there is a god there is a devil and this illness is deffo the devils work and god has not yet given us the remedy which we seek but as with all of the illness we have been given the remedy for i hope against all hope the remedy comes soon for alzheimers it has taken a part of me that will not be replaced and thats my dad but when he is at peace i will remeber the man who held me and kissed all my fears away if tehre is a god there will soon be a cure my faith is slowly returning as i type this even tho im babbling on but i feel better :eek:
     

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