Dear Talking Point friends,
My last post was difficult on July 4th. So, grateful I was able to come to Talking Point and get perspective on what I am dealing with daily. I forget. And find others who understood what happened and my breaking point.
Looking back on that terrible day, I can see I was under such pressure. The final interview for my Swiss citizenship was on July 5 and as you on talking point know, I have been preparing and studying for three years.
With the final interview behind me, life is really really different. I no longer need to get up and study every day, no organize care and get to German classes, and now I am truly a retired person, as I am no longer working since Dec 2017. But I finally feel retired.
I awake up in the morning and thank my God that I am free to choose to do or not do anything at all. I cannot remember when I have felt so free.
I spent a good deal of time the first days after the exams getting my house, laundry and ironing all in order. The garden flowers fertilized and general household duties.
I have been good to my promise of trying to take simple pleasures in life, ie eating out on the balcony and the terrace and enjoying our lovely spaces. Making a conscious effort to be aware of all the lovely gifts of our lives. Especially that after having this disease so long Nick is still physically pretty fit, although he does tire more easily, I do notice this. We enjoying living here on the mountain, as I do not think we can stay here forever, I want to savor its pleasures for now we must make the most of it.
We have enjoyed this week, the weather has been really fine and Nick has had his usual walks and pleasures. I went to Montreux to the Jazz Festival and heard Van Morrison and Steve Winwood play. That was a fabulous mini break. I was just away for one night. But even one night away, is such a pampered feeling. I stayed at a beautiful hotel right on the lake, and I got up in the morning and took a long long walk (12,000 steps of my pedometer)
Yesterday, we went to a little private club swimming pool on the top of the Bruderholz where our daughter lives. She and her family belong so we could go as guests. It was lovely and gentle and not crowded. I picnic'd and swam all day from 10:30 to 17:00. Nick was not very comfortable and he never went in the water. He was there in body but not in mind and spirit. He takes no real pleasure from being with us....he is just there. It is so strange. Where have his mind and spirit gone. So, I just get on with making myself happy. The only time he is really happy is when he is hiking in the mountains, the rest of the time he just seems disconnected unplugged and unable to focus or recognize where he is and what is going on around him.
Nick has been wanting to swim in the Rhein but I am afraid to take him to our old spot to swim. As he no longer recognizes me when other faces are around, I fear he will be confused in the river....at this time of year it is full of people. Last year I took him to a quieter spot up river to swim at it all went well. We will go to another place which is a contolled swim area and I am thinking he needs where he must stop.
Since the incident, I realized that I must use the sedative more in the evening. I had been enduring his behaviors in the evenings and so as not to use the Dipiperon. After the incident I spoke to his neuropsychiatrist and he told me I could give him up to four tablets a day. I now am giving him one at about 4 or 5 in the afternoon and then again at bedtime. Nick is a little less anxious the evenings and sleeping better. I am not sure why I did not want him to take the Dipiperon, I guess I was worried his would have incontinence or something. But all seems to be well
So, I will pack a picnic and we will go early to the water and stay late as we have nothing pressing to doing our lives now. No big deals no pressures. It feels amazing.
My last post was difficult on July 4th. So, grateful I was able to come to Talking Point and get perspective on what I am dealing with daily. I forget. And find others who understood what happened and my breaking point.
Looking back on that terrible day, I can see I was under such pressure. The final interview for my Swiss citizenship was on July 5 and as you on talking point know, I have been preparing and studying for three years.
With the final interview behind me, life is really really different. I no longer need to get up and study every day, no organize care and get to German classes, and now I am truly a retired person, as I am no longer working since Dec 2017. But I finally feel retired.
I awake up in the morning and thank my God that I am free to choose to do or not do anything at all. I cannot remember when I have felt so free.
I spent a good deal of time the first days after the exams getting my house, laundry and ironing all in order. The garden flowers fertilized and general household duties.
I have been good to my promise of trying to take simple pleasures in life, ie eating out on the balcony and the terrace and enjoying our lovely spaces. Making a conscious effort to be aware of all the lovely gifts of our lives. Especially that after having this disease so long Nick is still physically pretty fit, although he does tire more easily, I do notice this. We enjoying living here on the mountain, as I do not think we can stay here forever, I want to savor its pleasures for now we must make the most of it.
We have enjoyed this week, the weather has been really fine and Nick has had his usual walks and pleasures. I went to Montreux to the Jazz Festival and heard Van Morrison and Steve Winwood play. That was a fabulous mini break. I was just away for one night. But even one night away, is such a pampered feeling. I stayed at a beautiful hotel right on the lake, and I got up in the morning and took a long long walk (12,000 steps of my pedometer)
Yesterday, we went to a little private club swimming pool on the top of the Bruderholz where our daughter lives. She and her family belong so we could go as guests. It was lovely and gentle and not crowded. I picnic'd and swam all day from 10:30 to 17:00. Nick was not very comfortable and he never went in the water. He was there in body but not in mind and spirit. He takes no real pleasure from being with us....he is just there. It is so strange. Where have his mind and spirit gone. So, I just get on with making myself happy. The only time he is really happy is when he is hiking in the mountains, the rest of the time he just seems disconnected unplugged and unable to focus or recognize where he is and what is going on around him.
Nick has been wanting to swim in the Rhein but I am afraid to take him to our old spot to swim. As he no longer recognizes me when other faces are around, I fear he will be confused in the river....at this time of year it is full of people. Last year I took him to a quieter spot up river to swim at it all went well. We will go to another place which is a contolled swim area and I am thinking he needs where he must stop.
Since the incident, I realized that I must use the sedative more in the evening. I had been enduring his behaviors in the evenings and so as not to use the Dipiperon. After the incident I spoke to his neuropsychiatrist and he told me I could give him up to four tablets a day. I now am giving him one at about 4 or 5 in the afternoon and then again at bedtime. Nick is a little less anxious the evenings and sleeping better. I am not sure why I did not want him to take the Dipiperon, I guess I was worried his would have incontinence or something. But all seems to be well
So, I will pack a picnic and we will go early to the water and stay late as we have nothing pressing to doing our lives now. No big deals no pressures. It feels amazing.
Attachments
Last edited:
